TWO Competition: Top Entries (5) – Mistaken Interpretation.
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Nono – Mistaken Interpretation.
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Now
Aigbe smiled callously as he watched Esosa tumble backwards onto the floor. He thought to himself that she quite looked like a fish out of water – flailing about, reaching for support that would not be forthcoming. His smile very quickly evolved into a cruel laugh as he watched the back of her head crash onto the cold, tiled floor with a sickening, wet sound. Leaping astride her semi-conscious body, he rained three solid blows onto her torso, working his way from her lower ribcage to her sternum. She yelped, shook and choked with each blow, unable to fight back.
“You are the one that will die, not me, Stupid Harlot!”
He spat into her face as the last blow landed and she choked violently, jerking with the impact of the blow and recoiling from the glob of projectile spittle that had hit her face.
“You! Are! A! Mad! Dirty! Prostitute!”
Each word was punctuated by a slap that sent waves of pain coursing through Esosa’s head. She could barely speak or shout or scream in protest, much less move. She felt herself start to slip into a numb blackness but she tried to hold on. Aigbe wrapped his hands around her neck and muttered.
“Witch! Harlot! Your plan has failed!”
Esosa closed her eyes and let the numbing darkness take her as her husband choked the remaining life from her, his wedding ring pressing against her carotid artery.
2 hours earlier
Esosa smiled to herself as she poured the brown powder into the bottle of Merlot. She re-corked it and shook it violently until the powder began to dissolve. She knew Aigbe was already on his way home as he had called her from the airport when he landed. She had everything planned. They were going to have a candle lit dinner, make out a little as she gave the powder time to work, take it to the bedroom and have mind blowing sex. She had only realized how much she missed her husband about twenty minutes earlier when Izien her co-worker had tried to kiss her. She had made the mistake of confiding in him about her marital issue and now he was convinced she should leave her husband and marry him. She had immediately set him straight and asked him to leave. “I have found the key” said Emeka from the kitchen door. She was so startled she almost dropped the bottle. She had forgotten that he was still in the house. He had come to look for a key he said had slipped out of his bunch the last time he visited. “Great. I wish you could join us for dinner” she lied. “some other time maybe. Victoria is waiting for me”he replied as he strode towards the front door. She saw him to the gate and went back in to prepare dinner.
Aigbe received a text from Emeka as the car sped down the freeway. It read “dude! I just left your house. I don’t know how to tell you this but I caught your wife kissing some guy. She does not know I saw them. Also, I think she is planning to poison you tonight. I caught her shaking the wine bottle. I think she put something in it. Be careful o! sebi I’ve been warning you about her. I’ll come over tomorrow. Don’t do anything rash”. He was stunned. He read the text again to make sure he wasn’t making up words. Esosa was cheating on him? He immediately felt a rage he did not know he possessed. At the same time, a song called “omo pastor” by Ajebutter featuring BOJ started playing on the radio. All Aigbe could hear were the phrases “omo pastor, you bring fire to my wood, keeps coming back for more, she’s feeling naughty, finish my shayo, finger lickin”…. He was going to kill the bitch.
2 days earlier
Aigbe stared at the ring as he tried to make up his mind. He was in London for a meeting with a potential investor and things could not have gone any better. A deal had been struck and he was in town for 2 more days before heading back to Nigeria. He wanted to surprise Esosa with a new engagement and wedding band. He had promised her a better one once things looked up and things were looking pretty damn good from where he was standing, “I see the emerald ring has your eye” said the attendant as he brought it out of the display case. The emerald ring had indeed caught his eye as the colour of the stone was Esosa’s best colour. He looked at the price, did a double take, smiled and bought it anyway. He was in a really good mood.
Esosa glanced at the paper once more to make sure she was in the right place. She had gotten the address from the lady at the salon two months earlier but for some reason she had put off going there. Aigbe was out of town and would be back in two days. She planned to have a very romantic night and she was not going to leave the possibility of his equipment working to chance. “Hello! Is anyone around?” she shouted. An old man in a dirty looking tunic came out. “how can I help you?” he asked. “I would like to buy Olokonla” she replied. The lady had told her to say just that. The man went back in and returned with what looked like a brownish powder wrapped in a transparent nylon. “five hundred naira” said the old man as he handed her the substance. She paid and quickly left.
2 months earlier
Esosa smiled to herself as she listened to the conversation going on in the salon. They were talking about a musician whose naked picture was being circulated on the internet. She could not help but feel sorry for the guy. The gist moved on to a guy that sold erectile medicine. She turned in her seat to see who was talking. Aigbe had not touched her for months now. The last time he had tried had been a few months after she had miscarried and he had not been able to get it up. She was very frustrated in her marital home. She knew that if she did not find a way to solve their problem soon, she may be tempted to cheat on her husband. She made a mental note to approach the lady before she left.
Aigbe looked at his watch once more. He was the Managing Director of a failing FMCG company and about a year ago he had been given a deadline to revive the company by the investors. The deadline was fast approaching and representatives from the bank were there to review things. His thoughts travelled to his wife as the meeting dragged on. He would be the first to admit that they were not exactly in a good place. They had lost the baby and the stress from the job had affected the way he performed some of his husbandly duties but hopefully all that would be over soon. He loved her and he was sure she loved him as well despite all the things Emeka had been suggesting. His best friend was so sure Esosa was cheating on him with someone because of their little problem. In Emeka’s opinion, because they had gotten married on a “technicality”, if she was not getting it from him, she was getting it from someone else. Aigbe believed he knew his wife a little better than that but Emeka’s words were not far from his mind. He was jolted back to reality by a nudge on his arm. Apparently they were talking to him.
2 years earlier
Aigbe stared at the ring as what he was about to do dawned on him. He was finally getting married. A part of him wondered if he would be standing there if she had not gotten pregnant but he shoved that thought to the back of his mind. What was done was done. No point crying over spilt milk. He inhaled deeply, picked the ring from the dresser and strode towards the door. It was almost time.
Esosa could not sit still as her make-up was applied. Aigbe had proposed a month ago and they had to rush things because she was pregnant. Her father had almost killed her when he found out. She knew that as a pastor, he would feel shame over her actions but she had not been expecting the disgust she also saw on his face. She thought about Aigbe. In a few hours, she would be his wife and in a few months, a mother. It was all happening so fast but she was happy.
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Kindly leave your opinion and rate this entry on a scale of 1 -10
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Gulp…..read it back to front and back again….
Gulp
think this is one of the best so far. everything is well explained and the writing is smooth.lol.kudos to whoever wrote this
Thank you
The idea behind the story is an enthralling one. The story was finely written – good diction, picturesque description and vivid imagery. However, the back and forth narration marred the story to a considerable extent. I was hoping there would be more to the story as I read on but the end was flat.
Thank you. As to the back and forth nature and “flat end”, this piece was writen for a competition in which the timeline was given and we had rules which all writers had to follow (although some didn’t) or be penalised. I am a stickler for rules so……*grin*.
I am however thinking of continuing the story in a different piece as many people have asked me to. Thanks again.
I just got the drift of the competition. I think you did a great job and you made it work. I will rate your story an eight. Kudos.
Awesomeness is not negotiable. Never settle for less. The flashback technique adopted here sure fulfills it's purpose: the suspense was nerve-shattering! It was a smoot read for me, all the way, but i expected some more revelation. Rating: 7/10.
5
I've avoided reading this for a long time, because of the sad end. I just decided to read it now, and i actually enjoyed it. Thanks. So um…is there a part where he finally finds out he killed her for nothing?? Pls let there be #fingerscrossed :)
I've not read the other articles in this competition, but this one's good. Well done
Nono did an excellent job. I can't help but rate this a solid 9 / 10.
8
BEST so far. Really love the angle the writer took and the clarity of the story. 9.5
Loved the use of the "omo pastor" song and its reference to Esosa being a pastor's daughter
hahaha this is on point. Has Ajebutter seen this? 10
I give this an 8.5, I like the twist a lot, (these nosy friends hm!) anywayyyy i think it's a very well-written piece, holds your attention and is really thought-provoking concerning the issue of jumping to conclusions. Good job
o yes! and I love ur bold use of language, most writers (including me) hold back.