Special love_letter

Published on February 12th, 2013 | by Guest

59

The Love Letters: Letter #3

love_letter

****

LETTER #3: Hearts Across the Ocean (1/2)

by

@JadenTM

****

Paris reminds me of you. Couples kissing in the street, padlocking promises of forever on Pont de l’Archeveche, heads permanently raised as they mill around the Eiffel tower, mimicking love… The Parisian dream is what we learned love is, what we dreamed love looked like.

I can’t help it; I smile every time I come to visit because this beautiful city reminds me that you, my darling, are my dream. You are what love looks like to me.

I went on one of those all-in-one tours on my last trip, and when I asked where I could buy a padlock the tour guide asked me what a single mademoiselle wanted with it. I smiled. I’d only wanted to replace the one on my suitcase. I told him instead, that there was so much love in the Paris air that I had fallen in love with it, and now there’s a big red padlock in the middle of nowhere to prove it. Hey, I hear red is the colour of love.

Every day I’m away from you feels odd. It’s been six months (!!!) since I took this job, and I still wake up every morning with that thing in my belly. It’s like a butterfly – just the one – and all it does is hop around excitedly, counting down the minutes, waiting until I see you to fly.

I still check my phone every minute, waiting for your words to read, “dinner tonight, lover?” instead of the incessant “I-miss-you’s”. I still go home from work everyday nursing the dregs of my disappointment, but then I dream of you like I did last night…

In my dream you were next to me. I had said my prayers, washed my face and was curled up on my side with my eyes closed, waiting for sleep and thinking of you (as one does). Then you were there, your stomach pressed to my back, your fingers running up my arms, and my sides. I burrowed into you, so warm, but I didn’t turn around and I didn’t open my eyes. You just held me, and when I woke up you were gone. But your side of the bed was warm.

Was it my fault? When you said, “Go, follow your dreams,” and I rolled my eyes at you for borrowing a massive cliché in such an emotional moment. After you laughed and kissed me. All the times you didn’t say anything, just looked at me with your words in your heart and your heart in your eyes.

When I said yes, took the offer, found an apartment. How about then? And if not then, if it wasn’t my fault yet, maybe after I discovered I loved it here? The travelling, the winter clothes, the amazing, intimidatingly intelligent people I am surrounded by every day?

Or maybe not. Maybe it was after you took the job that took you away from everyone for days at a time; that took you away from MTN and GLO, away from T-Mobile and Lebara. Did I do that?

You’ll laugh. You’ll say, “Hi, Urkel,” but you’ll never say, “Yes, it was your fault. You did this to us.”

Remember that day, when you were going offshore and you called me, and I couldn’t hear you? I could hear the water, but not your voice. I could hear the breeze, but not your words, and then the line cut off. I threw myself on the floor and screamed in frustration (like the drama queen you know I am), and I cried myself into a state of immobility. I wasn’t going to move, I told myself; not until you got off that blasted rig and called me again and told me you loved me at least a dozen times, would I get up off the marble. I must have dozed off, because it was late when I heard you whisper, “I love you.” I heard the water again, but this time your words came with it. “I love you, I love you, I love you,” you said, and I counted four. “I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you,” you said, and the lone butterfly fluttered (it must be a red butterfly, I’ve decided.) “I love you, I love you, I love you.” When I got up there were no tears in my eyes.

You’re not on the rig now. I could call you. I will call you. But aren’t words so beautiful? I do this little thing sometimes, when I’m transcribing an interview or polishing up an article. I pull my lids close together, but not quite shut, not quite enough for a squint. I do it just enough to blur my sight, and I watch the hazy words merge into themselves on the screen. Every line is like a brush stroke, every paragraph a new figure. I stare at the art before my eyes and I smile; none of this was there a minute earlier, I did this.

I did this.

But it’s your fault, too.

Hey. Remember when you met me? Remember how defensive I was, how scared I was? Remember when I used to think I’d never be good enough? It was you who taught me to believe in myself.

And by loving me, you showed me what it means to be entirely devoted to another human being. You taught me what love was. My darling, you teach me what love is. Hey, remember when you became the only thing that mattered?

It’s your fault for loving me so hard. You made me believe I could be anything, that I could go anywhere and be the best at everything I touched. It’s your fault for being there for me through every tantrum and every fit, for sitting with me when I cried, and mopping my salty face with your lips. It’s your fault for being the best part of everything I do right, Olisa. You did this.

You’re calling me. I knew you would. Don’t even try to stop me.

 

Hey lover.

It’s Valentine’s Day soon. I’m coming home.

 ****


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About the Author



59 Responses to The Love Letters: Letter #3

  1. christabel says:

    First!!!!

  2. @LanrayBadmon says:

    good..long

  3. @cereal264 says:

    WOW!!!!!!
    Im in awe at this piece and the writer…

  4. TheBoombox says:

    So sexy.

    • thetoolsman says:

      Stop stealing my words.. First thing I said first time I read this.. it's 'simply sexy'.. almost strange because I don't know if that's what the writer was trying to achieve but sigh… sexy!

  5. Almond says:

    Awww!!! This is so sweet!!

  6. tracey says:

    nice, very nice…waiting for the reply.

  7. TheAlchemist says:

    "padlocking Parisian promises of forever on Pont de l’Archeveche"

    Consonance for the win.

    Excellently written.

  8. Lillyanne says:

    Awwwn, wipes lone tear

  9. JT says:

    Awww. My eyes are brimming. So sweet. I loved someone across the ocean once, 5 yrs on and off but then he came home and daddy didn’t think I was good enough. I have to say it was worth it tho. Amazing piece

  10. @s_Hotzs says:

    Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwnnnnnnnnnnnnnn *Yes seize my G Card*

  11. shangytee says:

    Simply beautiful. Bookmarked.

  12. Nwanyi says:

    It is high time you guys had a like button for your posts o!!! Commenting sometimes is never enough.

  13. tinymaDAMIE says:

    Awwww. :')….. My eyes are brimming…

  14. amala pupa says:

    “it’s your fault…” I’m reading this and smiling…

  15. Drpeperempe says:

    How I felt few months back but now I've moved home so it's a little better!

  16. loo says:

    "Am coming home………………………….. Beautiful splendid!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! can't wait to see the reply
    LDR can be the best if you allow it to be

  17. slim says:

    I’m a little confused, but…

    The words remind me of sea and ocean spray.

    So it’s alright.

  18. ranchosblog says:

    @Alchemist You wrote a 9 word assonance and a 10 word alliteration in your post yesterday on Chronicles of Dania. Brilliant man, and yet so modest.

    Touching post mehn! Juxtaposing this with what's happening in my life, I want to weep manly tears of pain. But no. Real Gs don't cry.

    The emotions in this letter. Le sigh™. Twisting my guts into a stringy mess of wistfulness and pain. I know how the character feels. I know. Sometimes, I wish I don't.

    Brilliantly written. Thanks for bringing back the memories.

  19. tommie says:

    Abegi! is anyone writing me a love letter?

  20. @IHateBanky says:

    I am suddenly filled with so much sap :')

  21. @Sirkastiq says:

    Distance is still a bitch.

  22. jayajade says:

    really loved this!! beautifully written…..
    not crying, but sad and happy for her at the same time….

  23. lade says:

    this letter took the words out of my mouth, ..emotions that i am living right now, if only the last sentence was my reality……

    "Hey lover.

    It’s Valentine’s Day soon. I cant come home yet, but soon i'll be home, ……and it'll be one unending valentine…i promise"

  24. Sheila says:

    wow…*sniff sniff*

    • Olatoxic says:

      I couldn't get the word 'beautiful' out of my head but I believe the more apt adjective is "Wow". Yeah, wow works great.

  25. obema says:

    :) beautiful writing…this right here is doin tinz to my insides

  26. obema says:

    :) beautiful writing…this right here is doing tinz to my insides

  27. nkechiola says:

    Nice write up, looks the type to be written with a quill…but too long.

  28. . . . the times you didn’t say anything, just looked at me with your words in your heart and your heart in your eyes.

    . . .simple subtle sweet disposition.

  29. maya davies says:

    *sigh* had forgotten what true love felt like till I read this…beautiful

  30. Frankices says:

    Until I got to the words “drama queen”, I thot the person was male. I don’t know why.

    *sigh*

  31. SlevinCalevra says:

    Damn…

  32. LaLa says:

    LOVE <3<3

  33. JK_McDazzles says:

    Awww..Pains of distance..

  34. flicka says:

    (•̩̩̩̩͡_•̩̩̩̩͡) fits like a pair of gloves

  35. Kopho Jomo says:

    well…distance d bitch messed up my love….dis is lovely

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