The Back-up Plan
No, this post isn’t about the movie, which I thought was totally awful by the way. I mean, I’ve never liked JLo as an actress but you’d have to give her credit, quite a lot of the cheesy romantic comedies (Yes, I side-stepped the chic-flick thing) she’s done have been pretty decent so I was surprised when I saw The Backup plan (of course, I was forced – but it was for a ‘greater good’) and it was totally shitty.
Anyway, I digress.
We are gathered here to discuss a very important phenomenon that has possibly been in existence since Adam and Eve’s first son became old enough to chase women K. What am I talking about? Well, it’s something that I’m pretty sure is inherent in women worldwide – push hard enough and you might probably get to prove it genetically.
I’m talking about The Back-up Plan.
What is the Back-up Plan? If you are a guy asking (and I’m sure you are), the simple answer to that question is:
YOU.
You see, this is one phenomenon that has defied almost all scientific/statistical analysis. Why? Because on the surface, it really makes no sense (or maybe it does; but that is why we are here). If numerically, women on earth outnumber men almost seven times over, it almost makes logical sense when a man approaches three women with similar proposal with the mindset of eliminating two based on whatever criteria he had set. But the Back-up Plan as practiced by women worldwide absolutely contradicts this and for too long, I’ve wondered WHY?
Why is it that a good looking guy (maybe not an Idris Elba), but good looking, middle class, has a nice job, drives a decent car etc etc, finally picks up enough courage to approach this averagely good-looking SINGLE chic and puts ‘his moves’ on her. They connect almost instantly, she lets him buy her a drink and they chat for hours into the evening. At the end of the night, they exchange numbers, Blackberry PINS or whatever and the guy walks away thinking “Score!” But chic goes home thinking….
Backup Plan ………………… Number (21)
Ok, so now you get it. Yes, you, you, me, you, you and that guy looking away, we’ve all been/are currently Back-up Plans to some chic somewhere and as much as you might want to deny it or defend yourself – DON’T. It’s really nothing to be ashamed of. Especially if you got/go away with a piece of the … *ahem…
Before we get to the questions and why we are really here, I’ve got to say that as men, we sometimes let our egos blind us. I’ll leave this for my colleague Sheila to handle because I know she’s written something to help guys like these. But apart from the ego, men also sometimes underestimate some of the God-given powers of women.
I tweeted yesterday: “Never ever underestimate the ‘multitasking ability’ of women.” and I got like a truckload of retweets but it later occurred to me that a lot of guys probably read that and shrugged it off as me being me.
Newsflash!
That’s something you write down and even tattoo on your heart so you don’t get carried away. I’m not trying to preach cynicism here. When it’s real, its REAL and even blind men will be able to testify but guys need to chill will the proud tail wagging when they know they’re still Backup Number 19. So what she chats with you on BB all day? I know women who can chat with four guys at the same time and not one conversation will suffer.
Honestly, I’ve decided not to blame the women. Why? Truth is, some of us men are so basic, it’s too easy to reduce us to mere ‘tasks’ hence the word ‘multitasking’. Let me give you some examples:
Tola – Sex + Attention when he grumbles about work + Sex + Indomie
Usman – Attention about his parents + Attention about religion
Emeka – Food + Attention about his business
Take a look at that and tell me it can’t be worked into a weekly timetable that will easily accommodate all without any suffering. Women’s awesome multitasking ability makes them such efficient players but that’s a post for another day.
We are here to dialogue today and what do I want to know?
WHY?
Notice I didn’t say anything about the advantages of The Back-up Plan or how to know if you’re someone’s Backup Plan. Maybe because I don’t know the answers to those questions or I want the ladies to help us out. So please use the comment box and tell us why. It might sound silly asking why someone needs a backup plan but when your backup plan is the backup to another backup, then there’s a problem. As for the guys reading this, don’t be left out, share your experiences and help us shed more light on the subject. Cheers.
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:D
1st?
We all do it.
Almost every girl has a cluster of toasters and though she might like one more than the rest, she certainly isn't going to tell the rest to bugger off.
Everyone needs a back up plan or 2 or 3 or more for different reasons-
1) In case u find yourself single
2) In case ur number 1 is messing up and u need to teach him/her a lesson
3) In case u need an ego boost.
Sounds terrible. I know.
At least someone is being truthful… the reasons tho…. smh..
Someone once said: "A man will never break up with you until he's found
a possible rebound but women don't need to 'find' because they always have a backup, or two, or three"
sigh…
Agree with Gbemi…… There's hardly any girl without a back up plan. That guy u call up when Mr. Main guy is acting like a jerk.
Lol @multi tasking especially when it comes to BBM……. That shit is cray yo
Truth is if most guys would set their pride aside, they would see that they are just back ups but all guys wanna believe their "IT"
For some reason, this doesn't feel like a Toolsman article. Just saying.
:s :s
It is not only women that have back up plans. Men also have back up plans.
Anyway, women do this so that in case number 1 fails you , there is someone else to fall back on. It is that simple.
With anything in life, you must always have a plan B, C (if you can manage it), D ( if you are an expert), etc.
Why? At some point we all get to that stage when we start thinking about marriage and looking for people with potential. For women, its a lot harder cause there's the whole time and biological clock thing going on, so we can't afford to put all our eggs in 1 basket…hence the back-up plan. If Guy 1 fucks up today, move on to guy 2. Simple!
Having a back-up plan doesn't always mean you're in a relationship with 5 people, it could be you being in a serious relationship with 1 person….and indirectly telling the other guys….'if it doesn't work out with this one, I'll be crying on your shoulder'
This sounds like a recipe for disaster… there's a reason you got with that number 1 guy right? Anyone can 'fuck up' but you chose him ahead of the other most likely because he's the best of the lot.. if you now end up going back to one of the guys you left behind in the first place, isn't that a problem?
If I go back to one of the guys I left….it means Guy 1 and I didn't work i.e the relationship ended.
Some girls get sexually involved with their back-up plans, as far as I'm concerned that's an excuse for being a hoe, and thats a recipe for disaster.
its possible that you got with guy no1 because he is the best of the lot but then, someone else comes along and you're thinking 'okay cool back up" cos you know he could have been no 1, hence when Mr no1 fucks up (like they always bloody do), you tell him to take a hike, on to the next best thing Mr Cool Back up
someone once said, if you have a second guy (Mr Cool back Up), then you should choose him cos if Mr no1 was all that you would need Mr Cool Back up…….#GBAM
Who cares what number on the back up plan lsit I am? As long as I'm getting a piece of the *ahem*, I'm fine….well unless I already have genuine feelings for her, them it might get awkward at times. I've been involved with more people's girlfriends thand I'm proud to admit, and I've come to realise, women always want to have that insurance even when they are deeply in love. Oh and they are superb at multitasking…I know this!
Yeah, when the feelings come in, you'll definitely care.. your ego will knock on your door and tell you – You Care.
I couldn't help laughing out loud at work! People are so fickle nowadays its hard (and almost always a recipe for disaster) not to have a backup plan.
However, if ur backup plan has a backup plan, the problem is not the plan, it's you.
Hehehehehehe,awesome article man!
reading it, just made me realise how I have always almost had back up plans. honest truth is I can't tell you why,I suspect it varies for each individual. for me maybe its because I have never found all those qualities in one man,so you keep one man for his looks or his money or his dance steps or his cooking skills or his shagging skills or his business sense or his street sense etc.
besides men have put us in positions such that back up plans are a must have!
Is it possible to find all qualities in one person?
Dance steps tho…. Lord help us…
sorry,was laughing so hard,didn't know I had sent earlier comments without proof reading.
I found this mildly amusing in a snide "i'msuchadumbschmuck" kinda way COS last year I chatting with a 'friend' bout a guy we both knew & I was telling her how I thought I might be 'special' 2 him cos we'd chat every single day at length &, as at that time, barely ever fought. I couldn't imagine that this was happening with multiple chics…unless he was a REALLY good player. Well, my dear friend promptly advised me that long distance be damned we were obviously in a relationship no matter what anyone said. A couple of months later THEY were officially dating!
I was clearly back-up plan # "GodonlyknowswhereIwasonthetotempole". So, I wonder, am I the only chic in the universe who role reversed?! I swear I aam not equipped 4 this minefield called 'relationships'.
In these days of "advanced computer technology," it is imperative that you get the best "PC" your "money" can afford. However, possessing it doesn't entirely protect it from "unwanted viruses", "occasional crashes" and malfunctions.
As a result of these, it is NECESSARY to "back up" such systems as a pro-active way of maintenance. You operate the "system" with the mindset that someday, it may crash and you'll need to "recover"…at such points, it is the "saved back up" that comes to your rescue.
Once the system is up and running with the present "back up", you must take care to perform subsequent back ups as days go by. It will however get to a point when this system and its back ups sucks…signs it's time to get a new system.
Back up's have been saving man since way back when the first Operating system Earth 1.0 malfunctioned and the Chief Operating Officer had to wipe that OS with a flood and begin anew.
Back up your system regularly is all i'm saying…oh! and try to stay Virus free
Lovely
iLIKE
Tools, I saw wat u did there O!
@Emeka = Food + Attention about his business. . . Subtle buh I saw it ;(
Buh it's d multitasking ability dey possess that I envy O. It sure helps dem adapt in dis world of 'chopping & cleaning mouth John Does'.
Common answering phone while Radio is on is already an Issue.
Well, we can "I'm a Bad Guy" all we want, it just boils down to upping your game & moving up on dat Mugu_Count_Table_thingy.
lol!!! i know a few of my friends who have 'backup's' ready just in case…… and as ridiculous as it may seem Gbemi's reasons sum it up…
for me, it's just waaay too much… i'm a 'draw-the-line-and-know-where-you-stand' kinda person…
I've bin a backup plan b4 and i hav backups myself. Its no biggie as long as there are serious feelings involved.
Erm d thing is.. Both sexes r
I TOTALLY agree with this, Ms_aeydem. :|
Sorry bout that.. As I was saying.. The thn is both sexes r guilty of this. Bsyds deyr situations where getting a back up wasn't intentional.. Der was jst dis really nice 'friend" who isn't ur boyfriend buh u tell him stuff, n he "gets" u..he calls u all the time, gets u stuff, knws ur family, ur friends like him n if nt for tunji..ud totly be all up on him.. Familiar rite? Trust me.. EVERYONE has had some1 like that at some point. Its nt our fault..its called self preservation.
"self preservation" buhahahahaha
"Guy/ Woman 1" messes up, then u move on to "back up 1" and when he/she messes up, u move on to "back up 2"??? what happens if all the "back up plans" don't work out? wot next? recruit more "back ups"???
Not all girls do that. Have back-up plans. Knowing u have that tends to discourage one's 100% in a relationship. Sometimes, its best to not to. U know?
Besides, wat ever happened to "living life dangerously"? ¯..(•͡.̮ •͡ )../¯
Girls without backups are prolly not attractive to start with!
Back up plans are very necessary, if no 1 fails, there are others to fill in 4 him. This doesn't mean that I'm dating all of them; it's just they are in an "in between zone"; You have not been 'friend zoned' but you are not mγ boyfriend either. I don't get involved with back up plans unless I've broken up with No. 1.
Too Long.
A back up plan will be mad to feel special enough; this keeps him available and in line ……. Waiting patiently.
@toolsman: clicking in d comment box while typing a comment erases everything that has been typed previously ….. Aaaarrrgggghhhh!!!!!!
The players change but the game remains the same
hehehehe
Unfortunately so. Some of us just don't much care for the game… and yet, we have to play.
I realised at an early age that having a backup is indeed a recipe for disaster.
You won't want to save whatever u hv going just cos there's the alternative.
This is the reason I hv kept my relationship n hv never had a backup plan. My friends call me foolish, I say, do urs ur way n I do mine my way.
Who's gon be my Side Boo?
N.B-Urgent
Well, these days having a back-up plan is almost a necessity, guys for one are most times unreliable and putting ur eggs into one basket, and having them all cracked when things go bad, is the absolute worst. Why we ladies do it
– incase one guy falls out, another on the way
- you might just be a guy's back up plan as well
- most times you can't have everything u want in a man in one guy
- sometimes to deal with heartbreak of the past
- some ladies, their utmost fear is being single, well that's just dumb. But oh well
I don't have back up plans. :-/ I'm usually the back up plan. :-(
I don't have back up plans. :-/
I'm usually the back up plan. :-(
ROTFL
"Every girl has a back up plan"? Please gimme the powder you're all rubbing o, cos I want in. I don't have a back up plan. The only serious guy I have around me is my bf. Shikena
While we are still on the matter I need me like three back up plans:
1. To drive me home when I'm stranded.
2. To be my booty call.
3. To cook for me when I'm hungry.
Thanks.
I can be back up no 2.
Well, I think you should push for a definition if you really like her. So long as you are not yet ready to propose to her, there's no justification for asking her to be Yxclusive to you. If you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it. Until then, we are all single until married.
And if she doesn't feel the same way, collect your ring and go your way.
Here is your answer Tula. Simple and short.
Lol my comment was wiped out. Tula, when will this site be free from hiccups?
wiped out? how? We enabled ajax on the comment to let comments load without reopening the page, we've now disabled that. It should help.
:d
I NEED HEEEELP!!! I dated this babe like four years ago and the break up was nasty, my sisters embarrased her in school and I sent her a very insulting text message which also insulted her mum, her mum had been divorced and I told her she would end up like her mum, it was a very disgusting thing to do then, I loved this babe and i was deeply hurt because I heard she was cheating on me with someone in her school, I later found out it wasnt true. Few months after that, I saw her and I apologised to her and her mum, we kept in touch but we were no longer close. Fast forward to four years later; about a year ago, she met a friend of mine and they started dating, the guy proposed and travelled abroad, it was during this period their relationship began to have issues, we stayed friends all these while but recently we have started dating, she tells me she's over the guy abroad but she wants me to be patient so she can break up with him in person when he comes back to Nigeria sometimes before june but my problem is why she cant just do it over the phone. She knew my mum was around during the break and she wanted to meet my mum so i introduced her, although her mum is against the relationship because she thinks I could still be the same person, the chic sure knows better otherwise she would never date me, I am shocked she wants us to do this again and I am committed 100% not to ever hurt her again. My fears are that I may be the back up plan but do women ever want to meet the mum of their back up plans?