Published on July 28th, 2012 | by Efe_Ogaren10
Yo, There is a girl I consider my closest friend in the world. Over the last three years we have gotten to spend a lot of time together and had our drama.
Last year I admitted I had feelings for her. Unfortunately, she didn’t feel the same way. We managed to work through it, and now she’s been in a relationship with a guy for a few months. I have been very supportive of that relationship, and she and I are comfortable where we are as friends.
What I don’t understand is why she gets mad at me if people see us out in public and assume we are setting P. I tell her it doesn’t matter what others think. As long as we know what we are and are not.
But she doesn’t feel that way. If someone assumes we are in a relationship, it really bothers her. However, it’s not my fault what other people think, especially when I’m not the one spreading false rumors and I don’t think I need to go up to everyone and tell them we aren’t dating.
Instead of my friend to laugh it off, this causes arguments between us. I care for her very much, but I can’t put up with this anymore. What do you think the problem is?
How can she believe you want her to have a successful relationship with someone else, when you wanted a relationship with her? You destroyed the fantasy that you guys were just friends, and she finds it offensive anyone should think she is dating you.
When you wanted to go from longtime friend to lover, you should have first asked yourself one question. Does she treat me like a man, or like a girlfriend and one of her confidantes? That’s a harsh question, but it explains why she rejected you.
Maybe she is uncomfortable because you like her in a way she doesn’t want. Maybe she is afraid what her boyfriend might think. Maybe she wants others to see her with a different type of man. Maybe, if you examine your feelings more closely, you will realize you became friends with her because you wanted more.
Telling her you liked her ruined the relationship. Once you told her, the relationship was either going forward, or it was going to end.
My boo’s sister has been unfaithful to her boyfriend for a couple of years. She made no secret about it to us and others, and then her boyfriend started suspecting. The thing is we are all friends, we went to school together and hang out a lot. I told her if her guy ever asked me questions, I would be honest. I refuse to lie for someone who is cheating.
Well, her bpyfriend finally asked me if I knew what she was up to. I told him everything. He then called his girlfriend and confronted her. He told her who told him, this was something I didn’t expect. She immediately pinged me and wanted to know if I was the one who gave him the info.
I was shocked when I realized I was caught in the middle. I told her, “No, not me” Later I told my boyfriend what I had done. He was surprised, but when I reminded him we told his sister we would not lie if her boyfriend asked questions, he seemed to understand.
The problem: everything seemed to cool down for a while but later I noticed this girl started acting cold towards me, when I mentioned this to my boyfriend, and he said she probably still thinks I snitched her out.
Three months later my boyfriend comes again and tells me he told his sister I did, in fact, snitch on her. I’m like what the fuck? Right? I feel I can’t trust my boyfriend. We always had a “tell each other everything” relationship, but I don’t feel that way anymore. I feel he chose his sister over me. I think that’s wrong. Efe, can you help me sort this out?
Hello OneYoruba girl,
When this chick confronted you, you had a split second to decide what to do, and you made the wrong decision. Your original decision, to tell the truth if confronted, was the right one. Otherwise you become an accomplice to cheating.
Having decided to tell the truth, you should have continued to tell the truth. What you failed to realize was one day you would have to stand up tp this girl. Your boyfriend actually followed the rule you both set up: if asked, tell the truth. The only person who didn’t is you.
Don’t expect a positive relationship with this chick. She doesn’t treat her boyfriend with respect. Don’t let her actions come between you and your guy. He followed the path of honesty. He understood what you did in spite of his close connection to his sister. Understand what he did in spite of his close connection to you.
Hello everyone, please use the comment box and give some advice or share our own experience.
As always, any email sent to email@example.com asking questions or sharing a secret will be treated discretely and only published as anonymous.Enjoy the rest of your weekend