Editors Pick FCM1

Published on July 11th, 2012 | by The Alchemist

134

For Colored Men: White

‘That Dirty White’ by @TTXIII

——————————————-

 “It is a simple matter of discipline.”

 I first said these words to Lara in the toilet beside SS2C as she clutched at her pinafore, straining to regain some measure of decency. I was zipping up my trousers – a particularly difficult thing to do when you have an erection – not unlike wrestling with a hungry alligator. She looked strangely pitiful and her face was a mural painted in several pigments of shame and regret. I later realized that she had been hurt in some primal way by my refusal to have sex with her after we had spent almost 30 minutes kissing and touching and sucking and fingering and licking and…well…you get the idea. After, goading, threatening and eventually; begging and pleading, she had finally given up and asked the first question they all asked when they inevitably came to the realization that actual intercourse was not to be.

“How can you do all that and not want to have sex?”

And so I told her.

I really don’t understand men. Oh, women are easy to figure out. It’s all cat-string theory with them. It’s other men that I don’t understand. This illogical fascination with exploring female private parts with our penile probes just boggles my mind. Maybe this is why I have no close male friends. To hear some men talk, you would think our penises were blackberries and vaginas were chargers. They make it seem like they desperately need to ‘plug-in’ every few hours lest they die.

Ridiculous.

Let me tell you something.

Come on, come closer.

Are you listening?

Good.

P*ssy is not that important.

It really is that simple. Think about it.

No, really…Stop thinking about P*ssy and think about it.

How does inserting your penis into a vagina make you any more or less of a man than you already are? Ok, it feels good. True. Excellent. And so f*ck what?

 Pardon my French and the bad pun.

Don’t get me wrong. I enjoy women’s bodies and sexual exploration as much as any other man but there is just something about ‘going all the way’ and the immense amount of effort the entire male portion of the species spends on it that confounds me. Haven’t you fellows ever heard of the 80—20 rule? Yes, I will get my pleasure but I don’t have to go through a vagina to get it.

 

The final mystery of my manhood is mine to keep

Although the sea of carnal passion is wet and wide and deep

And I am constantly tempted to partake of its feast

I refuse. For in its pursuit, man is easily turned to beast    

 

Some say sex is a basic human need. Just like food. I don’t disagree. If sex is food and abstinence is starvation, then what I am is a vegetarian. I still eat… Just not meat. In case you’re slow, in this analogy, meat is P*ssy and I decided long ago to be a vegetarian until I get married. Now, just like being a vegetarian, fasting, going on a diet, and any other activity that involves resisting food; abstaining from p*ssy is a simple matter of discipline.

“But why?”

Vivian asked me as she knelt down topless, on the floor of my room in Olaomo Apartments just outside the main campus, a strange design of confusion etched onto her pretty face as she slowly came to terms with the fact I was serious about not having sex with her. As with Lara, she had been hurt in a fundamental way by my constant and consistent refusal of her sexual advances and so in frustration and confusion, she asked the second question they all ask. Just as with Vivian, it is usually accompanied by a look that resides somewhere between bewilderment and contempt – depending on how far we have gone or how much I have allowed her do to in her campaign for sexual conquest.

“Why?”

It’s simple.

I just don’t want to have sex.

My virtues may not be pure but being off-white sits just fine with me. I think a little dirt gives my color some character. I am ‘technically’ a virgin and I’d like it to stay that way. Is that really so hard to believe?

Really?

I know from experience that this answer never satisfies anyone and so they start jumping to conclusions and reaching for far-fetched explanations.

Like some of you are doing right now.

 You think I’m a religious nut? Ask Pastor Tosin when the last time he saw me walk through the gates of his church was and you will hastily review your reasoning. And no, I don’t believe in soul-ties or spirit-links or ghost-ropes or wraith-threads or any of that other bullshit that these modern day Pentecostal pastors use to preach abstinence to sheepish young children. I don’t have anything against those that do believe in these things, I just don’t believe in them myself.

You think I’m Gay? Ask Nike’s nipples or Tolu’s thighs or Bisi’s breasts or Halima’s hands or even Mosun’s mouth. Again, you will review your thinking. No, I am not a homosexual. I love women; I love their minds and their bodies. What I do not love is their attendant wahala. But that has little to do with my decision. In fact, very little has anything to do with my decision at all. I just don’t want to have full-on sex until I’m married.

 

Like a sailor plotting a great expedition

Into my beloved sea I make many small excursions

But I never sail too far from the safety of shore

Until the day will come when I sail away to return no more

 

I have done many sexual things with many women. But the actual act of intercourse is one I have stayed away from and I always tell them up front – it won’t happen. Flirt with a woman and she instantly thinks all you want is sex. Take sex away from the equation and she chases after it like a rabid beast. It’s all Cat-string theory. If you say you don’t want to have sex with her, she doesn’t believe you. Then she flirts harder. You play along. She teases. You press advantage. But when the final moment comes and she thinks she has won, you withhold. And she is shocked.

Errr… Madam, why the surprise?

Facial expressions change and then the questions start to come.

I get tired of answering the questions.

If I were a lesser man, I would enjoy the confusion on their faces. They always ask themselves even harder questions after asking me and receiving answers that do not satisfy them.

But I am not and I do not.

I feel bad for them. Struggling so hard to comprehend and yet approaching the matter from the completely wrong direction.

Funmi had that familiar look of confusion on her face last week Saturday at my bachelor party after I finally liberated my seed into her mouth in the guest room. I had pleasured her orally a few minutes earlier and I guess she thought it was just the appetizer so she returned the favor in an attempt to spur me on.

Sorry, darling, you already had the main course.

She rinsed out her mouth and asked me to “finish the job” before I got married to Gbemi and never got the chance again. I politely refused and then that look appeared on her face, making her look shameful and ugly. It was almost as though an angry child had suddenly poured rude paint over what used to be a pretty picture. She was asking herself those same questions they all ask.

“Why?”

“How come?”

“Do I smell bad?”

“Was I too forward?”

“Am I not pretty enough?”

“Should I have held back more?”

“Is there something wrong with me?”

No darling. No.

They keep asking the wrong questions. The question they should be asking is:

“What kind of man will do everything except have sex with me…just because he can?”

And the answer is simple.

Me.

It has nothing to do with them. It has everything to do with me. Contrary to popular opinion, not all men are the same – a lesson many of them only learn to be true when I take them to the precipice of promised pleasure and them leave them there high and dry (or in this case – wet). I may not be a pure and principled man but I am a firm and disciplined one and I have always wanted my wife to be the first woman I had intercourse with just as I know she will be the last. I know you don’t get it but that’s fine by me.

None of them got it either. 

Still, at the end of today when these ridiculously tedious wedding ceremonies are done and I finally plunder the pleasure of Gbemi’s womanhood with a white hot passion, I know she will ask me a question. It will probably be a variant of the same old “How did you manage to keep away from sex for so long?”

With a smile of achievement and satisfaction far beyond the simple euphoria of sexual copulation, I will whisper softly in her ear…

“I’ve told you before, darling…”

It was a simple matter of discipline” 

 ********

 


Tags: , , , , , , , ,


About the Author



134 Responses to For Colored Men: White

  1. The Capoeira Panda says:

    This is unfair. Such good writing.
    In fact, I quit.
    *BreaksBiro*

  2. Lucy says:

    Interesting…

  3. tosinoi says:

    If sex is food and abstinence is starvation, then what I am is a vegetarian. I still eat… Just not meat……………. Love this line.

    Superb writing…….every line kept me going.

    Gbemi is a lucky woman.

  4. thang says:

    Yah!!!!! Finally the post iv being waiting for. First of all are men like this real? As in do they exist……. Pls I’m looking for one oh *sad face* then I always thought and also can’t believe that all men think of is sex. True or false. Anyway I love this post. I love a man that know the 411 but has kept himself……… Nice one

  5. Lala says:

    This is the best write up ever, I love u…

  6. @je_mc2 says:

    Hahaha! The gentleman pervert! Too mad!

  7. tee says:

    Love this! This and 'Blue' are my favorites.

  8. APPLAUDS IN ALL CAPS

    her face was a mural painted in several pigments. . . of shame and regret and disappointment and confusion and amazement and a million emotions rolled up in a 10-minute disbelief period.

    It's just like Fido Dido lifting Thor's hammer or sth, like they cant/wont fathom 'daa ffuqq' just happened.

    STILL APPLAUDING IN ALL CAPS

  9. some girl says:

    BEE-UU-TEE-FUL! GBEMI IS A LUCKY WOMAN

    • TheAlchemist-TTXIII says:

      Thank you

      But lucky? To marry man that has oral sex with another woman the night before their wedding?

      You might want to review this conclusion.

  10. @Sirkastiq says:

    Buahahaham, Efe..no 'hard'feelings ey…

    Meanwhile, it's widely accepted that Wole is a god with the pen (or keypad) as the case may be and this, THIS is just AWESOME! i'm a 'sucker' for wordplay and homie subtly infused them in whilst passing the point across so gently.

    I love this. Watch as the guys claims to be this guy and the ladies crave him

  11. thang says:

    Then for real? Cat-string theory? Lol……..

  12. thang says:

    “Like a sailor plotting a great expedition
    Into my beloved sea I make many small excursions
    But I never sail too far from the safety of shore
    Until the day will come when I sail away to return no more
    “. Then for real? Cat-string theory? Lol

  13. missA says:

    Yay to technical virgins! I love how this post totally explains me while i struggle to explain it to others even when I say "technical or Functional" virgins.
    This is amazing!
    Off-whites rock!

    The writing is soo fluid it aids reading. Absolute pleasure reading this.

  14. tobicomm says:

    Just a thot: What if this character took that freak test?

    He seems like a well disciplined freak to me. Possibly someone with OCD, who is also possibly a contract killer by profession.

    I dont get this kind of discipline though. I have always known that what u dont want to/shouldnt eat, u shouldnt smell. But then again, there are different kinds of humans.

    I love this. Its my best in the series so far.

  15. @munamike says:

    If sex is food and abstinence is starvation, then what I am is a vegetarian. I still eat… Just not meat.

    This line should be nominated for an award!!! Tight!!!

    Good piece, infact Great piece, but its one for the ladies cos we niggars gotta sow our wild oaths before the incarceration called marriage.

    But gotta give the guy some kudos sha, the bros try wella maka na dat kain thing adiro eazyyyyyy!!!

  16. No1chick says:

    This Vivian will probably rape you before you finish speaking all that ‘It’s a matter of discipline’ talk….

    I don’t tell many bloggers this cos I always wanna mean it but Wole writes pretty darn good. Brilliant!

  17. As usual Wole hits a home run….love this!

  18. Deee says:

    Brilliant!!!

    "The final mystery of my manhood is mine to keep
    Although the sea of carnal passion is wet and wide and deep
    And I am constantly tempted to partake of its feast
    I refuse. For in its pursuit, man is easily turned to beast"

    Love this, especially the last line. If I start copying and pasting all the lines i love, I'll just end up copying the whole post.

  19. kAy says:

    Pls he still engaged in sexual escapades too. He still gave a babe head @ his bach eve. To me that’s more intimate than sex n I don’t really envy Gbemi 4 kissing those lips. He just didn’t hv intercourse but he damn well had sex.

  20. jiji says:

    I'm surprised that all girls u came across wanted sex, if there one problem I have wit guys as a lady,is that they can't just kiss u and move on,they want to go all the way,and personally I'm against that.not all girls want to have sex. Hopefully you've learned that now,since u r getting married. And on your catch phrase……its simply a matter of Discipline……..oral sex with bunmi on the night of you wedding? So much for principle and dicsipline. You my friend are a good writer but you are a Hypocrite

  21. @tyminx says:

    I absolutely love this, ThumbsUp τ̅☺ u @TTXIII ……………#TeamAbstinence

  22. thepelicandiaries says:

    yes there are men like this. yes the intense bulid up when exploring a woman's body is priceless when compared to actual plug in. but a woman's body is meat not just the p*ssy. So if you wont go all the way, then don't start. If plugging in doesnt matter then you really aint abstaining in the first place. wanna abstain? explore no other woman's body except your babe. Great write up tho. :)

  23. @iamlabode says:

    one thing i like abt this write is d fact dat t z so real bt few ppl can actually relate to it coz tz a harsh world out thee n every1 wants to leave a mark. wonderful wonderful wonderful write up i must say. thanks 4 takin time 2 put 2geda a masterpiece

  24. sisijacobs says:

    Luurve the writing. Its nice to know there are still male virgins out there, though the bachelor party with Funmi is a bit worrisome; even though Gbemi's gonna be the first and the last, now that the floodgates are opened, will there be others in-between?

  25. siren says:

    Good writer…bloody hypocrite. Flapping about in the pool is ok, but swimming is bad. Nigga sit down.

  26. Meyer Lansky says:

    This is great writing man….two thumbs up….I can absolutely relate to this…but I am yet to meet the man with this level of discipline…..

  27. onyicks says:

    but a person, male or female that is this disciplined should be feared, human beings give in at some point, maybe gbemi was the girl that threatened to break his resolve so he decided to marry her

  28. Tiki says:

    I've fallen in love with TTXIII all over again.

    However:

    1. I think you lose yourself sometimes, with the distinction between full-on (aka penetrative) sex, and other types of sex. Though some types of sex are more intimate than others, in the final analysis, sex is sex is sex. Ask Gbemi if you think I'm lying.

    2. I am not quite sure that what you are portraying is discipline. Some people like foreplay more than the actual act of sex itself. The fact that you let yourself come to orgasm during this foreplay suggests to me that it is more about the foreplay than the penetration to you, and that is not discipline. It's called being a tease.

  29. Kuukuwa says:

    I love this piece. I love the fact that you THINK so much. I'm not sure I'm comfortable with the 'I've got women figured out' 'Cat – string' business, but we're all allowed our little prejudices. And when you are this brilliant, you're allowed to have many more. So I won't let exactly what I think of your cat – string theory. :-)

  30. Gudfella says:

    the Cat-string theory got me, its just a wish for some of us.'Like a sailor plotting a great expedition Into my beloved sea I make many small excursions. But I never sail too far from the safety of shore'. What then is the essence of my excursion or expedition?

  31. Amy Ox_Chambo says:

    LooooooL
    Pareto things

    The only thing that caught me eye in this post
    "Spur"
    Oh no. . .
    I don't wanna see that :|

  32. PreyingMantis says:

    "How does inserting your penis into a vagina make you any more or less of a man than you already are? Ok, it feels good. True. Excellent. And so f*ck what?". But having a woman on her knees while you fuck her in the mouth, makes you more of a man? I suppose so. The feeling of power and control. This man isn't disciplined. This man has a complex. The need to be in control with any woman he meets is apparent and somehow he's brainwashed his mind into thinking, his actions are purely based on discipline and the need to save it all for his wife. This is hogwash. There's no such thing as a 'technical virgin'.

    Another scenario might be that you heard a preview of how you would sound when you climax and it's probably pitiful/embarrassing, hence the need to remain in control and not let it out, lest they flee.

    True discipline is found in abstinence.

    I usually find TTXIII's writing too stuffy and overdressed. Reminds me of an overdressed turkey. His segment on Thursdays is quite balanced. A relief.

  33. So_eXclusiv3 says:

    This here is Superb writing…
    Sex is Sex though, Oral even seems more intimate dan penetrative…+ D xter potrayed prolly has a mild case of OCD…
    D technical virgin ish z sumtin more common in d female populatn, hard to think derz a dude out dere who has done all ds & stopd.
    Double thumbs still…

  34. SlevinCalevra says:

    YES.

  35. Cheshire says:

    One word:

    AWESOME!

    I love you Wole.

  36. hbillions says:

    Such fine writing.

    The use of “Discpline” is distracting though. The Gentleman Pervert is not displined about INFIDELITY, or other similar INDISCRETIONS…only about the use of the PHALLUS in such acts.

    I see several of the commentators here have been “led”, deliberately i’ll say (knowing @TTXIII), to miscontrue this said “discpline” to mean a virtue equal in appeal to “FIDELITY”.

    Such a “discpline” is as easy as can be once you accept that the goal of an intercourse is to achieve ORGASM; and that is all you need and possibly are willing to help the “PARTNER” achieve.

    I agree with Tiki, unlike several of the commentators here, Gbemi won’t be wearing a garland around your neck for all this!

    Lest i get drammatic, in some places and to some people, it is carnal to not ‘lower your gaze” How much more cunninglingus et al?

    Yeah…Discpline!

  37. TheCrankySmurf says:

    First off, this is a good post I must say…good style, good flow and all of that which you know already…

    I personally think you are just as freaky (for lack of a stronger word to use) as the next guy who goes all the way. if you do as much as give head, receive and do all the nasty, you are just as bad as the one who is into penetrative sex only. it is not about what you are penetrating really, is it? it is about what you won't do outside closed doors…its like a "virgin" girl who takes it up the bum on the regs, saying she is a virgin. really? doesn't make sense to me. to each his own anyways….I just think you are a vegetarian eating that which tastes like meat but not the actual meat. *sigh* i hope i'm making sense. :/

  38. Gabbie says:

    Love this! I have met a FEW people, guys and girls that are still 'Techincally Virgins' . As a Phantom virgin myself , it is a tough world out there but hey, we keep holding to our believes. No disrespect to the 'actives' like you, it is just our decision too. Big ups to the writer! Good job!

  39. Max says:

    Way to get everyone buttering your balls, Wole.
    This post is an ode to narcissism, and beautifully written one, at that.
    Nothing do you, sir.

    The last paragraph is the clincher for me. You didn't tell us 'what kind of man', you just told us who the man was/is. Only one of the comment makers called you out on what you're actually doing. Eating tofu burgers to your satisfaction without ever having tasted beef isn't impressive.

    Doing what you want to do isn't discipline, its indulgence. There's nothing you're abstaining from cuz coitus doesn't appeal to you just yet. Call me when you've had sex, you thoroughly enjoy sex, and you decide not to, anymore.

  40. Sheila says:

    LOVE IT…the writing that is…

    but this is far from discipline, it's called confusion

    • TheAlchemist-TTXIII says:

      One mans confusion is another mans Discipline.
      There is quite a lot of subjectivity with definitons.

      Some see abstinence as true discipline. Some see it in sticking to one partner. This fellow sees it as not allowing his penis enter another womans vagina.

  41. @Sirkastiq says:

    When is refreshment gonna be served? :(

  42. The Count says:

    ONE WORD: BRILLIANT.

  43. oluwachick says:

    I AM IN LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Gosh!!!!! dont knw ow u do it TTXIII but am addicted to ur writing! liike seriously< this was a very brilliant piece. just love everyting abou it. it nice to knw there r still guys like this out there (if this is real pls tell him to holla at me :D) its good to knw dat not all guys are interested in sex or thats d main reason they are after u. its gud to knw that some people can enjoy a gud kisss and leave it at that.
    once again, AM IN LOVE!!!!
    Your faithful follower :* :* :* :*

  44. @ThisBoyPerforms says:

    superb writing

  45. damiposh says:

    discipline ko..discipline ni
    why lead them on at all..y didnt yu say frm the start that it was all going to be foreplay.
    the aim of sex is orgasm yes? and you achieve that my receiving head and all? so really what are you now saying???

  46. deevagal says:

    u'r indeed a thinktank…
    great writing! was eating yet managed to stay thoroughly focused on d story
    u'r disciplined or maybe not, maybe as tiki said, u prefer d build up to d actual act
    if you were a bbae, some might call u a tease…

    still, you're a great writer and like i always say, i love ur beautiful mind

  47. sheeby says:

    God bless you for this post. i hope men like this really exist…

  48. afrosays says:

    *Searches from comment from the Mantis*
    Returns to The Cave of Wraith Threads awaiting the emergence of the green dragon.

    Wole. Yes.

  49. Fanta says:

    Nice Post…
    You have what they call male menopause
    Pussy is the Truth except you swing the other way, I understand that some guys are not sexual but then again…

  50. Terdoh says:

    How does one meet up to this?

  51. bimbopee says:

    Wooohhhoooooo!!! I want my own 'white man'

  52. bukiola says:

    I think the character was more of selfish and scared. He did all but ddnt penetrate any other woman except Gbemi. He wanted the satisfaction but no 'emotional baggage'. He tried tho,did it all and yet dd not fall. Kudos(Y)

  53. Jemjem says:

    I read ds late…. I'm lookin for that man!!! He sure is gon b trips to date!

  54. bukiola says:

    By this statement "I may not be a pure and principled man but I am a firm and disciplined one and I have always wanted my wife to be the first woman I had intercourse with just as I know she will be the last" …….will the character in marriage still go out and give head, receive head and do all the nasty stuff but still 'discipline' himself and keep coitus for just Gbemi??????

  55. yetee says:

    My only issue is that u didnt cite the sources, that is , where you have ' Some say sex is a basic human need'. This made it difficult to follow. :I

  56. Busayo says:

    I probably should have read the article before reading the comments. I like but do not love.

  57. Schizophrenic says:

    Very Captivating writting,This has to be the Climax of a month that has seen two male celebrities publicly declare their disdain for Coitus.The Character in this piece is a typical examle of a "CLOSET HOMOSEXUAL".Gbemi should wipe the smile off her face because she just got married to someone with an evolving complex hormone inbalance who is about to find out he might also not like Ejaculating in a Vagina.This is the most Subliminal Pro HomoSexual piece I'v ever read,I commend the brain that conjured this fictitious tale, for it's cerberal content also toes the blurred line of sexual disorientation synonymous to most intellectual&Creative minds.

  58. @St_Gothica says:

    If ever there was a deluded megalomaniac…..

  59. Kiah says:

    Wole oh!!! Yes! :)

  60. Debola says:

    The writing is brilliant, the content however doesn’t do it for me. He sounds like a control freak justifying his peculiarities. The biggest trick the writer pulled off is managing to discredit females so thoroughly and having them applaud him for it. All of you wishing for a man like this…………..u might not like what you get.

  61. MsJulz says:

    In trying to portray just how different he is from other men whom he considers flawed, he ends up showing just how flawed he is as well. I loved that. What's that they say about four fingers pointing back at us when we point at others. The writing was amazing.

  62. Bibi says:

    I made out with some dude once. He gave great head and what not but we didn't have "penetrative sex". His reason: "I'm married".
    The character will most likely do this same thing while married. Thats the highest form of deception I'll say.
    Superb writing, Wole.

  63. Frankices says:

    Seems to me that all the writer did was say 3 things in many diff ways.

  64. awizi says:

    I sort of agree. Sort of. Heck, I agree.

  65. awizi says:

    Brilliant writing, regardless.

  66. Allure Clothing says:
  67. missodun says:

    U just sounded like a sexual sadist….that's not discipline..its being a tease! Although the write up in in itself brilliant.

  68. @tolsbee says:

    Technical virgin? While I'm not objecting that 'discipline' like his do exist, this dude in particular might be gay (or bisexual. he probably is yet to realize it).

  69. For crying out loud…Funmi probably swallowed…aaaaaargh! *throws shoes* If I was Gbemi and found out you even intimately smelled a girl the weekend before the wedding, I’ll have my reservations. Sticking your member in a girl’s mouth till you errupt with plans to stick it to Gbemi (who has probably been waiting without all the technicalities) and hailing yourself for your “discipline” is flawed. You are flawed! Admit it already! *screams*

  70. sapphire013 says:

    He tried o… More dan discipline if u ask me….. Male virgin? Hian

  71. sapphire013 says:

    Na wa o… Y even get d girls horny, its torture abeg

  72. rume says:

    I dnt get d applaud much, I mean d prose was really good but not the premise…dude was having oral sex and cumming steady,where’s d loss dat required discipline?

  73. ini says:

    Lets just say i waited for this post and as usual, i was not disappointed! i will always love Wole’s writing…

    Why do i get the feeling that some of the guys here are angry because the story reminded them of the time a girl refused to go all the way with them (yea….it is mostly girls that do this) e dey pain sha!!!!

  74. beth says:

    Nicely written, but I think the whole idea’s bullshit.

  75. tessadoghor says:

    You done it already
    In the eyes of God that is
    You're just sadistic
    but a darn good writer!

  76. Rezza says:

    Interesting comments…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

Back to Top ↑

Switch to our mobile site