Published on November 16th, 2011 | by thetoolsman79
Did Mama Lie To Us?
Hey people, Toolsman here again and it’s another Wednesday…
Wait a minute, after reading this title, I’m sure none of you really care about my intro so…
First off, I know your Mama aint no liar… or at least I think so. Nahhh… that’s what we’re here to find out so please settle down and give me a bit to set up todays dialogue before you rip me apart. Thanks.
For those who attended #TNC2, I’m sure you remember that incredible moment when a young lady from the audience made that unforgettable statement that almost turned the venue upside down.
Well, for those who didn’t attend, the conversation had somehow shifted to couples and how despite being the powerful one in a relationship, some men still cook for their wives. The young lady in question went on to talk about how she could never ever let her husband make ‘soup’ for her because it’s the height of disrespect and yada yada yada…
Well, if you’re wondering, that isn’t why we are here. But, the mild drama that came about as a result of that statement got me wondering about another saying that has been around since… forever …
According to our parents (Mothers in particular):
The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.
It’s November 2011 and I come before you good members of the TNC community to ask if you think this statement still holds and why. But before you go at it, I’d like to drill a bit deeper. Let’s analyze it just so we’re sure of what we are arguing for or against. I spoke to a couple of my friends on this and I must say that they certainly gave me some new insight into this seemingly simple statement.
Contrary to what most may think, and like several other African proverbs, it’s important not to take the statement literally. Our mothers were not referring to your mad tasting Edi Kai Kong, your irresistible Efo Riro or your unbelievable baking skills. Nah. Broaden your minds and think ‘domesticated’. Being domesticated may mean being good at cooking but not necessarily spectacular. According to our mothers, a woman who can take good care of a home, in terms of cleaning, cooking and generally over-seeing things while her man is somewhere hustling for the family, has a better shot at keeping her man than the woman who doesn’t.
Now, taking the fact that we’re in the 2000’s and we’ve come across movements like women liberation, gender equality and blah blah, into consideration, one has to update the explanation given in the preceding paragraph. Being domesticated nowadays doesn’t necessarily mean a woman has to get her hands down and dirty. Once she has the sense of mind to realize that x, y, z need to be done around the house and she gets it done through Akpan, Ekaette, a cleaning service, a delivery service or whatever, then it’s almost the same thing as being domesticated. Right? (Point to argue)
Also, according to my friends, what our mothers inferred in that statement is that ‘every man wants to be taken care of just like their mothers took care of them.’ Growing up, most men rely on their mothers for food and providing food for them day in day out till they eventually leave home, explains why most men are greatly endeared to their mothers. Any woman who can successfully replicate or achieve this feat will automatically gain access to privileges similar to those given to their mothers.
Ok, so there you have it. That’s pretty much what our statement means. Now, take a step back and ask yourself again:
Is the stomach truly the way to a man’s heart?
I can hear a lot of murmuring but I think one of the loudest alternatives to ‘stomach’ as used in that statement is ‘sex’.
Yes? No? (Another one to argue)
I’m not going to take a position on this just yet. I’m going to be reading the comments and waiting for the right time to share my opinion on the issue but I hope this has been more that enough info to help you take a side on today’s dialogue.
It’s time to hear from you: Is the stomach truly the way to a man’s heart? If yes, let us know why you think so and if no, tell us what leads to a man’s heart. Use the comment box and speak your mind. Cheers.