Light It Up
I have never been conscious of skin tone, and in fact I deny the existence of the light skin vs. dark skin debate. I struggle to wrap my head around it, because I find dark-skinned guys more attractive than their ‘yellow’ counterparts, and I have never felt discriminated against or ignored because of my own dark-ish skin. Even after my mum tried to sweet-talk me into using some ‘brightening cream’ while I was in university because according to her, “walking around in that Ife sun is making you too dark”, I just couldn’t be bothered.
However, a few days ago I was talking to a friend of mine who is fixated with light skin. We saw a cute mixed race baby, and while I was ooh-ing and aah-ing about her amazing curly hair, my friend said, with a tinge of bitterness sadness in her voice: “See how she’s so fair! This girl will now grow up and marry a correct guy”. I tried to argue but she shut me up. In her words: “Abeg! Even the darkest of dark guys, including the ones who look burnt, will be going for fair babes. *hiss*.” This same girl hates going out with her mum and sister who are very fair because, apparently, they get all the attention.
I didn’t even know what to say, or where her bitterness came from because this girl is fairer than me, so if she was complaining, perhaps I should just dive off the 3rd Mainland Bridge? I shook my head and laughed, but her words made me wonder if I should finally stop denying the fact that light skinned women have a natural advantage, simply on account of their skin tone.
So, let’s talk. Do you guys really care about the shade of our skin? Really? Why? Are there any theories out there that may explain it? Same goes for the ladies who prefer light-skinned men. What’s the deal? Is there a deal? And while we’re at it, can we talk about how on the streets of Lagos, everyone (and their second cousin) is now two shades lighter than they used to be in high school? Even the light skinned ladies aren’t left out of the bleaching fad! Let’s (hopefully) clear this debate up once and for all!
About the Author
Dami Oyedele Management Consultant. Contributing Editor at YNaija. Creative Spirit. Lover of Brandy Norwood's music. Eagle in a human's body. Twitter: @DamiOyedele
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hmmmmm
I don't consider the color of his skin….. how is that even important sef.
na d skin I wan chop.?
I tire for them on!
I have never dated a light skinned man, maybe because am a little light skinned 'chocolate color', but i discovered that am not attracted to them and i feel same works for the guys as well who might be naturally attracted to different shades of skin color. besides, i think its a sign of low self esteem for you to be ebony black and then suddenly you want to be light skinned.
besides, i think its a sign of low self esteem for you
to be ebony black and then suddenly you want to be light
skinned.
I agree
I have never considered skin complexion in choosing friends, partners or foes.
But, in Nigeria, there is a rising inclination towards lighter skin, and and it annoys me. More and more ladies bleaching and using skin-lightening products.
When I left Nigeria, my sister told me make sure I became 'fairer' when I return. WTF!?!?
haha! everytime I go to Nigeria, ppl (strangers, frns n family) always ask me why my skin is so dark despite living abroad. I always hold myself bk from responding with a smart arse comment like "I cant afford or I dont invest in bleaching creams"
IMO, light skin people just look more attractive. If you bring one dark skinned person & a light skin person with exactly the same level of facial beauty/ugliness. The light skinned person will look better.
Looking at my dating history, I’ve only been with dark people
Here is the thing. One man's food is another's poison. Changing yourself to meet someone else's standards will be the death of you. thats why ppl r into surgery. So what happens once you bleach your skin, get a boob job, a fake nose, larger hips and bum (or slimmer), shave off your eybrow (and draw a fake hideous one). Will you honestly look at the mirror and recognise the person staring back?
I think with your frn, she hears her own insecurity in other ppl's words and other ppl's actions. I once read a book where a gal was angry becuz someone sed she was beautiful for a dark skinned gal. She saw that as a criticism of her blackness. I have heard similar compliments over the years and my response to it was more positive.
It’s a known fact, light-skinned girls have and would always have an advantage over their dark counterparts. I, for one, prefer light-skinned guys also
Loool the never ending critisicm of ‘we’ light skinned ladies (◑.◑),dark skinned bros over yellow skinned bros anytime anyday *evilGrin*
I don't care about skin tone. So far you're fresh and not a pork. And you dress well. And u don't have any of the odors.
If at all I'll prefer someone a lil in the middle. Chocolate skinned or whatever. I've never dated anyone as dark as me tho n I'm like in d chocolate region.
Anyways…
ok my 2 kobo, i'm dark skinned , have dated dark skinned girls, but i have had my long/ rewarding/ really serious relationships with light skinned ladies.. its an unconscious thing for me, i will almost always gravitate towards a light skin lady in any grouping i find mysef, i've had to sit severally to question this attitude of mine and have come up with the excuse thats cos my mum is very light skinned. i think in the end we all wired differently, hence differing attractions….
Well, its sad but its true. I have a friend who was very dark but now, she’s has fair as Tonto Dike.
She said she’s wasn’t getting enough attention from guys.
hmmmm
You'll find this convo happening among black people all over the world. In general, there is an almost universal love of the light-skinned/caramel complexion. Some of this fixation has its roots in slavery and colonialism and I guess and offshoot of that is the largely Eurocentric power structure of the world we live in. Both directly and indirectly, this power structure dictates the way we view beauty both in the world and in ourselves.
It doesn't just affect Black people. Asian men and women routinely get surgery to remove the epicanthic folds on their eyes and remove the frenulum on their tongues so that they can literally look and sound more like their Caucasian counterparts.
It's important to note that while the global social order explains some of our obsession with light skin, it doesn't necessarily account for all of it. At the end of the day, we just have to accept at a very parsimonious level, that for some people, it is simply a matter of preference and nothing more.
If you would like to hear more about people's opinions on interplay of race, sexuality and attractiveness, go to http://50shadesofblack.com/ There, you'll find a bunch of people, including myself, who are sharing their views on the subject.
On a related note, were none of your forced to read West African Verse in secondary school? I still remember this piece called "Rejoice" by Gladys Casely-Hayford. It's a poem about race and being proud of one's own skin color "….God has been so gracious as to make you black or brown". Even if you don't like poetry, that's one piece I feel all of you should definitely go read.
the definition of beauty has always revolved around light. Everyone is attracted to light even moths and butterflies, so also humans. That they are attractive doesnt make them beautiful. and that we bemoan that they are attractive wouldnt stop them from being attractive.
Innately, beauty is anything pleasant, light, slim, colourful for birds and and some animals, graceful, etc.
For me, Skin color has never been a criteria for choosing a partner. Being almost coal black myself, I don't think skin color has anything to do with the content of a person's brain or mind, or character.
I admit I once tried bleaching; even Makari couldn't help me. When I complained, my Mum held her sides and said between fits of laughter, "have you looked at your father? You can only escape that skin color by taking 3 table spoons of Jik, 3 times a day for 3 weeks before you touch any cream!"
I come from a family of BLACK people. How would I explain 'yellow' skin?
Besides, the blacker a woman is, the more beautiful she becomes. At least that's what my Dad told me.
lol!!! I love your mum..
Hm! Personally I think the concept of light skinned people being more attractive is false . Have you met some light skinned ugly girls? Hm! You'll run. Even guys too. We should all learn to find comfort in our skin colour, and also not look out for just skin color in potential relationship patners. Its okay for you to have a 'spec' but you must not set boundaries of "he/she must be light skinned". I am light skinned, very sef (people even call me afin), I used to be very uncomfortable with my skin color because it draws too much attention. Well, I've learnt to live and even bask in it and even if a cream that can make people dark exists, I don't think I would wanna change it.
hmmm….in my Uni (name withheld), boys, girls, cleaners, security guy,lecturers,etc…invest their money in bleaching creams….some even manage FUNBACT-A sef….lol…dey cant get past those stubbornly dark knuckles, ankles and ears….lol….according to some views from parole chics,it increases their selling point….
I can totally relate to this cos my mum STILL persuades me to tone my skin!!!I luv dat I'm d only dark person in my family!as 4 guys I really don't care abt skin tone!I once found a VERY dark guy(I'm talking Charcoal black) attractive and my friends were like 'ure so wierd'LOL!!! As long as a guy looks and smells fresh,we're good to go!
P.S girls think really fair skinned guys are playboys!
Hello! I really love this blog. Tell me please – from where do you have information for ths post?