Dear Mrs. Anonymous
I’m sorry Mr. Mantis if this comes across as another rant about relationships but I’m sure you’ll find this interesting.
Every now and then, a female blogger writes a post (mostly relationship inclined) that becomes a hit among our women and for a while you see a lot of them passing it on to us men to ‘learn’ a thing or two from it. Yesterday was one of those days and after I got the same link from three different women, I decided to read the following post.
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(At a table in a candle-lit restaurant overlooking the ocean,man and woman sit gazing longingly into each others eyes)
Man: (taking her hand) Baby, I love you,and each time I look into your eyes I see forever and a day,hold my hand honey,let’s walk this road together,be my wife,have my kids. Baby,would you please marry me?
Woman: (stands up and lands a stinging slap on his face) I knew it!
Man:Babe! you just slapped me?
Woman: I just knew it!
Man: You knew what?
Woman: So it was you?
Man: Me?what did I do?
Woman: (Pacing back and forth,pointing at him)So it was you all along?
Man:Babe,you are scaring me!
Woman: Ha! and pastor said it!
Man: Pastor said what?
Woman: Yes,pastor saw it!,even I(beating her chest)I saw it in my dreams!,so it was you?
Man: Babe!are you alright?
Woman: Keep quiet and let me talk.
I have waited more than two decades,I have prayed,fasted,sowed seeds,bought books and listened to tapes,even went out of my way to be nice to every male specie of marriageable age!
Every saturday was a different mall,I went from the galleria to city mall,from the palms to e-center,looking for you!
I left my “chick-lit-flicks” for sci-fi movies that I didn’t even understand,just so I could learn how to enjoy the things you love. I took up new hobbies,watching football and play station.
I went to Daystar,from Daystar,I went to House on the rock,from House on the rock I went to This presnt house,from there I went to Guiding light Assembly,looking everywhere for you like I was looking for a needle in a haystack!
(Turning around suddenly to face him)
Are you a needle?Did I have to buy a microscope or telescope to see you?
I lost weight,went from a size 14 to a size 10,so that when you see me you’d love what you see.
I took a short course at Lagos business school,worked for all the multi-nationals. I even opted to be seconded to Australia,I said to myself,”maybe he is white.” I came back empty handed!
Then I left Lagos,went to Abuja,from Abuja I went to Port-Harcourt,then I went all the way to Kano, abi?I didn’t even mind if you were “malo!”
I joined hi-five,from hi-five to faceboook,then I went to twitter,I even had a blog on which I ranted,hoping you would show up!for where?
I uploaded only my best pictures on facebook,infact I took photo sessions to look my best,all for you o!
My friends ended up matchmaking me with every Tom,Dick and Harry,at first I didn’t like it,but as I grew older,I embraced it!
I attended all the weddings,whether the invitation was direct or indirect!You know what they say about meeting your life partner at weddings?
The next place I was hoping to check was the moon,before you crawled out,crawled out from the house directly next to mine!So it was you,the neighbour I said hello to every morning?Were you trying to destroy my faith?You almost rendered my prayer life useless?What were you doing hibernating in that house all these while,what were you waiting for?what sign where you looking for
(Man is speechless and confused almost in tears)
(She turns and sits with a mischiveous smile on her face)
I have waited almost three decades for you,and all along you were next door. I have loved you in advance and missed you even more,(She holds out her hand)
Now be a gentleman,get down on your knees and put that rock on my finger!!
N.B: To all single ladies quit looking in all the wrong places,let” the man” find you,it’s his job!
To all the single men,please come out of hiding,the ladies are waiting,and remember, it’s very “ungentlemanly” to keep a lady waiting!
- By Titilope Martins (http://elizabethmartins.wordpress.com)
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Initially, I wanted to do a short and funny response to the original post but then, a famous African proverb says, behind most jokes, you’ll find a very important lesson. As hilarious as the original post was to most (judging by the comments), it’s pretty easy to identify some of the underlying issues that cause all sorts of problems relationship wise, for us in this part of the world. For the purpose of today’s dialogue session, I’ll highlight them and also share my thoughts.
Women are always quick to blame ‘societal pressure’ for most of their relationship/marriage woes. Once a woman is twenty-five and she isn’t in a relationship, engaged or married, then ‘society’ thinks she’s defective (we still spoke about this on Monday). Well, judging from the original post and the comments, if a lot of our women can identify with the woman in the post, then maybe, just maybe, this so called ‘societal pressure’ comes from the women themselves.
I mean I understand sometimes it’s good to take initiative – if you sit around and expect prince charming to fall on your laps, you might just die waiting. But then again, there’s a very thin line between taking initiative and becoming desperate. And I’m sure a lot of guys will agree with me when I say, 30, 35 or not, if you’ve gone as far as trying most of the things the chic in the original piece did, you are desperate! And sorry to break it to you, desperation is not a good look. Men are hunters; it’s in our genes. We can smell a desperate woman two continents away and she comes with a huge label on her forehead that reads “FREE”. I once wrote about the ‘concept of free’ so please educate yourselves.
Second thing I realized after reading the post – unlike most women, men know exactly what is they want. Don’t get me wrong; I didn’t say we know when we want it. When a man finally decides it’s time to get married, or it’s time to get in a relationship, he doesn’t beat around the bush because he knows exactly what he wants. With women, I’ve come to understand that this just isn’t the case. What I’m trying to say is, the force(s) that control demand and supply in human beings, is/are a whole lot more consistent in men.
From sixteen till marriage, looks (and by this, I mean, ASSETS) will always be a strong and constant determinant when men are hunting for women and the truth is, most men don’t drill down. If he’s an ass-man, he looks for ass, not an ass that has natural hair and a mad fashion sense. When he gets older and wants to get married, he’ll look for a woman with maternal instincts. If he has a lot of women hovering around him, he’ll probably ‘pick’ the best of the lot and move on with his life.
With women, this isn’t the case. At sixteen they want the ‘bad boys’, eighteen they want tall dark and handsome (and boy do they drill down – I was once disqualified because I was an inch shorter than expected), at twenty-five, it’s all about money and financial stability. And then at 29, they’ll settle for the next-door neighbour who probably does not meet any of their previous criteria but just because “society” has put them under pressure and by some stroke of luck, the usually timid/intimidated neighbour finally decided to step up to them, they compromise.
I know the original post was written by a woman and as a result, its skewed but lets be realistic, I have awesome male friends who I know will make awesome husbands and fathers but I know they’ll probably never get with the women they fancy the most. This is not because they are not good looking enough or they are not financially stable or they haven’t even made attempts to reach out to these women. The simple answer is, when Mr. Anonymous found her, he wasn’t exactly what she wanted at that point in time or she was busy jumping from one church to the other. If we go back to the original post, the writer alluded to this fact when she wrote :
“So it was you, the neighbour I say hello to every morning”
How often have I heard women write off a dude before giving him a chance? That guy who casually ‘lols’ at your tweets on Twitter, the one who ‘likes’ your Facebook pictures or the one who summoned up enough courage to walk up to you but could only manage a dry joke and just like that, you wrote him off. It’s quite amusing that for all the talk women make about compromising when it comes to men, truth is, most of it is ‘pressure induced’. You might argue and say guys are more tolerating because we think, “At least if I walk away after reaching second base, then it wasn’t so much of a waste” and you won’t be far off. Physical things drive men, it’s how we were made and maybe we should be more thankful for it especially if it’s one of the reasons why we don’t sit around mourning a lost opportunity with (one) Mrs. Anonymous.
****
I don’t know if this is so much of a Wednesday Dialogue post but you’ve read the original post and my response and it’s time to hear from you. What’s your take on the subject of women ‘hunting’ men? When do you cross the line from ‘taking initiative’ to becoming desperate? Use the comment box and speak your mind. Cheers.
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First? Nice!
I totally agree though, half of the women who are not married past a certain age either made a wrong choice early on and can't bring themselves to admit it, or they are too picky. We women complain men have checklists, when we have ours too and are even more rigid about them! The happiest wives and girlfriends are those who can differentiate between what they want in a man, and what they need.
Second! I like this!!. A desperate woman can do many silly things in search of Mr Right, but the natural law still demands you let a Man find YOU…
Nice one, Once knew a woman who changed religion like 5 times to find husband, I'm all for women taking the initiative but like you said there's a very thin line between taking the initiative and desperation sometimes there is need to just chill and let happiness find you. What is for you will always com to you even if it travels round the world first.
I don’t believe this ‘what is for you would surely come to you’ theory.. I think its for lazy people. Sit down and cross ur arms and wait for what’s yours to come. You would end up waiting forever. In as much as I support the whole ‘go get yours’ atitude, I must say desperation is a very ugly trait.
Working towards getting something you want and being deperate are two different things. Finding a patner would not be so hard if women could make up their minds on what they want and understand that getting a man is not a do or die affair.
Thank you! that 'what is yours will be yours' thing is pure utter rubbish meant to comfort the lazy and the spineless. Nothing good comes easy.
And girls need to stop being so darn choosy! throw away that blasted checklist (after memorising it, lol)!
Nice response to the original post. Though funny ‘cos I couldn’t stop laughing, I was wondering why she did all those things because she was looking for a man. Well, I can’t blame her because of the kind of society we live in, where they make one think there’s something wrong either with oneself or its spiritual(like in her case when she started going to church&all). I can’t but agree with you.
Taking initiative is easy for me. i like u. do u like me? yes?? no??? we either move on from there OR NOT! (not like anyone says no to me) but it saves me all the guessing. However, me telling him i like him does NOT mean that i asked him out. He will do that all on his own or i will move on. Simple.
LMAO. The “Dear Mr. Anonymous” post is very funny. Anyways, yesterday, I was talking to my friend about something similar. He told me that when women “hunt” men, they come off as desperate. And when a woman is desperate, a guy will take advantage of that.
I think it’s okay to have what you want in mind but be open. For me, prayer is very very important. And even after praying, you need to chill and put everything in God’s hands. Don’t take it to an extreme. Don’t be too passive & don’t be too aggressive
Dazz rite. Be passive-aggressive
And yes. Society does put pressure on people to get married. On Saturday, I went for a wedding. It was a family member’s wedding so I did a lot of walking around. Many parents were with their children and aunts and nieces. Same story. “It’s your friend that is getting married. When will we do our own”.
Also when I was talking to one of my older family friends, I was telling him about a guy I had met and I like. Next thing he asked me was: “do you see yourself married to someone like that”. Bear in mind that I’m just 15 and I’ll be 16 by the end of this year
I burst out laughing when I got to the end! You are just 16? Gosh, if I even hear my second follower (who is 21 and graduating from the Uni this year) mention marriage, I'll be like "Child, are you mad?"
ps.kindly resist the temptation to guess my age :p
16!!!! Wow Bahahahaha. They had to be joking
Stil laughing at the original post…such a drama queen….to the ladies, present urselves well(grooming & all), & make urself available, the whole hard-to-get thingy don’t work no more, guys will just move on(& by available I don’t mean fuck arnd)…
And am I the only one that thinks the original post is not funny?
No, you are not.
+1
+1
Not even. I sat here straightfaced throughout.
I didn't even realize it was meant to be ( ._.)
By the way, I dont think men know what they want more than women do. To me the only reason why they are more flexible is (1) They know the lady will toe the line once married, as in, become whatever they want, and (2) They know that they are more likely to be forgiven if they have a side chick who gives them what wifey can't or won't.
Women on the other hand, know that what you see is what you get. Plus you have to allow for depreciation.
"They know the lady will toe the line once married, become whatever they want" <— Did you actually write this? An no other woman her picked this up? Is this not a problem?
The second statement is even worse.
So these are the reasons why you "think" men "seem" to know what they want?
I don't even know where to begin with this.
What's there to pick on? It's the honest-to-goodness truth. Ask any married couple you know. THe person who adjusts most, or who pays the highest price for not adjusting, is the woman. How many women/mothers do you know who behave the same way they did as when they were single and have remained married? and how many men.
And like I said in the first sentence, men dont know what they want before they get married. Because they don't have to. Whatever it is, whenever they want it, they'll get it.
depreciation? toe the line?
I thought stereotypically, women pretend they r happy with what they have got and once they get hitched they try to change the man.
Ah, trying to change a man is akin to being dumped in the sea, and trying to swim. You can't just lay there and do nothing.
Depreciation in the sense that the concern the man has for you(I wont say love) usually diminishes over time, when the newness of the love is gone.
Toe the line as in, you do what he wants, or resign yourself to a life locking horns. Or separation. Or divorce.
The day they would sit still and be themselves (the way they are wired to be) the world would be a better place..there are lots of fake people around. I believe original post and response are hitting on same point.
Hummmmmmm true talk I must say dat societal pressure is just 2 much in our part of the world , we tend 2 forget marriage is not meant 4 evry1 sum of of us will never find d one either because we are in the wrong place or because what we ar looking 4 does not exist. I have noticed no matter how desperate you are it will not make God do today what His set to do 2moro so why not just enjoy yourself on the way 2 were you are going. and pls may I ask Is there really a mr rite or mrs right ? Cos I think when the desirable is not available you make the available desirable
My Advice enjoy yourself , Love yourself , look good for yourself , take good care of yourself . D worst that can happen is he or she never shows up. if its meant to happen trust me it will find YOU , either ways stay happy you owe yourself that much
I am 24. Since I turned 20, my parents have been on my case. They tried subtly to confronting me to actively praying about me finding a husband. Got the Imam of my mosque involved to help me find a husband. The imam went on to try and introduce me to potential husbands. I stopped going to mosque for this reason.
Conversations with my mum
Mom- I spoke to Mrs A today, she is in the US
Me: really thats good. How is she
Mom: she is there for a wedding
Me: ok
Mom: she asked me if you had a bf and when your wedding is so she can come attend the wedding
Me: I havent seen Mrs A since I was 10 so what is her concern about my relationship and my wedding.
Mom: dont be rude she just wants what is best for you
Another Conversation
Me: I dont get the deal about big parties (this was following her friends 50th), Maybe it is age. when I turn 25, I wont be doing anything major
Mom: good. At your age you should be planning your wedding and not 25 birthday. (huh?)
Finally (my favourite)
Mom: Mrs B’s 16yo daughter is pregnant
Me: the same one, she has barely finished college. Wow, I feel sorry for her mum (the girl is trouble juvie and have spent a few nights in jail before)
Mom: Actually, her mum is happy and proud of her. It is not a bad idea to get an early start with these things. Not evryone is dragging their foot with precreating like you are. Tick tock
In what planet is the life of a juvie who got knocked out before Uni better than a self sufficient girl who aced sponsored herself through uni, never been in trouble and has a good job? I love Nigerians!
PS- my mum is educated. I wonder if wen my mum meet my bf (yes I have one), she might be like welcome u. We have been waiting for u, prayed, fasted etc. No grilling guess who style.
I love ur mama!!! Buhahahahahahaha!!
She doesn't know wat subtle is.
Oh dear.
Wow…
Thanks. I have decided that if I am singly by the time I turn 30, I will move to China or Australia. I know my family dont have many friends there and wont come over too frequently esp given the distance lolz.
Either that, or I place an advert for someone to come adopt me. Prbly not, I might miss the drama
Your mum is just like mine. I remember some of my convos with her.
Mum: (Convo on phone) So that was it o! The marriage was very lovely. Even the wife sef was breathtaking.
Me: That's good, I wish Femi (the married dude) a lovely married life o.
Mum: Is that all you've got to say?
Me: Ahan mumsie, what else should I say?
Mum: Seunfunmi do you think you are getting younger? All your mates are married and you are still out there frolicking with everything in skirts.
Me: Shuo mumsie, e tun ti bere o! What again now sef ha! Shebi popsie didnt marry you until he was 30. I'm still 27yrs old, why the hassles.
Mum: (She raises her voice a pitch higher) Is your dad's a yardstick for yours? Ehn answer me!
Me: Mumsis, I dont have time for all these jare, I will call you later………..
PS: My mum is also educated. I just do not know why they keep hassling and harassing us into stuffs like that, when it is obvious that when you are in it, there's no getting out.
Gosh! And I thought my mum was bad. Your mum is as subtle as a sledgehammer! lol
LOOL!
Maybe I should start appreciating the fact that my parents are SO chilled..
@amebo’s frenemy, Lolllll
I don’t know which I enjoyed more, your mums frontal assaults or your defence/responses!
Classic!
Women! Just be yourself and the right man will come. shikena.
@ amebo’s I feel u big time its is well
That first story was totally hilarious!! But slapping d guy was too much Abeg.. I’d prolly do all dat drama sans the violence at our honeymoon… Jus to let him kno how his dulling affected my life..
Women doin d chasin always intensifies d desperation.. I hope I dnt get to dat point in my life,unless he is my exception to d rule,darn!! I’ll take my chances!!!
Havin persistent men runnin after u can hv two effects,if u r downright nasty,I’d as much as get a restraining order for u..but if u r not..ur persistence allows me to see things I may hv missed before n if we r lucky,we’ll hv a happy ending..
That said..pls “DearFutureHusband” don’t dull me…
LOL the “Dear Mr Anonymous” post though! Tf? That woman was just all kinds of crazy! If there’s a word higher than desperation that’s what her case is. If I was the guy self after she has finished yarning all that 1 I can like to run away, someone that did all that just to find her soulmate would surely do whatever it takes to keep him even if it means doing things that are not exactly sane and that’s scary (obssesion comes to mind). Anyhow I really don’t get why people are yarning that its lazy people that would say what is yours will come to you regarding men, Its not like the statement means you should literally sit at home and watch the clock waiting for Mr Right to show up at your doorstep, it just means you shouldn’t CHASE the men!!! They should do the chasing instead hence he’ll come to you not you going to him (you’re not being lazy sisteh). Sorry for my long speech x_x #OkByeBye.
@Dazzle, pls why can’t a woman make passes @ a guy she like ? Its dose not make her less of who she is pls correct me if am wrong dis is 2012 ooooo
LOL. There's nothing wrong with a woman chasing a man, it's just very funny. Loads of Naij women do it
Somebody tells the truth! Thank you!
I think it's hilarious when women hunt men. Yes, you can say the Beijing conference sorted that out for you and opened your eyes, it's still hilarious. Yea, it can also be fun and flattering for a while but it also reeks of desperation. It also becomes worse if she isn't one's type.
Taking the initiative is a subtle and sometimes direct form of desperation. It's just semantics here. A woman's taking the 'initiative' because she feels the guy will drag his feet and she can't wait. Her impatience is a sign of desperation. See my point? Good. But what had she been doing all along? Waiting for the myth called 'Mr. Right', setting standards her dad, brothers and even she herself can't meet. And when she's 28, she starts running helter skelter with a frustrated face, expecting a miracle to happen.
I really don't get why women get off being choosy, one day they'll wake up and realise, they've reached menopause. You women do yourselves a lot of disservice.
Bottomline: Miracles don't happen to frustrated faces.
The first post was amusing. Kimeclectic must be reaching menopause.
LOL.
I like!!!
"Miracles don't happen to frustrated faces."
Well said PM. A friend once said that instead of seraching for who you want, you should focus on making you into who he/ she wants to be with. Reminds me of the double standards post
Wait!! What?? LOL
Desperation is understandable and justifiable when you've reached a certain age. You can't afford to have a criteria and you feel it's necessary to hunt down a fellow and possibly settle for less. Its only natural for guys to be freaked out by desperate women, unless the fellow is desperate. Patience is one hell of a virtue.
Been thinking about marriage a lot lately, and I'm just putting everything into prayer and God's hands, all guys that are not sweet with bad intentions should clear road.
Oh and Toolsman have you come out of hiding? Haha
Understandable? Justifiable? Why? If your life long dream is to get married, you think if you become desperate enough and end up in a shitty marriage, you'll live that dream?
Correct, men are not 'freaked' out by desperate men, they prey on them. It's FREE meat.
Btw who/what was I hiding from?
I'm not saying I will be desperate or hunt for men, I have too much pride for that. But I understand why women do it, the older you get, the harder it is for you to find a man and the harder it is for you to have children. If you find a good guy at 33, he may not be Mr Perfect, you may not be head over hills in love with him it doesn't mean u'll have a shitty marriage, but at least you'll have a family and that's better than being alone. Of course desperation is understandable.
Men who are not serious and don't have good intentions would prey on desperate women? If a dude just wants to brap and a babe is talking marriage, are u saying he won't run? Maybe if the babe is hot.
desperation is NEVER justifiable. Just b happy with yourself. If you think or suspect your approach to marriage is wrong, seek someone's opionion (trusted frn of opp sex, self help book, or trusted clergy, consellor and so on) but NEVER be desperate.
That's easy to say when you're not in that position. Try telling a 36 year old woman to just be happy with herself and she can always adopt children. Right! I'm not saying marry any guy, but you can't be picky is my point
if u r single at 36n you really want to, you would have adopted a kid by then or started the process. If you are aware of your options you havent then someone telling prbly wont make a difference
If women were less desperate, they would take more time to know a guy before they married him, there would be less unhappy marriages, less cheating, less divorcing, less physical and mental abuse, and more children would grow up in happy homes. Desperation may be understandable, but it is never justifiable. IMO, the cons far outweigh the pros.
well said
Loool @D slap…
Cudn’t finish reading thou… Too long a post…
Errrmmm ladies shld take a chill pill o jarey… Weneva it’s best he wud come :)
<_<.. if it was a wet friday post, you'll finish it though…
I pray everyday for God's strength, help me be happy and fulfilled. I also, ask him to stand by me through trials and tribulations so that I am not clouded by depression or desperation or any other things/ people that might hinder my ability to resolve it.
I dnt get why plp would open dier mouths n say women re too choosy. Must dey settle for someone dey dnt like?
Dear woman out dere pls be choosy for as long as you like and as long as you are happy. If he doesn’t have d perfect white teeth and u can’t compomise pls don’t settle.u re d one who will see d brown teeth everyday for d rest of ur life.
Being happy is d key word. Watever choices you make, make sure you are happy with it and can live with it.
You'll still end up in MFM.
Why can't you marry him with the brown teeth as you say and clean it up during marriage. At the end of the day, you are married, that's the point.
@PreyingMantis, men dnt settle for women dey will clean up.Dey pick d readymade one from d lot so why can’t women do d same? Why can’t dey pick d best dey like?
And this is why the village girls continue to get husbands because of the error in your logic, while city girls continue to fast and pray. A man will clean up a woman if she's what he wants. A man isn't hell-bent on 'ready-made', as long as she's got the basic skills. For a woman, it's different and this is the reason why there are too many desperate women in their 30s, willing to do anything to become a Mrs.
Women should get off their high horse and make their checklist realistic. You eliminate a prospective suitor because he's got brown teeth? How about your stretch marks? How do we fix that?
Yup! Everybody, men and women alike, should differentiate between what they want and what they need? Brown teeth is just frivolous. Get caps. Mouth odor though…that's another story! lol
Hey Mantis, being married isn't the point for all. Being married to the "right" person is the point. Whether this happens is story for another day…
Apparently choosiness is a gender specific crime. Ass-men and breast -men too are calling women choosy. Give women a break now, they're allowed to have preferences too. We seem to forget marriage is not a friendship, where y'all meet somewhere, have fun and then go home at the end of the day. There's intimacy involved and you have to live with the person. I happen not to be a whole lot of men's type. No hard feelings. No one should have to apologize to anyone for not being attracted to them. Having said that, I think people should be reasonable with their expectations. There's only one Idris Elba in the world and he's probably taken.
Someone once said marriages break not because of the things people can't live without, but because of the things they can't live with. What is it you can't live with?
One last thing, when women 'compromise' at a certain age, its not always out of desperation. It could be maturity; a realization that some of the things you thought were important are not so important afterall.
I like that last sentence. In that case it isn't compromise though. Your priorities have shifted, is all.
“The happiest wives and girlfriends are those who can differentiate between what they want in a man, and what they need.” I loved this comment. I learnt a lot from it. Until you find what you “need” in a man, don’t settle. Or you would just end up unhappy.
Guys! You pple stay confusing us. Only you pple say girls are always sitting down and letting y’all do all the work, and this is the 21st century. Yet if the girl does some of the work you say she’s desperate. There’s no pleasing you people.
Personally, I like, no, I love to be chased. I find that a girl who starts of chasing will always be the one chasing.
I don’t judge girls who take the initiative, some guys are really slow, and some of em need a little shove. Desperation is a NO! It is never that serious.
I still maintain we should have a TV talk show series on this topic. Titled “Now You Know Why You’re Single.” Comments and discussions on this are too long for comments. Tula nice thoughts. :)
Personally, I dont see anything wrong with women taking initiative, however I think a certain restraint is necessary so as not to appear desperate. Taking initiative should not be to the level of church jumping and so on, it can be as simple as smiling and being friendly to men you meet and doing this early on. Sometimes in an attempt to play hard to get you just chase away some of the good men and retain the bad ones who are determined to breach your walls.
Guys the truth is find what works for you pray and hope for the best very marriage has its regrets, hopes , compromise ,love story and all . D truth a lot of us never end up with our mr perfect cos you can never have it all in 1 package u give 1 in other to get the other
One truth-A man should do the searching.
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I got down on my knee.
Proposed with a ring. A ring I probably sold my deep freezer to buy.
And you slapped me?
Slapped…
Me…
No!
Are you mad? I’m sorry. No. I’m not putting any ring on your hand. Ode. You think it’s funny.
"The simple answer is, when Mr. Anonymous found her, he wasn’t exactly what she wanted at that point in time or she was busy jumping from one church to the other." + Whatever it is, whenever we want it, we'll get it.+ scream's post…gbam*
The parable of The Lost Coin – Luke 15 vs 8-10
Being Complete, and knowing what you are looking for.
First of… The”dear mr anonymous” post was basically hypothetical. Not saying that there aren’t ladies and men alike who go through all the stress in trying to find the right partner. But I’m sure the blogger meant it as humor and not necesaarily that it happened in reality.
That said… Both men and women have no clue what they want in a spouse. Many of us claim we do but honestly we don’t. A lot of us don’t even have the foggiest idea why we wanna be married in the first place. People marry for different reasons. I’ve heard ppl who marry just becasue they wanna have fine kids. Some others marry to please family members and some others marry because some people are of the school of thought that if you are not married then you are not responsible.
Marriage is not for everyone. The earlier some people admit to this truth the better. That notwithstanding, a good and successful marriage takes HARD WORK. No matter how handsome, pretty, rich, tall, ibo, efik or european the couple is, if they are not ready to put in the amount of work required to make marriage work then they might as well stay single.
Men and women alike all have their prejudices. Lets just learn to be better, be more selfless and honest, and be the change we would love to see in others.
GOD Bless u well said
@maxyaxy- truly well said, am also of the school of thought that marriage isn’t for everyone. Its a lifetime commitment, and its definitely not something you should get into if your not ready for it. The societal pressure in this part of the world is just really crazy
This can only b fiction. For all you ladies thinking of doing same, this is what reality looks like.
Man: (taking her hand) Baby, I love you,and each time I look into your eyes I see forever and a day,hold my hand honey,let’s walk this road together,be my wife,have my kids. Baby,would you please marry me?
Woman: (stands up and lands a stinging slap on his face) I knew it!
Man: Babe! you just slapped me?
Woman: I just knew it! (Not even an apology)
Man: you know what? Don’t be angry, don’t vex…
He would jejely withdraw his proposal. He won’t even stay to hear all those sob stories. Except he of course also has family members breathing down his neck.
Nice post,
it is very well written
I also reacted to the original Mr. Anonymous…..
http://www.richiemuddy3.blogspot.com