For Colored Men: Pink
’14 years of Pink’ by ********* (Mario)
———————————————-
14 years is a long time.
Growing up, I used to be in love with the television. I stayed glued to the small 14 inch color TV in our living room and disappeared into fanciful worlds where people had beautiful hair that went past their shoulders and super powers and everything ended well. Well, most of the time, anyway. I was something of an awkward child, with an even more awkward name – I mean, who actually names their half-hausa, half-itsekiri child, born in Lagos, Mario? My parents, that’s who. Just them and no one else. I was as much of a boy as anyone else; I loved video games, played soccer, hated girls. Then I turned 13 and my feelings towards girls changed. I didn’t hate them anymore but I never experienced the all-consuming obsession for them all my friends had. Just a mild curiosity about what a vagina looked like. That was all. I’m still waiting for the mad desire and obsession with females that all my friends experienced back then to happen to me. Now, I’m almost 27 and I’m damn sure it isn’t coming.
I’ve been waiting for 14 years.
Some things are ironic, actually a lot of things are. For example, I am from a family of painfully straight people yet by some twisted turn of fate I am a faggot.
That’s right, F.A.G.G.O.T.
Or just ‘fag’ for short – that’s what the less politically correct parts of society call people like me. I could say ‘homosexual’ but that sounds too clean and scientific – like a biological classification or the label on an experiment. I could say ‘Gay’ but the word just evokes images of half-dressed, rainbow people dancing in the streets and having a good time. Neither of these descriptions could be further from the way I feel every morning I wake up in this country.
14 years.
That’s the amount of time I would spend behind bars for any public display of who I really am. It doesn’t change much, being gay… err… I mean…. a faggot in Nigeria has never been an issue of waving rainbow coloured flags in the streets anyway. We are used to being every society’s dirty secret. But it’s a harsh reminder of what this particular society really sees me as – a criminal. One who needs to be quarantined from the rest of “sane” society, kept with his own kind and other filthy people – scum. It would be quite amusing if it wasn’t so saddening.
Do I really deserve to be locked up for 14 years?
It’s human nature to fear or abhor what we do not understand. But our society makes no attempt to understand this “vice”. It doesn’t seek to know, so it can’t. It can’t know that choosing what sex one is attracted to, is about as easy as choosing one’s eye colour or hair length. Hell, do you think I would choose this if I could decide? I wouldn’t choose a life where all I get is to live behind secrets and lies. A life where I’m either going to end up terminally single or married to someone I do not love while I carry on a series of forbidden dalliances. My mother is already asking when I will bring home a wife to bear her grandchildren. No, I wouldn’t choose this. I’d choose to be on the other side of the divide calling for death and imprisonment to the faggots or just ignoring their existence.
Hey, Lets lock up the faggots for 14 years!
Sometimes, I don’t really blame people for being so judgmental. I was raised to have the same values they do and sometimes it’s hard to even accept some people who share the same sexual orientation as I do when they decide to use their orientation as an excuse to rebel against the very fabric of common sense. Their crass behavior, flamboyant promiscuity and attempts at gender bending all make me want to shake them violently and remind them that in spite of how they dress and who they sleep with, they are still men. They perpetuate the disgusting stereotypes that gay men have to wrestle with every day. No, I do not love pink and No, I don’t fantasize about wearing dresses and high heels. No, I don’t want to join a singing group and No, I don’t talk through my nose. It’s all so disappointing but I then again, I don’t really blame them either, not everyone can become as comfortable with hiding in plain sight as I have.
I’ve been doing it for almost 14 years.
I find it comical when people refer to the faggots as some covert, diabolic sect. We are your brothers and sisters, your friends and colleagues. But society won’t understand and it’s not my place to lecture it. I’m no activist or martyr. Just another guy who just happens to like guys. So I’ll just play along with skill as I always have. I’ve learnt that life is all about secret lives and garnished truths. This is especially true of Nigeria, where your fathers and brothers and uncles know and sleep with me in private but denounce my kind in public. In this country we skirt around the truth and use tactful phrases to mask reality. That’s fine by me. I guess I’ve come to peace with it. The lies and the facades will go on, as they have before me and as they will continue long after I am gone. I will laugh at the right jokes. Flinch at the right things. Maybe even throw in a snide comment or two once in a while.
After all, 14 years is quite a long time, isn’t it?
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Hmmmmmm. I wanted a bit more focus on the passion for another guy and I didn't see it. Read more like an argument when a simple description might have been more effective. Maybe it wasn't written out of experience anyway.
Love it!
Oh well!
So what is this, a cry for tolerance and acceptance?
People fear and abhor stuff they don't understand, how do you propose one understands your 'kind' as you so succinctly put it? By expanding your ass or making out with you?
(•_•)
What language is this?
i don't think he wanted u to expand his ass. For starters, you can show understanding by not making a comment like this.
Somebody's pissed. Sense of judgement so clouded with hate that you couldn't calm yourself enough to put up your usual supercilious air and faux literal insight. And then that attempt to regain it below is hilarious.
You want a pat on the head for your writing? Pathetic.
Uhhhhhh….. Controversy!
Didn gimme d zing n amusement from d other stories,it was rather deep 4 me..
Mario u dnt like pink n heels n stuff like dat cos mayb u r d bloke in ur rltnshps.. Abi u r dating a wrestler???
*waves white flag n sings Kumbaya*
LOL
Mind burgling….nice one…makes you wonder
*'mind-boggling'
LMAOOOOOOOOOO! Wole!!!!!
"Sometimes, I don’t really blame people for being so judgmental. I was raised to have the same values they do and sometimes it’s hard to even accept some people who share the same sexual orientation as I do when they decide to use their orientation as an excuse to rebel against the very fabric of common sense. Their crass behavior, flamboyant promiscuity and attempts at gender bending all make me want to shake them violently and remind them that in spite of how they dress and who they sleep with, they are still men. They perpetuate the disgusting stereotypes that gay men have to wrestle with every day. No, I do not love pink and No, I don’t fantasize about wearing dresses and high heels. No, I don’t want to join a singing group and No, I don’t talk through my nose. It’s all so disappointing but I then again, I don’t really blame them either, not everyone can become as comfortable with hiding in plain sight as I have."
Lol even the writer is also discriminating against his own kind. You think if they could help wanting to be effeminate, they wouldn't? If you're trying to come off as being marginalized because you're misunderstood, taking shots at effeminate males does not help your case. *rme*
Exactly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Like. after that paragraph I just shook my head
But then again human beings… we internalize hate,
"hurting people hurt people"
I find your comments funny. Is behaving as a 'slut' normal for the average woman? So why is it that when its a gay man, its all of sudden 'normal'? Sexually offensive behavior is very different from being effeminate. Being effeminate is something I consider a personality trait. Exhibiting "Crass behavior, flamboyant promiscuity and attempts at gender bending" (to quote the author) is not even remotely the same as being effeminate. So sexually offensive behavior from gay people should tolerated because they are the author's 'Kind'?
Plus from the previous monologues, I can safely assume that these narratives are majorly fictional. The author might not even be gay.
*likes comment*
Mario….Id love to get you but I don't.
There is too much focus on self deprecation than there is on what the plot or reason or thought behind this is. You also lose me by the constant focus on the word "faggot". I've had gay friends who I initially feared (would bugger me up) but then I realized they're just people (with a different orientation). If you'd remotely gone to show me the good in you I might have a bit more acceptance for you.
Ps: "No, I don’t want to join a singing group" who the heck says that??
Pps: Comment by "Jemjem" …..seriously was that English?
Lmao!!!yes,honestly, I was writin English… X_x
I think the self-deprecation would stem from the fact that a gay person hasn't quite accepted his homosexuality, and is still battling with feeling 'dirty'. Like he said, his upbringing abhors it, and the values inculcated in our upbringing aren't easily discarded.
Poor mario is confused. I love the way this was written but the message is one Icnt jus identify with. I dunno maybe I jus cnt understand y a man will wanna do another man when i am here :)
but sha, I get that there are many gay people in nigeria, we just like decieveing our selfs. nice post.
Faggot. Gay. Homosexual
All the same. 14 years???
I personally think that's a little time. This post was like mascara under ther rain; fucked.
'Mind burgling'? Seriously? As in this article is like a burglar to your mind?
Na wa ooo…
Anyway, its mind boggling. Wen u'r not sure of d spelling of a word, remember ur friend
Google..
Thank me later..
There's irony in here somewhere :D
Lmao! i believe that can be succinctly termed as shade :D
At the end of the day, my policy on gay people is that they are people too. They have the right to sleep who they want to, it does not concern me in the least bit. When they passed the anti-gay bill, I shook my head because some of the people who passed the law sleep with men as well. There are rumours of Nigeria having bisexual/homosexual politicians, governors, senators, vice presidents and so on but of course in public they are vehemently against it. A true man lets other men do what they want to do as long as it does not affect him.
wow…now this one is a winner! :)
I understand the writer, although I think this could have been written better.
LMAOOOOOOO!!! Preying Mantis ___ So all the other monologues you treated as fiction but the Gay monologue comes up and you forget you're supposed to be a 'distinguished' critic? Hahahahahaha!!!
Ya boyfriend is probably pressing ya nyash there sef. Na who mess dey complain pass.
As for this post, bleh!
Na who mess dey complain pass.
i haven't heard that in a loooong time. hehehehehe
I kinda like the matter-of-fact manner in which this was written. I don't think the writer was trying to invoke pity. I could be wrong sha.
My question is why make a pass at a guy who is obviously straight? I've heard guys tell stories about how they were approached by a gay dude and they always swear thy weren't giving off that kind of vibe. Why get into peoples faces?
Why would a lesbian go and be touching her roommates boobs while she's sleeping? What is it about being gay that makes it okay not to respect other peoples' personal space? Explain this need to get on everybody's nerves please.
I'm a christian, hence homosexuality will never be okay with me. However, for this same reason, tolerance is not the goal. Tolerance, acceptance and love is. No one really wants to be merely tolerated. Anyone who's ever been discriminated against will say that's all they need because they think that's all they can get.
"Obviously straight" I wonder how that works out since even the placard brandishing ones are in the closet.
I don't know where your story is from, but There are people who don't respect personal space, gay or straight sooo yeah…
I see your point
@Prince: perhaps you didn't notice, but I was particular about him discriminating against effeminate men in particular, not sexually offensive behaviour. I was hoping that readers would notice the instances in that quote but I also wanted the context maintained. Nevertheless, I'll further isolate the instance of discrimination in the quote below:
"They perpetuate the disgusting stereotypes that gay men have to wrestle with every day. No, I do not love pink and No, I don’t fantasize about wearing dresses and high heels. No, I don’t want to join a singing group and No, I don’t talk through my nose. It’s all so disappointing but…"
So apparently gay men loving pink and fantasizing about dresses is disgusting and disappointing. Now some of these kinds of actions can and often stem from effeminate tendencies. So in essence he's expressly saying that it is okay to be gay, but not okay to express your gay effeminate preferences, if you have any.
“I find it comical when people refer to the faggots”
I saw that.
Not funny you assholes.
( ˘˘̯)
i saw it too. yea not funny *straight face*
i think y'all are being quite aggressive towards this post. In my opinion, the topic "for colored men", is probably looking into the lives, pain and anguish of men of color, just like the movie "for colored girls" narrated each girl's story of pain and suffering. This post may be fictitious… or not but I believe it simply aims at showing us how THIS gay man looks at life. Shikena! majority of these comments are all products of society's stereotype which is in my opinion narrow-minded. let's not point fingers or place blame, we all have skeletons in our closets, no matter the kind. To God sin is sin and He also said don't judge. i like this post, it made me think and I won't mind a gay bestie though :)
HEYYYYYYYY!!!
*flips hair*
Sometimes, I wonder at the maturity of most the readers at TNC. Age is obviously not a determinant, nonetheless, I'd suggest a 'kiddies' section for most of the readers here, a section where it's all pink and dandy and you can clap your hands. This is a controversial topic, and as such, controversial opinions will be stated. Whether this post is fictional or not, is not the issue and those who even bother with whether it is or not, are myopic in their reasoning.
No one is attacking Maria or Mario, depending on who he's with. He's stated his views as unpopular as they are, just like people are entitled to theirs, stereotyped or not.
There is just nothing natural about a man sticking his dick where shit comes from. Its dirty, disgusting and sad. Call me homophobic, I don't care. The whole gay thing is all about sex. Show me one gay person who is not having sex. So just like some people like threesomes or others indulge in weird fantasies and fetishes, the gay thing is that way. Nobody is born gay. Period.
Urine and period blood leave your vagina though. PERIOD. BLOOD. Even you can't stand it.
???Sent from my BlackBerry wireless device from MTN
Yet you came out of all that blood and urine. Oh, sorry, you came through the asshole. I get it now. Anyway, my opinion is my opinion. Write yours and don't try to make dumb comments on mine. Sent from my BlackBerry wireless device from MTN
I would like to be angry, but your ignorant comment only shows how backward our society is, and that makes me sad.
"The whole gay
thing is all about sex. Show me one gay
person who is not having sex."
Aunty, does this mean that the sexuality of virgins is undetermined? If the whole thing is about sex, then why are gay people fighting to be allowed to marry? Shouldn't it just be straf and go then?
Hehehehe I can see you people just waiting to attack me. Sent from my BlackBerry wireless device from MTN
If you can't see the folly of your own riposte, then I really can't help you. Wade in your period blood stained ignorance. Choke. Die. That's all.
Wow. If you had any idea what discrimination felt like, you'd have held your tongue. Or switched off your BB and computer.
Ouch! Sent from my BlackBerry wireless device from MTN
I think this is a great article. I agree with everyone who's expressed concern about the hateful tone the author uses to refer to his 'kind', yet I think it passes a strong message across: THIS is what an oppressive society does to people. The brainwashing is so complete that even the prosecuted begin to feel like they're getting just what they deserve. If you've been brought up in this society, its difficult to not feel some animosity towards gay people, even if youre one.
Now before you bite me, note that I said DIFFICULT, not impossible. I am sharing my unbiased views here, and this in no way is an indicator of how I live my life. I'm also not making excuses; just trying to understand. As they say: if shit is all you know, then it isn't shit anymore – it's normal.
I guess the point is, instead of focusing on this individual's personal wrongs, we should be more focused on society's influence on why most gay men feel that way, and what we as the emergent legacy can do to change that.
*chuckling*
Quite different.. Its definitely ruffled a few feathers.
Fictional or not shdnt evn arise..
Its just funny,well maybe cs I have a few gay friends et al but really the way gay talk jst always feels like a fly in the ointment.
Gay folks are like every other person. We have straight people that have a weird sense of style(Andre 3000,Kanye,my guy Segs that works at DDB) and we have the gay ones that just snatch the rainbow and wear it…
We have the regular chaps that make a pass at eytn in skirts and those that spike ladies drinks and you have the gay ones that make passes at anyone and also those who give you more than that hair of the dog in your drink …
You don’t see women go all belligerent that guys make passes… Yes some do,but then again its the same thing when gay people make passes,you either agree or you don’t. Could be civil or with a black eye as a memento to remember you by.
All in all,whether in the closet or in our faces,”no be today Ikebe dey back,or bobbi take front seat.”
Using the Christian’s text-the Bible,Sodom and Gomorrah was destroyed mainly because of homosexuality.
So apparently its been around a whole lot longer than us,and its still going to be after us. All that making’t criminal.. Oh well…
We’ll have to deal with it like air… Its here to stay!
@moskeda No one is born anything! No one is born right handed or left handed or ambidextrous. You either learn it or gravitate naturally to it.
@bimbopee Same way he won’t understand why you…
*chuckling* @Sirkastiq yh I guess there was.
I LOVE snails. Some like sausages… Bless
*chuckling*
Quite different.. Its definitely ruffled a few feathers.
Fictional or not shdnt evn arise..
Its just funny,well maybe cs I have a few gay friends et al but really the way gay talk jst always feels like a fly in the ointment.
Gay folks are like every other person. We have straight people that have a weird sense of style(Andre 3000,Kanye,my guy Segs that works at DDB) and we have the gay ones that just snatch the rainbow and wear it…
We have the regular chaps that make a pass at eytn in skirts and those that spike ladies drinks and you have the gay ones that make passes at anyone and also those who give you more than that hair of the dog in your drink …
You don’t see women go all belligerent that guys make passes… Yes some do,but then again its the same thing when gay people make passes,you either agree or you don’t. Could be civil or with a black eye as a memento to remember you by.
All in all,whether in the closet or in our faces,”no be today Ikebe dey back,or bobbi take front seat.”
Using the Christian’s text-the Bible,Sodom and Gomorrah was destroyed mainly because of homosexuality.
So apparently its been around a whole lot longer than us,and its still going to be after us. All that making’t criminal is just in denial..
We’ll have to deal with it like air… Its here to stay!
@moskeda No one is born anything! No one is born right handed or left handed or ambidextrous or heterosexual. You either learn it or gravitate to it.
@bimbopee Same way he won’t understand why you…
*chuckling* @Sirkastiq yh I guess there was.
I LOVE snails. Some like sausages…
@Glory, I think you've taken the writer's comment out of context. Notice that he says "it’s hard to even accept some people who share the same sexual orientation as I do when they decide to use their orientation as an excuse to rebel against the very fabric of common sense." It's not about being gay, it's about using the fact that you are gay as an excuse to misbehave (crass behaviour, flamboyant dressing, etc). A crass and flamboyant person is not appreciated, whether gay or straight. I empathise with the societal pressure to be something which ur entire being cries out against, but such persons need to realise that you live in that society, and to be happy, you need to be at peace with the people around you.
Be that as it may, I agree with @Sir Farouk in that, gay people are just that, people. I don't think anybody would choose to be gay, given the obvious hardships such a life entails. I think people need to learn to live and let live. Homosexuality is not pedophilia, or murder. It is a conscious choice by a consenting adult, not a crime subject to punishment. That's like punishing someone for liking meat, because everyone else likes chicken – Pure hypocritical rubbish.
The writer certainly evoked some thoughts, only that he could've done so much more with it, like personalizing the story so we can understand him. He really doesn't have to be gay to do that.
<ignorance> me i just don't see why gay people are complaining… think of it as 14 years of unlimited buttsecks </ignorance>
I don't have any gay friends. weird.
Just curious, have they actually convicted anyone under this law?
In Nigeria we have gay people in the closet but homosexuality is not our culture. It is in the western world but not here, just as polygamy is against the law there but its normal here. I just think that gay people should be what they want to be anywhere and stop rubbing it in people's faces. If someone does not accept the gay thing, it doesn't make him a bad person, its just his way of life. Still he shouldn't treat gay people badly, there's no justification for that. And you are so right @prayingmantis, some people really need a kiddies section here. People should learn to respect others opinions whether they be harsh or not
I like this post. Let’s just say I could be called homophobic. This post made me think
I totally love this article. It's just honest. There's nothing judgmental about it. Guy, I for like make we hook up. Holla
Best post so far.
Truly controversial.makes one think tho…altho there were some politically incorrect thgs in there..its great
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I dont know what to say, i always assumed anal sex started dis whole gay ish….. Anyway try testing a vagina, u might like it. lol
*likes sapphire's comment* There should be no controversy about what is right or wrong. What God says is sin, is sin! everything God created was good but a lot of it has been corrupted, even sex. Being good doesnt mean you are even pleasing God. alot of evil people do good things. there are all sorts of philosophies and religions today. its all been foretold as a sign of the end time. Only God can judge and that's why he razed sodom n gommorah. so all of you who'd like to lynch sodomists..*pats chest slowly* leave it for God.
Hmmmmph so sad
*big hugs to Mario*
I am not going to be accused of being judgmental
so no comment!