43 Fafunwa S2 EP 10: Kasala
Saturday afternoons at Fafunwa Street almost always look surreal. A visitor would get the feeling the entire neighbourhood was holding its breath waiting for some form of climax. Young men would sit in little groups scattered around, some discussing, others just passing tine, waiting and waiting…
At number 43, the mood wasn’t different, Mr. Andrew and Officer Banwo were at the entrance to the building quietly having a discussion:
“I just thanki God say e don start again. After thiri whole months. E just be like say I no fit hold body again. As my wife dey talk for lasti nighti, all my mind just dey for today” Mr. Andrew said as he rubbed his palms together as if wading off evening cold.
“You no fit happy reach me” Officer Banwo retorted, hands across his chest as he leaned on the wall. “But as I dey happy, I dey calculate the money wey this foolish NEPA people go make me go spend.”
“Officer, money hardi o! But football sef sweeti. I wan first see as dem go demolish Asena and Shesi before my boys come play for Monday” Mr. Andrew replied with an ear to ear grin.
“Old Soldier never die! Pa Andrew the great!”
Both men looked in the direction the words came from to see Ayanfe walking towards them.
“The ever great Old Soldier. Chei, Mr. Andrew, when I grow up, I wan be like you o. As you old reach, your body stiiiiiiiiill strrrronng kakara pass zuma rock sef.”
Ayanfe bounced from foot to foot, licking his lips and scrunching his eye brows in what was supposed to be a wink that only Mr. Andrew knew the reason behind.
Mr. Andrew stared at Ayanfe, wondering what on earth had gotten into him. Ayanfe finally got close to Mr. Andrew and proceeded to whisper in his ear.
“Old soldier, shey our sister do am well well for you?”
The smile on his face got wider.
“Ayanfe, I no understandi whati you mean.” Ayanfe drew even nearer and whispered “Baba, no need to form na, I be sharp guy, madam no go know every but me sef for like chop old man meat o.”
“Ehn! Ehn! Ehn!” Mr. Andrew exclaimed. “You this stupid boy, you better explaini yourself o!”
****
In Ifeanyi’s room, another conversation was going on:
“Anyi you have to listen to me, it is not what you think.” Ifeanyi’s eyes had reddened beyond recognition. He had been asking the same question over and over again and getting the same answer.
“If it is not what I think then what is it? Ehn, you this woman, what is it that happened?” He hissed and made for the door as Ibiyemi instantly broke into tears.
“Anyi o!! Jo, please, biko… It is not what you think o!”
She reached out to grab his leg but the look on his face stopped her cold. Ifeanyi started to say something but the words just didn’t come out. He stammered as he took another look at Ibiyemi and then headed towards the door trailed by loud sobs from Ibiyemi.
***
Back outside, away from the argument developing between Mr. Andrew and Ayanfe, just right infront of the house, a brand new SUV had pulled up. The vehicle had been heavily customized complete with a custom plate number that simple read:
MOGIC.
The front doors opened and to Officer Banwo’s surprise, out came Mozilla from the driver’s side closely followed by Mr. Alabi who had come down from the passenger’s side. Mozilla was dressed in a white native attire complete with a cap while Mr. Alabi was wearing a suit complete with a tie. What was even more shocking was that Mr. Alabi had two bibles in his hand and both men brandished lavish smiles as they walked towards the building.
“Good evening gentlemen. The God of Mogic shall bless you today.”
The words came from Mozilla to Mr. Andrew, Officer Banwo and Ayanfe. They all paused to stare at him with mouths wide open. Mozilla paid no attention to them as he continued walking into the building towards Laide’s room. Then suddenly a phone began to ring, the voice of Evangelist Bola Aare harmonizing to a gospel song came out of nowhere and the three men watched as Mr. Alabi scrambled to extract a phone from his pocket.
“Prophet, the person calling is Sparrow.” Mr. Alabi said to Mozilla.
“Behold, old things have passed away says the Lord our God of Mogic…. Askolobaaaa baaaa logo mo skorotototototo …”
Mozilla broke into what looked like a fit of some sort but instead of fretting, Mr. Alabi joined in occasionally chipping in:
“Hallelujah, hallelujah.”
Just as suddenly as he started, Mozilla stopped, looked at Mr. Alabi and said.
“There is more pressing matter for me. Wait. I am coming.”
With that, he walked into the building and stood in front of Laide’s room to knock the door but the sounds coming out of the room stopped him dead in his tracks.
Prophet MOGIC, is somebody pressing the matter?
In Laide’s room, hell had broken loose. She jumped out of her bed half covered in her bed sheet. She ran to a corner of the room and began trembling not knowing what to do.
“Ye! Ye! Ye! Mogbe! It’s Mozilla!! Ye we are dead.” Laide whispered frantically, as she tried to cover Eddy’s mouth with her hands. Eddy shoved her hand aside:
“Ehen? What is now shaking you. Abi you marry am wey I no know? Abeg free me let me go and face him man to man.”
Laide was now pulling her hair, biting her fingers and then jumped in front of Eddy all at once. Crying and begging him to stay inside.
“Come, Laide, this is what we spoke about last night, I’m tired of all this hide and seek. Abeg leave road.”
****
Ifeanyi burst out of his room, dragging the yoke that was Ibiyemi attached to his leg. He pulled her along trying to detach himself from her grip but like a leech that had found blood she stayed attached. Firmly.
“What is this? I say talk! Tell me what happened, you no talk. I say I no do again and you won’t allow me to go. Ibiyemi are you a witch?”
” Anyi oooo! It is not what you think o!”
****
Amidst the drama brought about by Mozilla and Mr. Alabi, Ayanfe had forgotten his argument with Mr. Andrew. The old soldier used this to his advantage and grabbed Ayanfe while he wasn’t paying attention.
“Yes, you this gossipi man, you musti be stupidi! I say telli me what you meani! Today you will know how I survived the war! Better explaini yourself.” Mr. Andrew adjusted his grip on Ayanfe’s trouser and pulled him up with it. Ayanfe looked to Officer Banwo for help but the officer seemed more interested in what was going on by Laide’s door so he stared on, unconcerned by Ayanfe’s plight.
****
Laide’s door finally opened and a visibly aggravated Eddy spoke to Mozilla with a raised voice.
“Mozilla, na me Eddy dey inside here! What do you want to do?”
Mozilla looked in awe at Eddy. He could not believe it. The rat! The little rat had finally grown some liver. He didn’t ponder his next line of action. He couldn’t have. His instincts simple told him to run at Eddy headfirst and that was what he did. They both fell to the ground.
We know you are tired of hearing it but… Na so kasala burst o.
Doshima rushed out to see the reason for the ruckus. Her heavily pregnant state meant she had been indoors a lot lately and she had missed out on a lot of action. She wasn’t going to be told this gist, she made it out of the corridor just as Ifeanyi dragged Ibiyemi outside. Almost all the members of the house and people from neighbouring buildings were now present outside and it was a challenge deciding which fight to focus on as they all looked promising.
It was a free for all battle. Ifeanyi and Ibiyemi, Mr. Andrew and Ayanfe, Eddy and Mozilla.
This is what the WWE is made of.
The crowd was cheering on and a visibly distraught Mr. Alabi kept on yelling
“Prophet! Prophet!
Mozilla and Eddy both got up, sized each other up, ready to go for another round but Laide ran and stood between them. Her wrapper loosely tied around her chest, revealing a healthy amount of cleavage. The sight of Laide so loosely clad overloaded Mozilla’s brain. He swung his right hand over Laide’s head to hit Eddy.
He missed.
“Ye! Ye! Ye!”
Doshima’s scream paused the mass nigga moment.
There was a moment of silence and almost at the same time, everyone rushed to her side.
“Water o! Water. Her baby is coming!” yelled Ifeanyi.
Out of nowhere, Kevwe appeared. He parted the crowd and rushed to Doshima’s side.
“Can’t you see she has gone into labour? You want her to have her baby here?” he said as he tried to lift Doshima up.
“Is that you Kevwe?”
Mrs. Alabi’s shrill voice made everyone turn around. They all watched as she tied her headgear round her waist.
“Ehn hen, just do and finish with her o. You will come and tell me what you give my pikin chop?”
**************
FOR THOSE WHO MIGHT BE A BIT CONFUSED AFTER READNG THIS, ALL WILL BE EXPLAINED NEXT WEEK. HOWEVER, IT IS IMPORTANT TO NOTE THAT THIS EPISODE WAS A FLASH BACK.
DON’T MISS THE SEASON FINALE NEXT WEEK.
Thanks for reading. This episode was written with @kimeclectic
Please drop your comments below. For those new to #43F, you can catch up on the previous episodes here.
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43 Fafunwa Season 2 Finale →
43 Fafunwa S2 EP 9: Unwanted Visitors →
43 Fafunwa S2 EP 8: Hot Soup →
first?
Aaaaarggh. N I thot I was gonna b 1st. At least I'm 2nd *dancing azonto*
Finally! All the action from unconcluded scenes. Ayanfe's long neck go short by force today. So Mozilla Trully started that MOGIC of his? Wait o, Prophet dey fight over woman nii?
LOOOOL!
wait sef, i missed the importatnt part: 43F is ending next week? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
LMFAO!!!!!!! Mozilla is now a prophet? I was laughing from the beginning
Too much drama. Cant stop myself from laughing. Kevwe is in soup. Laide have enter her own and Ibiyemi ……….
Kai! Action packed. Salivating in advance for next week.
Dis was just so funny! Mozilla don turn big boy, we finally knw d father of d baby I tink… Hummmmm
And as usual chaos in 43… Can't wait to read d conclusion
"Mass nigger moment"! Lol!
Alittle bit confused ke? Confused much… #whew
Looooooool. This is the 43 Fafunwa I like – action-packed! Fake pastors, baby daddies…and did I misunderstand or is Ayanfe coming on to Mr Andrew? Can't wait for next week!
Confused.com
U r doing a gr8 job. Keep it up!