Through last week and over the weekend, so many things went down and I really had a challenge deciding on what to write on for today. From Miss Van der woodsen and Mr. Van Wilder’s (Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds) secret wedding to Diva tantrums from Mariah Carey and J.Lo, there was quite a lot to pick from but one story several writers especially in the black community chose to ride on was that of Wyclef Jean, and the several revelations about Lauryn Hill in his recently published autobiography, titled Purpose: An Immigrant’s Story.
While I wait for the guys at Amazon to ship in my copy, I took time to comb through the interwebs to dig up as much as I could find on this book and from what I gathered, it is an interesting read. For the youngin’s reading, I’m very sure Wyclef isn’t one artist that’ll come to mind when you think, hip-hop. I’m sure some will only be able to judge him based on his recent collaborations with some of our local artists. However, for those who knew the awesomeness that was the Fugees and those who experienced the brilliance of The Score and The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill, you know that Wyclef Jean is certainly one artist/producer who will always get a mention when going through the history of Hip-hop.
True Fugees fans knew about the affair between Clef and Lauryn. Call it loyalty or whatever but even till today, some people won’t refer to what they had going on as an “affair” despite the fact that Clef, at the time, was married to Marie Claudinette. I guess most people were just happy the Fugees were putting out great music and since Marie wasn’t ‘complaining’ about it, it was all honky dory.
The Fugees went on to break up, Lauryn had a super successful solo album and then she went all cuckoo on us. She got in a relationship with Rohan Marley and spoke about how she wanted to have as many as thirteen kids. She became very erratic, cancelling shows, insulting fans and every attempt made by Clef and even Pras, the third member of the group, to bring them back together just never worked. I guess I sorta knew there was more to it all but since no one had the facts, nothing happened. Well, not until now. Wyclef made some serious revelations in his book and the two most interesting ones were:
- He thought Zion, Lauryn’s first son was his until he was born and turned out to be a “yellow” baby.
- He loved Lauryn Hill and his wife at the same time.
Some writers decided to focus on the first point accusing Clef of possibly bringing up the paternity issue only because he wants to push sales of his book but personally, I don’t really see anything wrong with that. It’s been sixteen years and more importantly, Lauryn is no longer with Rohan, if anything at all, Wyclef is the one still married to Claudinette so he’s the one who stands to lose more.
I’m more interested in the second point. Well, because I’m a romantic head like that -___-. Seriously though, I think I’ve written too many posts on how ‘fickle’ I think our ‘definition’ of the term ‘love’ is. I’ve publicly stated that I DO NOT think it is possible to be IN LOVE with more than one person at the same time but I must say, after reading the excerpt from Wyclef’s book, it seems Mr. Jean makes a strong case for those who believe it’s possible to love more than one person at once. He says:
I spent all my time with either one or the other of them, you know what I mean? Lauryn and I were pursuing a dream together, and that goal, as well as our mutual love of music, was the language that brought us together. And there was an attraction there; I’m not going to lie and act as if it was just because we spent time together that we ended up together. Lauryn’s beautiful, and because of her looks and her talent and everything we shared with each other — from songs to books to lyrics — love was bound to grow. I was with both of these incredible women at the same time, which isn’t something to be proud of but it was definitely unavoidable. I couldn’t say no to either of them. I mean it when I say I loved them both, because I did. I knew this situation couldn’t last, but I didn’t care; I was going to try to work it for as long as I could. And I think most men in my position would have done the same.
See why I decided to pick this over the first point? I read this excerpt right after I read some paper put out by a Psychology Prof talking about how monogamy isn’t natural. Here’s an excerpt from that:
Dr. Anderson argues that monogamy is not natural for most people, especially men. In his opinion, most men can sleep around without developing significant emotional attachment to women outside of their relationship. While this does not account for all men, some committed men simply want to sleep around without the intention of ever developing a connection beyond the physical, what he calls “recreational sex.”
Recreational Sex? Is that you Lauryn? Ouch. That’s just all kinds of wrong but I’ll save that for another post. Right now, lets focus on Clef’s revelation. Here’s another bit:
It’s going to be easy for people to read this and say, “Why did he do that to Lauryn? How could he not go with her? He broke up the Fugees!” I wish it were that easy to explain away, but it’s not. Claudinette was with me when I had nothing, and she stood by me and helped me to be the man that I have become — the man I wouldn’t have been without her.
He says he was in love with both women for two completely different reasons. Lauryn for the music, Claudinette for her strength, for being there from the start. Now, when you put it this way, maybe, just maybe, it paints a better picture for those who claim to be in love with two people at the same time. But before we jump to this conclusion, I’d like to ask, is this the same thing as a sista saying she ‘loves’ two guys, one for the money and the other for the sex?
Because if this is what people mean when they talk about love then I guess as far as I’m concerned, it just brings us back to where we started: a lot of DO NOT know what love is.
Ofcourse Clef went on to marry Claudinette and event though he strayed after their wedding, they are still married. I must say though, as far as I’m concerned, this doesn’t mean she’s his “true love”. At this point, I’m sure some of you would like to see what Marie looks like, so let me save you the Internet bandwidth:
Claudinette side by side with El Boogie (Lauryn)
To those who thought she was probably hotter or something like that, well, I guess you can see that there’s not too much difference in terms of looks/physique for both women. So this brings us to today’s discussion. Do you agree with Wyclef? Do you think it’s possible to love more than one person at a time? If so, please explain what kind of love you’re referring to. You know the drill, use the comment box and express you.