Did Mama Lie To Us?
Hey people, Toolsman here again and it’s another Wednesday…
Wait a minute, after reading this title, I’m sure none of you really care about my intro so…
First off, I know your Mama aint no liar… or at least I think so. Nahhh… that’s what we’re here to find out so please settle down and give me a bit to set up todays dialogue before you rip me apart. Thanks.
For those who attended #TNC2, I’m sure you remember that incredible moment when a young lady from the audience made that unforgettable statement that almost turned the venue upside down.
Well, for those who didn’t attend, the conversation had somehow shifted to couples and how despite being the powerful one in a relationship, some men still cook for their wives. The young lady in question went on to talk about how she could never ever let her husband make ‘soup’ for her because it’s the height of disrespect and yada yada yada…
Well, if you’re wondering, that isn’t why we are here. But, the mild drama that came about as a result of that statement got me wondering about another saying that has been around since… forever …
According to our parents (Mothers in particular):
The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.
It’s November 2011 and I come before you good members of the TNC community to ask if you think this statement still holds and why. But before you go at it, I’d like to drill a bit deeper. Let’s analyze it just so we’re sure of what we are arguing for or against. I spoke to a couple of my friends on this and I must say that they certainly gave me some new insight into this seemingly simple statement.
Contrary to what most may think, and like several other African proverbs, it’s important not to take the statement literally. Our mothers were not referring to your mad tasting Edi Kai Kong, your irresistible Efo Riro or your unbelievable baking skills. Nah. Broaden your minds and think ‘domesticated’. Being domesticated may mean being good at cooking but not necessarily spectacular. According to our mothers, a woman who can take good care of a home, in terms of cleaning, cooking and generally over-seeing things while her man is somewhere hustling for the family, has a better shot at keeping her man than the woman who doesn’t.
Now, taking the fact that we’re in the 2000’s and we’ve come across movements like women liberation, gender equality and blah blah, into consideration, one has to update the explanation given in the preceding paragraph. Being domesticated nowadays doesn’t necessarily mean a woman has to get her hands down and dirty. Once she has the sense of mind to realize that x, y, z need to be done around the house and she gets it done through Akpan, Ekaette, a cleaning service, a delivery service or whatever, then it’s almost the same thing as being domesticated. Right? (Point to argue)
Also, according to my friends, what our mothers inferred in that statement is that ‘every man wants to be taken care of just like their mothers took care of them.’ Growing up, most men rely on their mothers for food and providing food for them day in day out till they eventually leave home, explains why most men are greatly endeared to their mothers. Any woman who can successfully replicate or achieve this feat will automatically gain access to privileges similar to those given to their mothers.
Ok, so there you have it. That’s pretty much what our statement means. Now, take a step back and ask yourself again:
Is the stomach truly the way to a man’s heart?
I can hear a lot of murmuring but I think one of the loudest alternatives to ‘stomach’ as used in that statement is ‘sex’.
Yes? No? (Another one to argue)
I’m not going to take a position on this just yet. I’m going to be reading the comments and waiting for the right time to share my opinion on the issue but I hope this has been more that enough info to help you take a side on today’s dialogue.
It’s time to hear from you: Is the stomach truly the way to a man’s heart? If yes, let us know why you think so and if no, tell us what leads to a man’s heart. Use the comment box and speak your mind. Cheers.
Hi
I have seen cases where the woman is domesticated and does everything in her power to take care of the man and she still doesn't have his heart.
Its the grace of God o.
Not your soup
Not your bedroom skills.
Just God.
Wale adetula!!!!!! All I'll say is I know where u live
Ghen .. ghen.. this is just the first post you inspired o.. wait for the second one …
Gbemi is right. Its not of her that cooketh or kpansheth.. Culinary skills n bedroom skills might be an added plus, might even capture his heart but its staying in his heart this is d issue. So it takes a whole lot and God.
I don't think the stomach is anymore.
This may or may not be relevant, but I can't marry a guy who can't cook. #Darrisall
Personally, I've always thought the statement meant more than food, so yea, it entails every other thing. On my part, the best times I share with my partner are when she's with my family and she just blends in.
To stay in a man's heart, ladies need to know what makes him tick….everything – the food, the sex (of course), how acceptable she is amongst family and friends. At times, I think the last one is usually the most important…I know how I fight for my friends' girls when the guys are trying to play games.
Above all, the two of you MUST JUST BE COMPATIBLE!! #thatisall
i totally agree wit gbemi! Its jst d grace of God!
It takes the grace of God.find that man and seek the grace of God.sex and food are just supplements
I think we should have a common definition of the words 'Stomach' & 'heart' first and foremost.
I have tweeted a number of times that the "fastest (or shortest route) way to a man's pocket is his ego."
Does 'heart' mean 'pocket'? Or does 'ego' mean 'stomach' in the above statement?
I don't think mama lied, I think she just put it as simply as she thout we would understand.
Irrespective of a woman's cooking skills it is unlikely she will make it to her man's heart if she is a nag or keeps an untidy home. Neither will a woman be interested in a man's heart if he does nothing to validate her in anyway possible.
All self sustaining relationships are driven first and foremost by inherent validations & selfish motives and not by any commonly held (dis)beliefs………
"Being domesticated may mean being good at cooking but not necessarily spectacular. According to our mothers, a woman who can take good care of a home, in terms of cleaning, cooking and generally over-seeing things while her man is somewhere hustling for the family, has a better shot at keeping her man than the woman who doesn’t.".
::::::::::» SO TRUE
"Once she has the sense of mind to realize that x, y, z need to be done around the house and she gets it done through Akpan, Ekaette, a cleaning service, a delivery service or whatever, then it’s almost the same thing as being domesticated.:::::::::» kinda true, these days giving out orders to ones doemestic staff has proven to be a skill….some women are outrightly dumb ( pls forgive me). Some ladies can't still figure out what to do even with a million house helps.
OMG!!
we were arguing the same thing at work yesterday!.
and someone was saying that it 'ups' the woman's competitive advantage in the marriage market.
TOTALLY FALSE!!!
Mothers are mothers and Wives are wives. They are not the same role and wives should never try to replicate mothers. Doing so, in my opinion, could hurt the marriage/relationship/P/whatever.
In this age, guys should be able to take care of themselves.
I go to work, he goes to work too. Why am I coming to slave away in the kitchen again. And no Ekaettes or Akpans are approaching my front gate.
I am always baffled when people ascribe everything to God and the Devil.
Being driven first and foremost by a strong belief in God, this statement is a lazy assertion and abdicates us humans from the role and responsibility we have in the affairs of our own lives…….
God and the Devil have very very little to do with it…….
How do you explain the successful marriages, careers etc of people who do not believe in God? How do you even go ahead and explain the failed lives/careers/ marriages of those who are staunch believers in God?
I am agnostic (clearly different from an atheist) who strongly believes our religious leaders are doing a great job of brain washing our society just to ensure we report to their offices every Sunday with our hands in our pockets to praise and worship the words that comes out of their mouth.
"It is by the grace of God" simply says to me, "If I fail, it is because God did not GIVE me his Grace" ……an excuse that is shrouded in utter bullshit!!!
I'm Christian, but I totally agree with LH. God isn't going to do the necessary work to keep your relationship together.
People need to get off their asses and do things to make the relationship work.
OK, i just felt a tinge of love for LH
This one comment found its way to my 'stomach'
Okay, so i read this quote somewhere
"If you think the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, you're aiming a little higher than necessary"
Just had to share that…lol
I agree with Gbemi, too many women invested adequate time and energy in cooking, cleaning n sexing their men like there is no tmrw but it doesnt seem to work in sum cases. I think at the end of the day, there is no general solution. You gotta know your man n what makes him tick n take active steps in fulfilling them whilst ensuring that u r also being taken care of
Y'all sound like by cooking and taking care of the home, a woman is GOING AN EXTRA MILE.
Well, she isn't. This sentiment is very typical of every pain and success a woman experiences. This is life, men play their roles, women play their roles too, it is that simple.
To 98% of women,this role of taking care of their man and the home comes naturally. just as being the PRIMARY provider and protector in a home comes to a man. ( kindly note my emphasis on 'primary' before you cluelessly jump on it and argue blindly).
Is the stomach truly the way to a man’s heart? Yes the somach( and so much more) lead to a man's heart.
I think being domesticated shoul be the bedrock of any lady- everyother thing should be added onto it.
For me,Being DOMESTICATED is a big deal
That a man will now stay with you is based on his personal conviction/preference.
The BEDROCK..??? really???
Yes…BEDROCK:::::::» FOUNDATION CORE
Now they ll be complaining that there are no REAL men to marry…I pity your lives
Seeking the grace of God does not mean you should cross your legs and watch things play out by themselves it simply means asking God to take preeminence as regards the efforts we make.of course have our parts to play buh you should know that "except the Lord buildeth a house,the builders build in vain"
Lagoshunter I totally agree wif you, people have failed in life because they have left everything to God and leaned back forgetting hardwork is key, in this case you can't generalize or point to one thing, it might be food, sex or just one rusty fork, let me paint a funny scenario here: if a man sleeps with a prostitute and she is his regular and she does him good, will he decide to spend the rest of his life with her there and then? Yes? No? I mean if this is the case, chefs and pornstars won't ever get divorced. In conclusion, sex is the glue in a marriage, food is vital but CHARACTER is the sustaining factor.
I agree with you. It isn't just the food or sex ('tho is a part), its the whole balance in the lady's character. He isn't just interested in eating or having sex, he's interested in your company (i.e having all that comes with it). And YES, it includes a domesticated lady.
Gbemi is wrong!
If you attribute it to God and dont get off your butt to act, you wont get near his heart.
Read Proverbs 31:10-31; The "Virtuous Woman" was described as a woman of action; not a woman laied back and waitng for God's grace
Haha. Now I know the definition of Bedrock.
But seriously yo!!
Not her character, not her non-gossippy/gossipy ways (depending on your preference), not your ability to be in the same room with her and not feel like plucking out her eyes or bitch slapping her…etc…
none of those…
just her ability to cook and scrub floors…
I'm getting you.
Scrub Floors?? is that a new position?
hahaha…
I don't think it's new though…..
Mama never lies!
Stomach=Deep Satisfaction
However you interprete that is your business…
I think a woman that can hold you down mentally, 'domestically', emotionally and sexually has found the way to your stomach :)
not every man's stomach is truly satisfied by these things though.
I haven't finished reading this post…but the way to my heart is not through my stomach..
MY HEART IS IN MY STOMACH!!!!
*now goes up to finish reading*
Hameed,
Gbemi is very right. When we say its by God,
we know if u dnt work it out, put in an effort, give it ur best, it wnt work. We know that. But we know its not based just on the work. If grace isnt rested on it, its a waste of time. So yeah, its by God's grace and ur effort.
U can be a Proverbs 31 woman + badass bed skills and still have failed relationships . E dey happen.
cooking, pounding yam, cleaning and sex might get his heart/attention, but will it keep his heart? And for how long. Pls God's grace join.
Please explain the phenomenon of "happily married" atheist couples? And for your information,them plenty well well……
Because one is an atheist doesn't mean that they've been abandoned by GOD. Rain falls on the Sinner and saint alike. Food grows be it sowed by an atheist or theist.
We have seen various exact scenarios resulting in totally different outcomes. I do believe it is the grace of God that makes that produces these different outcomes.
Truth is a the surest way to a man's heart is his big Pot belly, loads of sex, cleaning and all blahhhhhhh…..but keeping him for real, is just God! Gbemi's so on point! Cos Men of these days are just sooooooooooo difficult to keep…..takes a supernatural means o! Hmmmmmmm
To stay in a man’s heart, ladies need to know what makes him tick….everything – the food, the sex (of course), how acceptable she is amongst family and friends. At times, I think the last one is usually the most important……Folarin said it all, I aint a food person, so either she cooks or not not a problem….but if she just acknowledges my little efforts, that there is the key. $0.02
Hmm.. This is far more complex than a simple proverb. What if you do everything and his family hates you with a vengence? This is our reality, when mother's, sister's and others all feel that they can "find you a wife" and that if you marry who you want they will attempt to make her life and integration into the family as difficult as possible. It's too complex to attribute it to simpel proverb.
When i get married and is living happiliy after a couple of years, i will make another comment…..right now the way i think is right is;
-God
-compatibility/companionship/get-along-well
-great sex
-(insert something smart here)
-good food
-etc……
seeing that we are all different, is there really a straight way into a man's heart???
The way to a man's heart varies because not all men are the same. These days some men even say if they have the money, they'll rather hire a cook to do all the cooking than their wives.
Ladies know the kind of man you're with and stop using the textbook approach to get into/stay in your man's hearts.
My 2 cents.
God bless you!!! The problem in this world (especially our part of it) is that we are quick to accept laid down rules. It's almost like we are too lazy to critically analyze things passed on to us. So your mother tells you a man won't love you unless you can feed him and so you work very hard on your culinary skills and then your first 3 relationships are a fail. Aunty then comes to tell you a man won't love you until you show him moves in bed and so you sit down with kama sutra and yet your next 3 relationships are a disaster. Then you watch a series of hollywood love to you and so you conclude that you just haven't found love! WHY????!!!! why do this? Until we make a habit of critically analyzing ideas passed on to us we would keep getting loads of things wrong in this life. Textbook principles are just a guide, your mind should rule over these things.
u plp shuld be dere talking english the way to a man heart is through Baba eregelaiye. food and sex is no longer enuff.
Loooollll
hmm.. interesting comments so far and some of y'all are so predictable tho, we just had to bring in the religious angle didn't we.. sigh..
Anyways, to start, I do not think Mama lied.
Mama only spoke based on her experiences and probably those of her friends, mother, mothers mother.. etc back then. We all know how women were more or less objectified and marriages were scripted back then, any woman "lucky" enough to find herself a man had to do all she could to keep him but that still didn't stop the men from having several wives/concubines.
As much as I tried to translate the statement based on current trends/beliefs, I honestly believe the statement no longer applies especially among the 'educated/ very exposed'
Within these circles, women are no longer seen as objects or items to be possessed. In fact, marriage or companionship is no longer seen as necessity. Also, women have fought for their independence, continuously stating their non-willingness to be irrationally submissive to men and constantly pushing for gender equality.
It's true that women are far from independence and gender equality is probably still a dream but as long as the answer to what most men want or what leads to a man's heart is: different things, today's man considers a bunch of the things I wrote up there when making his decision.
Some men want sex, others want domesticated women, some want slaves. The God/grace of God factor is negligible in my opinion. Its comes down to preferences. It's like saying the Ice cream man prays for God's grace to be able to sell vanilla flavor ice-cream to a kid who only loves chocolate. He needs more than grace, he needs a miracle.
Instead of saying women need to do this or that to get to a mans heart, I think the women need to work on being themselves & appreciating being themselves and if they have to pray, the prayer should be that the man, whose preferences they match, someway, somehow comes their way.
excellent!!!- "I think the women need to work on being themselves & appreciating being themselves and if they have to pray, the prayer should be that the man, whose preferences they match, someway, somehow comes their way."
ma views exactly,its too much work tryin 2 b who u r nt!!!
n its nt if they ve 2 pray, PRAY u must!!
Every man wants different things. We just think we want 'domesticated' because we have been told that's what we should like. Following the stereotypical family archetype. That's why there are some men with the most domesticated women ever in their homes and they still keep 2nd women outside. Separate families even.
Sometimes its because there's something they want from that other woman that the wife is not providing. A sense of adventure or a shared interest but they refuse to leave their initial wife because she fits some 'expected values' the so-called 'wife material' but in reality, we all want different things if we're honest with ourselves.
Sometimes, we don't even know what we want but we go for certain things because we've been told by society that we are supposed to. So many unfulfilled people following expectations. I do not subscribe at all.
The way to a mans heart depends on the man. Know your man (or woman) and know yourself.
I'm with thinktank on this one!
After reading this post, I asked a couple of my male friends and they honestly didn't know what the way to their heart was.
I mean there is the "normal" list the world expects a woman to posess….
She should know how to cook, be fertile, good in bed bla bla bla superwoman in short!
But I think different people want different things. And its also about knowing your partner and also the grace of God!
@LH even the Bible says faith without work is dead!!!
So when we say God, we don't mean we'd just sit n look pretty and do nothing!
i earlier said "seeing that we are all different, is there really a straight way into any man’s heart???" but ahhhhh…..the way thinktank said his, i wish i can delete my comment now…….:(
@toolsman, pls take down my previous comment na!
Thanks @thinktank….too much sense.
Never planned on ever commenting, but Tula just hit the nail on the head….it really does boil down to plain darn "preferences"…. was @ a friend's birthday party and got talking with some "smart young men"and one openly declared that he would rather marry a "dumb bimbo" who was good in the sack than marry a smart educated young lady. While another said he preferred a smart lady who was also good in the sack….bearing in mind thou that none of these "smart young men" ever commented or made reference to any of the ladies being domesticated or home trained!!! Preferences and priorities have definitely changed… "OH WELL…TO EACH THEIR OWN"…..
looool ok my mum died when i was 9 so mama didnt tell me anything cos all the time she was alive she was admitted. . .dad has refused to marry again shaaa :(
but i guess apart from the "typical" norms expected from a wife like sex cooking n cleaning. . .i think we tend to underestimate the effect of "individual differences". .
People differ so what okoro wants might not work for Okonkwo. .know your man well and try to possibly find a way to his "heart" if not. . Torrh you are on ur own!!
all i can do is grin widely @ lagoshunter's comment. For the first time in a long while i mostly agree with his responses. well said.
Errrr, what about the way to a woman's heart ehn Tula? Or you think we're all superficial. I'll only pardon you if there's a part 2 to this story.
Anyway, the way to a guy's heart….You can never pin-point it without first understanding what his backbone comprise of. Most times, guys make use of examples from their parents' relationship to determine what they'll want from a woman and what they wouldn't.Another contributing factor could be from their friends. You can practice all the styles in kamasutra, you can enroll in a cooking school and become the best graduating student, but if you don't fully understand your man, you'll be busy preparing him for another woman who will. Its just natural.
Great Job Tula!
what makes a relationship/marriage work = two people who are interested in each other and willing (against all odds) to make it work.
Even when this so called saying was established men were cheating and beating their wives despite the 'full stomachs' and the women stayed because that's what they were willing to sacrifice to make it work.
There is no standard, do what works for you.
50th!! ^_^ I thnk…:/ ^_^
Oh and I've been looking for the subscribe button since. >_< A lil help?
I don't know the way to a man's heart,I just know the things I can do to help my marriage grow:
I will be kind,thoughtful,patient and honest.
I will be patient,be his no.1 fan,and let him be the Superhero.
I will be forgiving,patient and selfless.
I will be a maid in the living room,a chef in the kitchen and a freak in the sheets. (Ofcos Ekaette and Sunday can help with living room and kitchen) :D
I will love him when he deserves it least.
So help me God…especially the patience bit.
For now,I'll just keep working on all these,hoping that God in His mercies brings me a man that'll be easy for me to please.
This was the underlying theme in the movie Onuoha and I watched on Africa Magic yoruba this afternoon…from separate locations. Tula its time to start writing scripts.
"Stomach" "heart"-men!
Can u rily eva get into d soul of a man?
Change is d only constant thing in life n from my own little experience some couples wud say-
-Patience
-sex
-food
-rubbin his ego
-ignorance
-acceptin his flaws/weakness
-ignore his cheatin/flirtin attitude…if he is!
-invest in ur apperance
-a role model as a mum
-be diplomatic wit his siblings no matter aw fustratin they can be
-either ur a good housewife or have an outstandin ambitionn i.e don't be lazy
-dont cheat even if its out of revenge!
-be supportive as much as u can emotionally,financially,morall n don't make it a future reference…and on and on
U don't av to follow all d rules dependin on aw much u know ur guy…dats if u know him at all.
Someone once told me dat d guy u are dating has a different behaviour wen wit his friends(inner circle).so u either choose being part of d team(friends) or being part of d family,u just can't av it all. A married man once said he has slept wit over 60 women in his lifetime to his mistress. Now I'm askin…how would d wife react if she heard this? Even d mistress was shocked! Cos rily,what do d league of men of dis millenium want?
The word 'stomach' for me is metaphorical in this old saying. The stomach or belly is like the core of many important things. If you think about it, if the belly is not physically satisfied, there's very little the rest of the body can do to make the whole being function a 100%. It's just like a woman with menstrual cramps…she's practically useless for that entire time period. So anyway the 'belly' of a man may be his love for sexual activities, his love for food, may be the love he has for his dog or his sister or even a close friend, it may be his knack for organisation or his love for intuition….anything really that can make his heart smile and pump more oxygenated blood round his entire physical body. Find what that thing is and you'll have him.
everybody enjoys a good meal, yes? but it takes that special meal to keep you going back for more.
If you watch 'how i met your mother' you'd remember that episode were Marshall was desperately in search for some burger he had back when he was in college. The trouble he went through was phenomenal!!! Why would a grown ass man trouble himself and drive round town just to find burger??? That burger did something to him… it touched something… it satisfied his belly… it brightened his heart and he NEEDED to have it again! Trust me, if he realised what that burger meant to him back then he would NOT have let it go. Same way some men might not realise that woman that has figured out and satisfied their belly until he finds that his heart is no longer as bright as it used to be. At this point some go searching for her, others may just be too lazy to go through the wahala and just settle for anything really while the lucky ones who knew from the onset that this female is the 'Marshall burger' their belly needs, hold on to her and would never let her go.
The End. :)
@edontmarra: wat if u were contented wit d burger until a new flavour was added…wat if u tried d new taste n loved it better…wat if? Initially u felt it wudnt be nice until u had a trial…
Even if you enjoy this new flavour it cannot have the same effect as that 'belly-satisfying flavour'. You know different things to different things to you. The kind of effect i'm talking about is the type that you can't get from any other. You don't have to realise it at the time. It's not a mediocre satisfaction… it's different…unique…beyond words. Do you get me?
So this site looks considerably different from how it looked this morning.
D way to a man's heart is by being urself!If ur a fake gurl who just loves to party and spend money,u'll defo find som1 dt suits u!Every man wants somtin diff and d key is dt once he got attracted to u and moved on frm dating u to proposing marriage den u must have had his heart all along(in most cases) so all u have to do is be urself don't change!!But d catch is dt u identified d fact dt he's a real man b4 u married him!A real man knows wat he wants and is not likely to give his heart to d next nympho dt enters his life:Dt is a real man!@LH ,God created atheists too so insurance(his grace) covers dem too hence atheists can have happy marriages QED!
Your intolerance of atheist is shameful.
The existence of God is an ongoing debate,that you firmly believevwhat you believe does not automatically mean what another person believes is wrong or without a base.
are you a Christain because you made a conscious decision or because you were born into a Christain home in a predominantly Christain society? Most atheists and agnostics on the other hand,made a conscious decision after questioning,studying and research the idea of Religion, God and Devil.
You buy your pastor's evangelism hook line and sinker, but don't for one minute assume what you were nurtured to believe in MUST be 100 % true
Interesting comments….my ex broke up with me 'cos i was 'wife material' and that's not what he wanted at the time.. i found that odd 'cos i'd never cooked for him or cleaned anything of his..*sigh* still fucking hurts..anyways that's when i became certain that there isn't a hard and fast rule to getting a man's heart… be yourself all the time….your very best version with hobbies and interests and a life basically……and you'll attract someone who wants exactly that..
O wow.
I don't think I've heard that line before.
:(
Lol!!! Tell me about it- live long enough and you'll see everything…
"Be yourself all the time…your very best version with hobbies and interests and a life basically… and you'll attract someone who wants exactly that…"
SPOT ON!
Both stomachs would be satisfied to an extent i think…
The way to a man's heart is through Уσυя heart. When you love, love unconditionally. Stomach is important but some guys are junkies and don't care for home cooked meals, they live in dirt and are happy just the way they are. When you love yourself unconditionally you will meet Уσυя better half. Delay is not denial. You should be thankful to all the guys that broke up with you, cos a broken relationship is better than a broken marriage
In my opinion, I think to an extent, our mothers were right…in their time I dont think sex was as openly discussed as it is right now, since sex before marriage wa not as common as it is today, the only way to 'guage' a woman's worth was through her cooking.
These days…its a different ball game, there more ways to rate a woman, her career, her looks, how good she is in bed, etc. therefore her cooking plays a smaller role than it did in our mothers time.
See me carrying last…as usual
LH abeg go siddon!In wat way av I bin intolerant?Anybody can be whaeva he wants to be in as much as it doesn't harm d next person!Dnt wanna deviate frm d subject matter so peace…@ least agnostics believe in dt surely?
DR Pakuromo, chill joor. If you re-read the comment by LH, he asked you a basic question; Do you know God yourself or through your Priest? Simples.
You cant talk about grace, when all you know about grace is through your Pastor.
Domesticated?? sounds kinda odd & derogatory tho''… sounds like the process of taking a wolf from the wild and training it to live amongst humans ***dog*** …
"Love the Lord your God with all your heart…".I will treat my husband as I want to be treated but I will not idolize him or feel he is the best thing to happen to me.Believe me, the arm of flesh will fail, only God and impacting lives positively matters. That's why we are here. Marriage is not an end in itself.You are better off single forever till you find yourself, love yourself and enjoy your own company. A husband is just human, he will do right and wrong.Don't wrap your live around him or your kids either.Live Your life.First ask are you worth anything if you are not a wife, if yes, then you stand a better chance of being one.
Figuratively, it doesn't mean 'STOMACH'.
Well, when the adage was in vogue, the world hadn't evolved to what we have now. Technology is making businesses grow faster than ever in the same vein exposing our children to so much x-rated content. Economies have changed structures and women (or wives) now work. In some cases being the bread-winner.
IMO, a woman needs to know much of DOMESTICS to keep the home. Unforgettable Bedmatics and Character can't be left out cos, like the Stock Market, those two qualities come rare nowadays hence it's high market value.
Above all, every woman should understand her man. Why the hell would my wife want me to be like Denzel Washington???
Evrybdy wnts to b taken care off. Wen my bf's shoes r worn out, I do my best to get new ones, wen his boxers r tite, I replace dem, imk sure he has eaten n generally chck.up on him to mm sure his fine. But den again wen i find ihv nids to b takn care off& I spk to him abt it..oh well! M d one who gts to tkcre of myself. Soo tngs lk ds u won't find us women tryna play our roles, cs we yea right! So whose gna tkcre of us tooo!!
Truth be told, some of the mothers who give this sort of advice end up having broken/unhappy marriages. This is not to say that 'being domesticated' does not work for some people.
I believe it takes God first, and a well-balanced woman to keep a man. Well-balance = well-rounded = 'domestication'+sex+career(?)
I say God first because you see so many marriages that hit the rocks inspite of an amazing balance.
So no, the way to a man's heart is not JUST his stomach. Build and refine yourself all round as a woman, including your relationship with your maker, and keep your man.