The Love Letters: Letter #5
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LETTER #5: Old Words, Still True (1/2)
by
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From: Tracy Thomas <tracytee@xyzmail.com>
To: Bolarinwa Thomas <bola.thomas@xyzmail.com>
Sent: Wednesday, Feb 13, 2013, 10:24AM
Subject: Please help send
<Hide quoted text>
Hey Bola, having a good morning so far? Sorry I ran out of the house without coming to your room or saying anything this morning. I was late for the flight and I didn’t want to wake you. I even forgot some things… but I should be okay.
I got to the office and my editor started asking me to make some changes to this manuscript. It seems ironic that I’m writing a book on relationships, considering our current wahala but… it is what it is. Point is, I need some help. Do you still have a copy of your wedding vows? I know you emailed it to me before we used them, but you know I closed that account down, so I can’t find it.
Please, help me find a copy and mail it as soon as you can. I kinda need it.
Thanks.
Tracy.
Date: Feb 13, 2013 12:18PM
Reply From: Bolarinwa Thomas <bola.thomas@xyzmail.com>
To: Tracy Thomas <tracytee@xyzmail.com>
Subject: Re: Please help send
“I love you. More than just words, these three letters say all there is to know about us. All the way to the moon, as big as the sky, my love for you spans a distance the head can’t comprehend. But my heart can. So today, I speak these vows as my heart writes a cheque to be cashed over the course of the life I want to spend with you…”
Of all the things you could’ve asked me to send to you, it had to be this?
I don’t even know.
I thought I’d be able to just attach the file but I just had to open it and read everything I said… everything I thought would be —
I am not angry anymore… I’m not.
Anyway, so Tolu called this morning. He wants to know when he should meet up with your lawyer (what’s her face? I always forget) so we can start working through this whole process. I’m guessing she’s going to want me to move out of the house for you (which definitely is not happening), but I’m sure we can sort everything when you finally get back into town. I can’t believe we’re actually talking about ending this… after all’s said and done…
*sigh* … how did we even get here?
“I promise to love you even after I’ve grown bald… which may not be too long, judging from what we’ve seen so far. I promise to love you even when you yell at me ‘cos my feet stink or because I’ve left too many dishes in the kitchen sink.”
You laughed a lot when I said that; the whole church did.
But you made me laugh… sometimes it felt like I spent most of my days laughing at something you were saying, or laughing to myself about something I remembered that you’d said. You brought sunlight into my life.
Then you ripped it all away.
Why? Why’d you do it? I’ve asked you this question a million times haven’t I? Since the day I mistakenly took your phone to work and found out, in between forks-full of spaghetti on the dining table, with a toothbrush in my mouth while I’m standing in front of our bathroom mirror, driving us to church on a Sunday morning, where Pastor Mfon would be waiting to “counsel” us…
Sometimes, I think I’ve forgiven you. I think I’ve forgotten; but then something else brings it out. Two days ago, I met a young new engineer we just recruited at the office that is his namesake. Olisa. He introduced himself and shook my hand, and then commented, “Firm handshake you’ve got there”. He didn’t realize that I’d tightened my grip so I wouldn’t punch him in the face.
Sometimes, I think I’ve forgotten, and then you do something like ask me to send you the vows I wrote and said to you three years ago, in front of all those people; in front of God whom you claimed to love even more than you loved me. I read what I wrote and it breaks me.
“I stand before you, to give you my world; before God and man, I pledge to you this day, my life… my whole life.
I promise to be yours; t’ire nikan soso. Your man, your husband; olowo ori t’ire, in words and in deeds; I promise to love you, come what may.
I promise to stand by you. I promise to support you; to be your pillar when you get weak.”
Wasn’t that enough? Wasn’t I enough? Five years, three of them married; wasn’t I enough? Did I stop paying attention? Didn’t I tell you how beautiful you were? Didn’t I listen to every word that left your lips? Was it my fault? Was it something I said? Was it something I forgot to do?
No; I’m not going to do this again.
How am I supposed to do it? You ask me to stay; to forgive you, “It was a mistake… I never wanted to hurt you.” … I want to believe you. But I don’t know anymore. How am I supposed to stay? How am I supposed to kiss you and know that the tip of your tongue flicked across another man’s upper lip? How am I meant to wake up next to you, knowing that you broke the most important thing we had?
“I promise to keep my eyes on you. I promise to keep my heart for you. I promise to keep my mind on you. I promise to keep my body, just for you.”
What happened to this? Our vows were the same, here. I remember you said the same words when you got to this part of yours and I thought it was so amazing that we’d written the exact same thing. But what happened to that promise?
I know… I know I’m not supposed to dwell on it. You’re probably reading this email, telling yourself how this wasn’t what we discussed with Pastor Mfon yesterday. But right now, reading this just brought back everything… all the pain. I still want us to work things out, and fight for everything we were. I still want us to come to a place where I can forgive you, and we can put this behind us and move on.
I still… want to love you.
Anyway, I’ve attached the full file… I hope it helps with your manuscript.
Bolarinwa
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Related Posts
Aso-Ebi: Episode 9: Gele To Le →
Letters (2/2) →
Aso-Ebi: Episode 8 – Double George Wrappers →
Aha !!
first?
j'spere que je serai le 1st
Oho
the pain is real…
i can feel it miles away :'(
as in en
Beautifulllll urgh such love that hurts
Good grief….
This is the realest thing I've read thus far. This is real life.
I agree
I cant get over it, its just beautiful…… he sounds like someone ripped his heart out, and even the empty space still ached for her….. sigh
"I still… want to love you."
This.
THIS!!!!!!
That statement utterly destroyed me, B. Gosh!
this
……#DEEP!!!!!
A man TRULY in love…
I find this letters growing from each stage. High school -> young lovers -> married/ about to divorce->… Anticipating the next one.
My thoughts exactly…
I love this!!!
The 'Love Letters' series I think is my fave so far…..I have a lot of faves on here… oh well!
This right here is why men are aloof in relationships. They don’t want to hurt like this.
Personally, I believe cheating on your partner is the worst thing you can do to him, save from him finding out about it. It is the highest form of disrespect.
Are you saying it isn’t the worst thing you can do to a woman?! Both ways, cheating on your partner is barbaric! God help us the married folks
Wow!!!!!! Chilly air just ran through my body…. This is… magnificent. I feel so sorry for Bolarinwa
i feel his pain. the vows are beautiful. Panda is amazing
*Sigh* Wipes Tears……………….Thanks for ruining my day Panda
I am sorry i dont mean to take the anger out on you but but…………….NVM
Some people have it all and they just throw it away, if it were with someone superior then i had understand, but that low ebb imbecile secretary; Why?
Damn
Yemi oooo
ThAnk You!this letter is helping me 2 forgive .my mind iS So renewed!
This is probably the best comment I’ve seen today.
I’m glad to know that my writing could help you, even if it was something contrived.
-Bless-
Brilliant
the man sounds so pained…………i just want to hug him and tell him all will be well.
cute vows thou>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
EYA
If this wasn't a man's story (with the marriage commitment thrown in) I'd have said I wrote this…
Why wasn't I enough for you? :( Why?!
A question a lot of us (male and female) ask
I'm not married, yeah, buh i can totally relate to this! And I ask myself everyday how it got to this point…where did all the love go? Or did i imagine there was? Maybe I should finally write about it…maybe…
So, Panda can write this beautifully… and it’s not even “seeezhual”(in a ghenghen voice) as would have been expected.
Well done.
*chuckle* EVERYTHING IS SEGGGSHHHIUUUAAALLLL!!!!!
:)
Beautiful vows right there…
Can't wait to read her reply.
Damn!
God! God!! God!!! This made me cry!! Its so beautiful,so sad. This Love thing…I dunno…my God!
Observe calm down woman
:') I love eeet. Waiting to read the reply!
*tears* if only men could he this real!
Oh? We're not?
I tire oh
Wow! Divorce is d most painful thing. Ild rather not get married.
*shrugs* Never gon' be in this situation
#bossbehaviour
Never say never. Never ever…
:')
Beautiful post!
and I see what you guys did there o!
Skilly Handsome from L1 is the girl in paris from L3's brother.
Chioma from L2 is the daughter of Olisa( from L4's) boss
Bolarinwa here now met the Olisa from L4 whos is namesake with the guy his wife cheated with ba?
Well done. Una try.
Good to know someone is actually reading ………LOL
Thank you .. Thank you for this..
@Panda.
Just so you know, i have a huge crush on you.
If i didn't have a man, i would have……….*deep sigh* ☆ ★
Oh? Erm… but… I've got a woman myself so… yeah…
:)
//_O
LAAAAAAAAAAAL
lmao!!!!!!!!! Ela Oju kan
my oh my….feel like giving B. a hug.
the writers for this series are doing an amaaaazing job!
can't wait for Tee's response
This letter mimicked the state of my heart and that's why it hurt so much to read it. But I suppose that's why it's so powerful- because it captured the pain of a good love gone bad. Heavy.
Enter text right here!Wish I could send this hauntingly beautiful piece to daddy.Miss U DBA!
Great work panda-my twitter crush * *
I'm your twitter-crush? Hmmmm….
*sigh* Beautiful….. This Panda dude….
*siiiigggghhh*
*chuckle*
Great! Just great!
The realest of d series so far….a true love story.wish I cld tell him it will be fyn.soooo sad n true….finding dis and losing it???damn gurl
This (almost) brings back the pain
But then, I put my hand over the scar
And remember not the pain
But the healing
Well done, Panda. This is beautiful. And real. So real.
Are you gonna rise tho?
LMFAO Kelvin u need caging
But is he gonna rise?
Written by a man.
Posts like this.. yup, thats why we created TNC..
You wan dey proud?
Awww. this is beautiful.. is Yemi single?? I mean.. ah ah!!! *tears* *Sigh*
I had been looking forward to Panda’s letter, because Panda is good with things like this. He didn’t disappoint.
“How am I supposed to kiss you and know that the tip of your tongue flicked across another man’s upper lip?”
(º̩̩́_º̩̩̀)
I promise to keep my eyes on you.
I promise to keep my heart for you.
I promise to keep my mind on you.
I promise to keep my body, just for you".
..this for me brought the tears..
brilliant writing.
Wow. Such depth in Boluwatife's feelings.
Made my heart skip many times. Literally.
How could
she be writing a book about relationships though?!!
*Bolarinwa.
Don't even ask me where Boluwatife came from! :/
The vows tho…
I never cry… I never cry… why the hell has this prose affected me so?
Sigh.
Wow! Touching, very touching. Hmmm…, betryal is like an open wound that never gets healed. I relate to this cause I have been there. Forgiveness… That's the hardest part but we should no matter how hard it is cause only then can the healing process begin.
this piece is beautiful
Choice of words….BRILLIANT!!!
i felt the pain all through. The essence of staying true to your vows. Why get into the mess and spend the rest of one's life in regret ( pains of disappointing your faithful partner, family and yourself)
wow… just wow…..
veey real
How I'd love to see the reply. Panda is a genius
Panda…chaii…back to Panda….this is great!