Of Double Standards, Sexism & More
The thing about ‘double standards’ is, they almost always come in doubles. For every single one put forward by men, I can almost find a counter/matching one presented by women. This is quite interesting especially for someone who jokes about the fact that women possibly invented the term double standards. Yes, men probably don’t process a lot of things as double standards but that can easily be ascribed to our ego issues – even with the rise of the EMOs, most men will almost never willingly play the victim.
I got involved in some discussions on double standards over the last couple of days and I found it almost infuriating when I discovered there seems to be a growing trend in which women often synonymize sexism and misogyny all in the name of protesting male propagated double standards. This is certainly one for another post but as a way of possibly finding an agreeable midpoint between both sexes, Sheila and I have decided to dedicate today’s post to discussing common Double Standards.
We have highlighted some common double standards below:
The Trophy Girl
Enough is enough with guys defining their taste in women based on what’s popular on TV. Let’s be real if you have a keg (*ahem* one pack) and not a 6-pack please stop going around saying you want a girl that looks like Beyonce or Kelly Rowland, whether you have money or not. Women are often asked to focus on the inner qualities of a man even though the men find it hard to focus on the inner qualities of a woman. If ladies are meant to look beyond physical appearance then please you can do the same too!
Miss 3 Looking for Mr. 10
You have flab flying everywhere, the folds on your stomach neatly sit on one another making your mid region look like a pile of neatly folded clothes; you use makeup – but then, maybe you shouldn’t because it doesn’t really do much to hide the fact that you’re not exactly a ‘natural beauty’. No problem there; neither is Saint Obi. The issue comes from the fact that you only want to date Tyson Beckford lookalikes. How on earth do we reconcile this?
The Good Girl
The only time you go to your place of worship (church or mosque) is for landmark celebrations or thanksgiving services in the year BUT YET you want the girl who is the religious sister, in tune with God and knows how to pray because you need a prayerful woman in your life. She must be in church every Sunday and preferably in the choir; she should be the saint and the angel in your life while you remain the demon, the tempting devil that the holy book warns her about.
Bad Is Good
He is never late – never. He always gets the door for you. He listens to your every word – Every. Single. Word. He never complains and trusts you better than your own parents. Now, doesn’t this just describe the perfect boyfriend? NO. She wants him to be these things but only three days a week? On other days, she wants some drama; she doesn’t want him to be so freaking good all the time. Maybe even cheat on her a couple of times just so she knows he’s a MAN. Yes, she wants him to be BAD but in a GOOD way. Get it?
The Independent dependent woman
This is a relatively new standard that is quite ridiculous but here goes. You don’t want a housewife yet your woman must not earn more than you, in other words, she must be independent but still depend on you, an achiever but cannot achieve more than you. Back in the day, ladies chose to stay dumb because they wanted to get married now ladies have to get smart but still keep some form of dumbness so they can still remain accepted by the men of our society.
Can you pay my bills?
She has a job, a good one too. Who knows, she might even be making as much, if not more than you but all of that is HER money. She wants a man that can take all, or at least most of her financial burdens away so she can enjoy spending HER money on the other ‘important’ things, you know, like keeping it saved in an account. Her man has to show that he is capable from the get go. From the first date, he’s ‘expected’ to handle the bill afterall he asked her out didn’t he?
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So there you have it, some common double standards. Let’s take a look at them and try to dismiss or justify them. You can also help us out by putting up some double standards worth discussing. You know the drill, use the comment box and speak your mind. Cheers.
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First #okbye *cheeky smile*
Second ;)
3rd?going back to read
Men can flirt but when a babe flirts, she's a ho. Men can cheat. She made him. but when a babe cheats she's a ho. Women are allowed to not do manual jobs but if guys don't, they aren't men. It goes on and on and on. Gender roles, stereotypes & double standards
What he/she said
lol. She :D
Camman.. Personally, I think its the females that fuel this particular ones. Let's be realistic, in our world today, men cheat, women cheat. Any man who denies this fact belong in a cave. The difference: women love playing the victim. Maybe if women own up to their actions a little bit more, men will also respect their decisions more?
Men cheat aii but when they are found out, whatever excuse works. But when a woman is caught cheating, she is regarded as a ho. No excuses
I'm a man, but I have to agree with you. It's true!
When a man is blunt and articulate he “knows his onions”, but when a woman is, she is rude and we typically hear men and other women say “doesn’t she know she is a woman?”
That's soooooooo true!
Well, I think this one is dying off, at least in the urban societies. Liberalization has helped empowered a lot more women and more and more women are bolder and taking up influential positions in our societies so I think it's only a matter of time for men to realize this and learn to respect female opinions no matter how blunt they are.
Well said.. :)
There are far more double standards than that. The male/female slut. The snazzy dresser as opposed to the unassuming. But generally I think you appreciate the general drive. Double standards have got to go.
The male/female slut?
I really don't think we can totally wipe out double standards. It's in our nature and some of us thrive on their existence.
yes sir….I need me some sluts this weekend sef…..
When a man gets enraged and throws things around, shoves his girl or hits her he is "violent" when a woman does the same she's "upset" or "just throwing temper tantrums'.
Sigh.. this one right here is just sad.. truth is, the world is yet to come to terms with the fact that men also get assaulted in relationships. I've met grown men who find it hard to go home every night because they are scared of their wives but they cant come out to tell the world for fear of being called cowards.
This is exactly what I mean when I say gender roles. Men are expected to be strong and *insert appropriate adjective* and women are expected to be weak and dependent
LoL. . . Efe & Jude
"Miss 3 Looking for Mr. 10" does the paragraph under that title imply that "miss 3" should look to date only a "mr 3"? Everyone wants good things- in this case, good looking people. You can't tell me that you are so realistic that the thought (maybe desire?) of being with someone who is better looking than your "average-good-looking-person" hasn't crossed your mind yet.. but you see that's what you get when you are dealing with an overly superficial generation like ours.
Here's how I've "reconciled" it: realize that good looks fade with time and work from there to be less superficial, be a great individual, be of good character, try to make yourself "presentable" and finally, hope that you end up with a person who realizes that you are of worth not because of your looks but because of how amazing a person you are.
This is a common double standard and I suppose the reason why it is one is primarily because of the major difference between '3' and '10'.
I definitely agree with you that we all want good things and even though there are exceptions, one should come up with 'realist' desires.. Miss 3 can aim for Mr 6 maybe 7.. if she falls short, she'll land on a five?
And as far as I'm concerned, I think the same thing applies for men.
There goes my dream of a Mr 10!
You can always be the exception.. no?
Haha! Yes, there are those.
I disagreee jare. Bad is BAD!!!! Why wud i wnt my bf to unfaithful? Tsk** please..
A double standard I hate – Wives/girlfriens are expected to look the other way when their man cheats, but a cheating wife is intolerable. Cheating isn't in anybody's DNA. It is a decision, whether conscious or unconscious.
I missed school the whole of last week cuz I was ill. When I resumed this monday,my head of department gave me malt to drink cuz he said I was looking tired. Another of my group members(a boy) that missed school just on friday was sent back home on monday and told to come back with his father..did I add that am the only girl in my group?.
I felt bad sha….kind of.
Wait.. if things had been the other way round, you'd have tagged the man sexist no?
I still think he is a sexist..I should not be given special treatment cuz I am female
Mentirosa !!!! I bet if he didn't do anything, you would have called them uncaring and that they behave "ungentlemanly"…. mehn, eff this sexist world.. the old way was the better one sha….