‘…20-40 mins before I can reach orgasm’
I am a 26 year old guy. I have a good life at the moment with friends and a loving family. I have had some relationships in the past but I am single now and I want to stay that way for a while. I have a great job and good career ahead of me. I party with my friends on weekends but not every weekend.
Some say that I am a bit selfish but that’s just me. I know I am supposed to be intelligent and mature and able to shoulder all the responsibilities given to me but I still feel like a teenager. My parents are desperately looking for a girl and I am honestly feeling very sad and depressed and very anxious and nervous.
I am not ready for marriage. I have told them but they are not listening, they just think that I am a bit nervous or acting out. The fact is I am afraid of marriage and yes maybe I am a coward but as of now I don’t want to get married (but maybe after 3 years) and no kids never kids.
I know it will be very hard to find a girl who will be ok to have great sex everyday but no kids. Yeah, I sound like a spoiled brat or whatever but I am a very hard working person but I just don’t want kids. Also I want to get married but not for another 3 years at least. Is there something wrong with me? I don’t want to lose my youthfulness so early.
- Batman
Hello Batman,
There’s nothing wrong, selfish or abnormal about the way you feel. You feel that you don’t want to be married just as yet, so that’s perfectly understandable. Do keep speaking with your parents and asking for their patience until such a time you are ready to commit to a relationship. You can decide on the kids- to have them or not- once you find that girl you want to settle down with.
- Efe
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Hello Efe,
I am serving in Abuja and I have a boyfriend in Lagos that I have been dating for 4 years. The thing is, there is this cute guy in my office building that is seriously interested in me and wants to settle down….get married. My boyfriend is still a daddy’s boy. Driving his mum’s car and travelling all over. In short, he is still cool and happy to be spending his parents’ money and not thinking of settling down or getting serious on a job. We even had a fight when I went to Lagos during Easter and can you imagine he has not even called me since then? I have decided to move on from his lazy stupid ass and start getting serious with this guy in Abuja. I don’t need a reply, I just wanted to rant.
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Hello boss,
I guess this is going to sound really stupid but I don’t know who else to ask.
I am 22 yr old guy who is in a relationship. My girlfriend and I are sexually active. The problem is that it takes me around 20-40 mins before I can reach orgasm. If we try doing it second time during the same night, it can take another 30-40 mins. This causes a lot of discomfort for my girlfriend and I feel bad because I care for her a lot. But I always hear girls complain that most guys come in 3-5 minutes and even some of my friends have even said the same thing too, so I am wondering if there is something wrong. Should I see a doctor?
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Okay Efe, here it is…… the whole getting over your ex thing like hanging out with friends or reading a book or doing something to get him off your mind is not working for me!!! No matter where I am or what I am doing, I keeping on getting flashbacks. I miss him alot but I want to move on, I’m tired of crying, being sad and hurt. He’s honestly being a dick because he’s over me and I know it is because he’s a guy. He got over me pretty fast and I’m still not FULLY over him and it’s been a month…….It’s not fair!!!!!! *Sobs* HELP ME!!!
Thanks, Crying pretty girl
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Hello everyone, please use the comment box and give some advice or share our own experience.
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As always, any email sent to saturdayconvos@thenakedconvos.com asking questions or sharing a secret will be treated discretely and only published as anonymous.Enjoy the rest of your weekend
About the Author
Efe_Ogaren I am in my late twenties and happily married with an academic background in Economics, Psychology & Finance. My professional experience is in Management Consulting & I enjoy being outdoors, volunteering and observing social interactions between people.
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First?
Its too early to say u don't wanna have kids..when u find d girl you want to settle down with,that may change…I hope it does.
'The best way to get over a guy is to get under another' -____-
First off, I burst into laugher reading this. Batman, your name sounds like one of my childhood superhero characters who loved to stay alone. Still stuck in childhood? I like!
This babe who came here to rant. Driving mummy's car and travelling all over the place. Cracked me up.
Then this guy who wants to come in 5 minutes. Bahahahahaha. I remember a girl saying once, "You should have come by now, maybe I should have brought baby oil." Buahahahahahahahaha. Stop making her work. Just concentrate on pleasing her with touch and kisses. Called foreplay. And I don't think any girl would hate that. ;)
Pretty, crying girl. I think you need a change of scene. The house you are in is probably the one you were in when you fell in love with him. The city too. Going through those familiar paths will trigger memories in someone as hypnotic as yourself. Plan a holiday away from that place. I think it would help. Also find a good kisser for now. Kissing is ten times more effective than some painkillers, so they say.
*strolls off into sunset*
To the guy who lasts 30-40 mins, u r definitely doing something wrong d whole time. Are u kidding me? Dats wat women want-a man who last, only if u know ur stuff but if ur just stabbing, pls try n cum in two mins n pleasure her wit ur tongue or let her use her dildo. My advice to u, go n learn how to do it.
Crying girl… I understand that everyone is different and people have varying coping mechanisms but from personal experience and from talking to other people I have realised one thing… IF YOU WANT TO GET OVER HIM, YOU WILL! I used to argue that emotions are hard to control but sweetie, you are holding on to a memory that will hurt you over and over again. I'm pretty sure that when you read a book and see a word (even if it's a pronoun that everyone uses), you'll remember how he used to say it and start feeling like crap. Listen, you've said it yourself, he's over you… I'm too sure there are things he did to you that can replace the sweet perfect memory you have created in your mind about your lost relationship.
Perhaps you need to see how well he has moved on for it to register in your mind that you NEED to move on and save your tears for your monthly cramps or something worth crying over.
Batman – being grown up is not just abt having financial and physical independence, its about emotional/mental independence too. Just remember that while it is gonna b u and not ur parents who r miserable in a forced marriage. Take ur time, bro.
Miss Boyfriend-is-Mummy's-Boy…good riddance to bad rubbish! He can go grow up on someone else's time.
Mr 20-minutes, your problem is not timing, its technique. Trust me, if u were doing it right, she wouldn't think 20mins was too long. Hit the internet, educational vids, and COMMUNICATE so u find out what will make it more pleasant for her.
Miss Cry-Me-A-River, everytime u wanna cry over losing him, think about the times he made you mad, disrespected you, and generally didn't live up to the man you expected him to be. If you do that, soon you'll be thanking the powers that be for rescuing you!
20-40mins…… Ladies and Gents, meet my boyfriend.
He lasts forever and at first i was very uncomfortable not because i wasnt enjoying it but because i had never seen such. overtime i let go and thoroughly enjoy myself over 3 to 5 orgasms each time we have sex.
So the 22year old asking, there is nothing wrong with you although you might want to concentrate on foreplay alot while making sure your girl doesnt get dry.