Published on June 17th, 2012 | by thetoolsman20
Dear dad, the first time I really noticed your absence was when I was around 3 years old. It was at the annual Christmas family funfair. I was curious because the other kids at the play school had 2 parents beside them in the group family portrait but I only had mum. It didn’t faze me, knowing you love me and you would be here if you could. I just actually ‘noticed it’ for the first time at that party.
Fast forward, five years later and I am in primary 4 now. We have the father-daughter dance today and you couldn’t make it, but I totally understand. I know you won’t miss the next one as your love for me is undying. Not to worry though, mum is doing a good job in this suit she bought, although she dances funny. I can’t contain my giggles when she starts to do her ‘Moves like Jagger’ dance. Dad I know you are a way better dancer. Please come home soon, and show her how it’s done.
Dad, I am getting really worried. I need you to be around more. Mum’s mood swings are becoming unbearable. You need to have seen the way she was crying when she dropped me off at the boarding school today. I was quite embarrassed. Between the tears ruining her makeup and the hankies she used to dab her face and ruin it further, she kept on mumbling
‘You are not alone, baby. You are not alone’. Yeah, I know mum has her fair share of drama, but it’s getting a bit much. When are you coming home, dad?
I really need to tell you something, dad. I don’t know how to tell mum as she seems so on edge these days, but I know you will understand. It’s about a boy. He is one year ahead of me in school and he says he likes me. I think he is cute too, I think I have a crush on him (I am so embarrassed). Dad, I am just 14 years in SS 1, do you think I am too young to have such feelings? I am sure you would throw back your head and burst into laughter at this, but just don’t tell mum. Dad, I don’t know, but she cries a lot these days especially on your wedding anniversary which falls on Valentines’ Day. I know you send her gifts like the ones you send to me but she changes it to her name and I don’t know why.
Mr Sam Giwa, I am really upset that you were not at my matriculation. Its a major step dad, least you could was to be here for me. I know you wanted me to study law like mum but I love maths and physics so I’m going in for engineering. Is that why you are not here? Or are u upset because I am not a boy? I am a tomboy just so we can click and I can understand you but you are not open to me. Like the stars, you are distant, dad and it hurts. It hurts a lot.
It is not as if I’m not ecstatic about the proposal Derrick made at my surprise graduation party but I wanted you there as well. My joy would have been complete. I graduated from the university with a second class upper in Aeronautical Engineering. Yes, dad. Same field as you, I am sure you are proud. Dad, I love Derrick and but it is not as strong as what I feel for you, so don’t worry you have no competition (smiles).
Its 8 a.m., this beautiful day with light rain, ‘Showers of blessings’ murmur the older guests around. If you are not here before Uncle Soji walks me down the aisle, then I would accept what mum has being telling me for the past 24 years; that you have been gone since the day I was born in a car crash on your way to see me your jewel Samantha.
I know you are gone and never coming back but watching over me from above. Dad, waiting for you has been exhausting. It hurts, dad but I’m finally letting go. I know you will always love me like I have loved you all my life.
Dad, it’s June 17th it’s Father’s day. I chose this day so I can remember it as my wedding anniversary and as your day.
I miss you and I will always love you.
Thanks to Moyoor for sending this in. It’s unedited and she’d like your honest feedback. You can also send in your short stories to editor [at] thenakedconvos [dot] com. Cheers.