43 Fafunwa S2 Ep3 : Ole
It’s never difficult to know when there’s no power supply late at night at 43 Fafunwa. The house is always unusually quiet with faint sounds occasionally coming from the rooms. Tonight was no different; it was a little after 11 pm and that almost unnatural calm was over the house until:
A slap. A loud one.
“Where is the money! Where is the money from all the aso-ebi? We know it is here! Will you talk before I shoot you?”
Another slap. Followed by a yelp.
The noise seemed to be coming from Ifeanyi’s room and Madam Wangerr who had only just returned after a busy day at the canteen was first to hear it.
“Baba Doshima you hear that?” she asked her husband as she entered their room.
“What isi that?”
As if on cue, another slap rang out.
“Ha, Baba Doshima, is this what I think it is?”
“Womani willi you sharrap?!” He seemed to be straining as if trying to make out exactly what he was hearing.
Mr. Andrew’s attempt to calm his wife was, however, duly punctuated by the loud sound of a gun shot.
Mr. Andrew was a retired military man. If that meant he was not afraid to die, it probably also meant he was quick to move: before his wife could make a dash for it, he was already under the sole bed in the room. Shivering. His movement woke some of the children who had been sleeping on it.
“See this stupid old soldier. So you hear gun shot and instead of protecting your family you are hiding?”
“Shhhhh… womani keepi quiet. This is opposition work. Landilordi opposition havi sent them to killi me!”
Some of the children who had been sleeping on the bed, including Doshima were now awake and visibly worried. Madam Wangerr tried to hide her disappointment in her husband and she quickly went to lock the door to the room. She managed to push one of her cupboards behind the door and then she rushed to hide her jewelry box deep down her wrapper.
Deep deep down her wrapper.
Sister Laide had also heard the gunshot and as much as her instincts told her to shout JESUS, she managed to control herself by covering her mouth with her hands. She ran to secure her door and latched on to her Bible. What was going on? Was this a sign from God? She couldn’t think at first and then, suddenly, she knew what to do. She scampered across the room and picked up her phone from her bedside drawer. Only one person could help her right now.
“Hello”
“Moru… Mozilla. Thief. Thieves.”
“Olaide mi. What? Where the thief?”
“They are here, in our house, what should I do?”
“Ha! Just keep calm my dear. Keep calm. I am a bit far from your area but I will see what I can do.”
Cue the “Superman” theme song. *sigh*
Ifiok was standing behind his door continuously trying Officer Banwo’s number. How come it was this night of all nights that he wasn’t picking his phone? He couldn’t possibly be out. There were no more road blocks so….
Ifiok broke away from his own thoughts when he remembered his own brother Eddy hadn’t gotten back in. God forbid he walks in while the robbers are leaving. He was indeed tired of Eddy and more than twice that week, he had contemplated sending him back to the village. His shady demeanour, new acquisitions like his Nokia Asha phone and his late night movements (all in the name of going to watch football) were getting out of hand.
GBA! GBA! GBA!
“Open this door!!!”
The voice was loud and mean. They were knocking hard on Sparrow’s door; that was too close for comfort. Knowing Sparrow was out, Ifiok figured he might be next and quickly turned over his mattress, took out a bundle of money and tucked it deep into one of his storage containers. He silently prayed they wouldn’t get to him.
***
Mr. Alabi covered his wife’s mouth. She didn’t faint at the sight her husband just showed her but she had decided to give into her second reaction… which was to scream.
It was a small-sized Ghana-Must-Go bag.
Filled with money.
“Baba Kunle, where did you find this money?” She whispered to her husband who was sitting beside her backing the door to their room.
“I can’t talk now, just help me find somewhere to hide it.”
“Hide what? This is obviously what they are looking for. Let us take the money outside and give to them so they can go.”
“Are you well? Look around you, do you want to keep living like this?”
“Baba Kunle where did you get this money from? Please don’t tell me you stole it.”
“I didn’t steal it!” He almost screamed at her before he restrained himself.
“God sent me this money and I’m keeping it.”
****************
As he walked into the building, he heard wailing and the all too familiar sounds of violence. He unsheathed his gun.
****************
“He’s a useless man, please deal with him.” The noise came from the corridor that ran through the house, he could clearly make out Madam Wangerr’s voice asking the thieves to deal with her husband.
This was followed with more sounds of slapping and then…
A gun shot.
Then another
And another.
“Ole! Ole! Ole”
“Thief! Thief! Thief!”
Sister Laide could not control her emotions, she heard all kinds of sounds, yelling, wrestling and people running. She began to cry and almost jumped out of her own skin when she heard the knock on her door.
“Olaide! Laide! Open, is Mozilla.”
Sister Laide could not believe it. Were the thieves gone? Was Mozilla alone? Or were they trying to use him to get into her room?
“Laide, is fine. The thief have go, you can open the door. Someone helped us to fight and drive them away…”
Sister Laide was almost shaking; she knew Mozilla couldn’t lie to her. She took a deep breath and pulled open her door and almost fell into Mozilla’s waiting arms. In the background she could hear all kinds of noise. She broke away from Mozilla’s embrace and that was when she noticed the dead man lying on the floor of their corridor. Standing over him was Kevwe their almost invisible neighbour… holding a gun.
He looked around. The entire neighbourhod had gathered and was now cheering him. He looked intensely uninterested. As he parted his lips, the whole place fell silent as though it were the words of a god. A request…
“Abeg who go find me cigah?”
*****************************
GIVEAWAY: The awesome giveaway from Nokia Nigeria comes to an end today. So if you haven’t sent in your entry, you still have till midnight today. We will be announcing the winners during next weeks episode so stay tuned.
If you’ve forgotten, here’s how to win:
Eddy, Ifiok’s jobless younger brother just bought a Nokia Asha 303 phone, how is this possible? Come up with a creative answer, possibly something we can use in one of future episodes and tweet at the TNC handle (@thenakedconvos) or write on our Facebook page (http://www.facebook.com/tncng). Include this hashtag (#43F) in your answer.
Competition is open to everyone except members of the TNC family. Goodluck.
You can read previous episodes here. Please share your comments below. Cheers.
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43 Fafunwa Season 2 Finale →
43 Fafunwa S2 EP 10: Kasala →
43 Fafunwa S2 EP 9: Unwanted Visitors →
hehe…. i see the justice leaague has moved into 43F …
may i never know a Baba Doshima in my life…. lol
Hahaha. Amen to that!
Did Madam Wanger really tell them to deal with her husband….Bahahaha. Why evils
2nd????
Some Clint Eastwood sturvz at the end… F**king Ridiculous! LOL
I thought Mozilla was Superman. Niggas be stealing your swegg out here.
theme song from "the good, the bad and the ugly" playing in d background..if you wanna shoot, shoot. don't talk…*puts gun in holster* wink wink..nice
Eddy: he has a ugar mommy who gives him money nd gifts in return. in a surprising twist, it turns out to be madam wagnerr
*sugar*