Published on April 16th, 2012 | by thetoolsman21
Living In A MATERIAL World
I know it’s a Monday morning and you’re probably really pissed off that you’re back at work but truth is, I am too and as a result I’m going to crave your indulgence while I just ramble on for a bit this morning.
So I’m gradually starting to settle into my unquestionable sentence of continuous ‘subbing about marriage’ every time I’m around my mother nowadays and come to think about it, it really isn’t so bad once you get used to it. In fact it’s almost always hilarious. For instance, I remember over the Easter break, my siblings and I were at my moms and my elder brother came with his new car. Mom was saying some prayers and thanking God for the car and out of nowhere, prayer switched to “as you are helping your son settle down and progressing towards marriage and starting a family, may you also help his younger brother find the right woman with qualities of a good wife”.
LOL. See, isn’t that kinda funny? Well, that’s how far into this I’ve come; instead of wondering where the – blip – did that come from? I stood there thinking about that term: ‘qualities of a good wife’ aka ‘Wifey Material’ and I thought to myself, English is a really messed up language isn’t it? I mean, they should have just made English like French where all the words/terms have a gender (un, une) because there are some phrases/terms in the English language you can easily tell which gender invented. Wife Material is such a masculine term (the women invented ‘walk of shame’ – but that’s story for another post) and I’m sure men of my fathers generation were cool with it but nowadays most men just read such terms and wonder – is it still relevant?
I mean, show me one chic, yes, ONE CHIC who doesn’t think she’s WIFE MATERIAL. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not talking about ‘Mommy Material’, I’ve met and I have friends who think they’ll make really shitty mothers but even my female friends who claim they’re not interested in marriage still think they’ll make excellent wives if it ever came down to it.
So why then do we bother?
Maybe we should revisit the term itself and hopefully we’ll be able to get some clarity. I mean what on earth is a ‘Wifey Material’ anyway? I guess twenty years ago, the answer to that would have been quite simple:
Well brought up (here’s another one I don’t get)
Fertile (Yes (._. ) )
And all the terms you add to your profile on any dating site…
I’m not yet married thankfully, but when the time comes for me to jump over the dreaded broom, I “think” I know what I’ll be looking out for when making that decision but in this world of MTV, Social Media, four-degrees-of-separation, is that even enough to base my success/failure of my choice of a wife on? I’m not suggesting that you embark on a fasting and prayer session neither am I asking you consult a Dibia.
In my search for answers, I once asked a friend of mine a few days to his wedding ‘how he knew she was the one’ and his answer was:
“Do you ever know nowadays? It was time and so I picked the best from the lot.”
And there I was thinking I was going to get variables with which I could make a ‘wifey formula/flowchart’. Sigh. But that just sums up my point. Gone are the days when most men could almost agree on one definition for the term ‘wifey material’, nowadays even the women do not agree on one; at least one can infer that from the fact that almost all women consider themselves wifey material.
From my interaction with old and younger married couples, one thing I’ve learnt is that you can’t take away that element of ‘luck’ in marriages. Even after pulling all the stops, you just never know till you get into it. So like I once read, “instead of focusing on being A great wife, women need to focus on being HIS great wife”. And that just makes perfect sense at least until all men can agree on a common definition for ‘wifey material’.
To the guys reading, do you have a definition for ‘wifey material’ and do you think there’s an abundance of women who meet your criteria out there? And to the women, do you think you’re ‘wifey material’, why are you so sure? You know the drill, use the comment box and speak your mind. Cheers.
Incase you missed it, yesterday, we gave away $1000 to KIAH, the winner of Season 1 of our online reality writing competition. Check out details here.