Men Are From Easy, Women Are From Interesting

There’s so much discussion about what makes us different, that we tend to forget that we — men and women — have many of the same feelings, fears, and emotions. And, instead of looking at the opposite gender as a person with a few biological differences, we sometimes act like we’re dealing with an entirely different species.

This paragraph is a response to a question a woman asked a while back. She wanted me the name the most common mistake women make in relationships, and instead of going gender-specific with the answer, I wanted to touch on something that affects both of us.

With that being said, even though I do still think that the “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” way of thinking causes more harm than good, there are (general) differences between us, these general differences do definitely matter, and an experience last weekend made of think of one very important (general) difference that I hadn’t really thought of before.

I was at a club Saturday night with a group of friends. Two of these friends happen to be a couple, and since I’m the resident “mediator” — and since, according to one of them, I turn into a “Black Bill from “Kill Bill” when I’m intoxicated (still haven’t figured out if that was a compliment) — they asked for my opinion about a disagreement they were having.

They’re both in a local MBA program, and they have a couple weeks left before the grind starts back up again. The guy wants to spend this time chillin at home, hanging out, and just generally doing the type of mundane relationship shit that’s great if you’re in a relationship with someone you actually like. Basically, he just wants to relax until school starts.

She, on the other hand, thinks they should take a trip together. Apparently, she just got an outrageously cheap deal on some tickets, and she wants to go somewhere, anywhere, before school starts and they don’t have the opportunity to travel as easily.

Both had compelling arguments. He just wanted a chance to exhale for another week or so before shit got hectic again, and she’s thinking “Why waste this time doing something that we can do whenever?”

At this point, other members of the group began to chime in. Predictably, all of the men sided with the guy, while the women agreed with the woman. My epiphany came when hearing the following exchange:

Man (addressing the women): “Why y’all always gotta make things so hard?”

Woman: “What’s hard about a damn vacation? Can you all not be so damn lazy all the time?”

After a few more increasingly spirited replies, it dawned on me: (Generally speaking) We (men) want life to be easy. Women want life to be interesting.

It wasn’t some male solidarity that made all the men in the group agree that staying home was the most attractive option. It’s just that, if given a choice between relaxing for a week or going on a trip just for the sake of going on a trip, most guys would probably choose to chill. It’s less work, it’s less time-consuming, and it’s less hard.

And, while the trip discussion is the current example, this state of mind permeates pretty much everything we do. There’s a reason why so many guys fall in love with the first cute girl who’s nice to us, why we have no problem eating the exact same thing for dinner four days straight, and why many of us list “chillin” — the word to describe what happens when you’re not doing an activity — as one of our favorite activities. We like easy because “easy” usually means “less potential for pain.” We’re not avoiding effort, we just prefer putting ourselves in positions where we can predict the outcome.

Basically, you can say that we’re avoiding pain. Women, on the other hand, don’t seem to be as afraid of the unknown. You could even say that they embrace the unknown, the potential for pain, because it’s engrained in them. I’ve joked before about women being natural masochists, but when you think about it, many of the things separating women from men are inherently and excruciatingly painful.

Think about it. Unless a man happens to find himself in a scene from a Eli Roth flick, we will never experience the level of pain a woman does when she gives birth. Actually, lemme rephrase that. We will never experience that level of pain…and actually survive and recover…and willingly do it again!

We’ll also never have a sexual experience as painful and awkward and bloody as many women do when they first have sex. We’ll never know how it feels to spend 20% of every month randomly cramping up and continuously bleeding, and we definitely won’t know how it feels to have another person growing inside of you, kicking, scratching, growing, and feeding off of you like a parasite.

And, according to what I’ve heard from many women, the best sex, the toe curl and full body quiver inducing sex is usually also somewhat violent. Not violent in the getting punched or shaken sense, but violent in the getting f*cked sense. (There’s a reason why every little kid who walks in on his parents having sex initially thinks Daddy is beating up Mommy.)

Everything I just mentioned, though, is thought to be a positive thing, and I do think that having pain and joy so closely correlated makes it so that they’re almost on a permanent rush. The need to always be doing something, for life to always be interesting is them attempting to extend that high, and the main reason why, to paraphrase Chris Rock, (most) women can never be truly content. We, on the other hand, all still remember the little bit of pain we felt 20 years ago when Jasmine Porter gave Jimmy a Valentine’s Day card instead of us, and we follow the path of least resistance from that moment forward…which is another way of saying we do everything possible to make sure we never, ever, ever experience pain again.

Oh, and getting back to the couple, I suggested that they split the difference and just spend the week in a hotel. This way you’re getting away and chillin at the same. damn. time. An easy, painless answer, but since I’m a man, you shouldn’t expect anything else from me.

Ok so what do you guys think? Should I just file this under my ‘failed theory’ folder or does someone out there feel me? Use the comment box to express you.

Post By: The Champ.

Comments
  • ro33ah

    First!!! o/

    I'm so sorry ( ,_,)

    May 6, 2013
  • SECOONNND!!

    May 6, 2013
  • eddyzyl

    Wow…insightful! Haven't looked at it from this angle befor….its not a failed thoery!

    May 6, 2013
  • lol, I LIKE and AGREE! We want life to be interesting, and we don't mind pain because we learn early to deal with it. And WHY oh WHY do we always have to beg guys to go on holiday? It's so annoying *checks prices of tickets to Spain, sends boo the 20th email* lol

    Really nice article.

    May 6, 2013
    • Boo probably has that sort of email going to spam automatically. hehehe

      May 6, 2013
  • Terdoh

    Yeah. Really nice article.

    May 6, 2013
    • @Sirkastiq

      Yeah, Really nice article.

      May 6, 2013
      • Make una wait till weekend and sunday/saturday news jare!

        May 6, 2013
        • lordfiddler

          Yeah, really nice comment.

          May 6, 2013
  • Truth, I would definitely tread the path of least stress.

    May 6, 2013
  • thisboyperforms

    "We’re not avoiding effort, we just prefer putting ourselves in positions where we can predict the outcome."

    Best. Line. Ever.

    May 6, 2013
    • lordfiddler

      I agree with this cos Lord know's I'm not lazy when it comes down to it… But I won't just go on an energy-burning mission that's not sure to be a cash-stashing endeavour eventually…Naturally!
      Back to the line… It's pure!

      May 6, 2013
      • What about happiness-stashing endeavour? A relationship is not a business biko! The bottom-line is not almighty…

        May 7, 2013
  • mimsie

    She wants to go on a vacation, do something fun and different, sight-seeing etc and you suggested chilling in a hotel? Failed theory biko.

    May 6, 2013
    • Ever heard of compromise in a relationship before?

      May 6, 2013
  • BimboPee

    Hmmm. It makes sense sha. Hmmm

    May 6, 2013
  • I love LOVE this article. I've never had this sort of view before, and it's an eye-opener. WOW!

    I'm currently undergoing a busy masters program. We had a 4-week break during the Easter, and I had the opportunity to travel for 2 weeks. I also had enough cash for it. I thought about it for a while, considered the process of applying for a visa, getting hotel booking, buying tickets, travelling ish…and I just decided to stay back home, eat, sleep, relax, and hopefully put on some weight. And that's what I did. I stayed at home during those 4 weeks, mostly alone. I ate well, slept well, played a few games, did other relaxing ish, but NEVER STRESSED MYSELF.

    May 6, 2013
  • 1demola

    I read "Apparently, she just got an outrageously cheap deal on some tickets". But really who is going to pay for the vacation? I don't think that was mentioned cos that might be an issue you know? But that aside, I totally agree with the 'men are easy, women are interesting' phrase. Just perfect

    May 6, 2013
  • And this is why women regularly go for the bad boys? Cos they're exciting. But the good, safe, caring guy is regularly ignored and kept in friend zone. hehehehe. This life!

    May 6, 2013
    • emmonfclassic

      and also stick with guys that pummel them and decorate them with eye bags hoping he would change and love them someday.

      May 6, 2013
      • lordfiddler

        This comment just has beef written all over it… I mean, come on!! The boring, safe, docile brother has been known to throw a punch or two at a perceived "weaker sex" on occasion. That SO has nothing to do with the affinity for adventure or reclusion inherent in that person! That's just a result of bad (weak) morals and thin-trip-lines…#IMO.

        May 6, 2013
        • emmonfclassic

          lolz…..love some tender beef!!. Cmon man, am just experimenting thetheory by toolsman. *women have a high pain threshold*

          May 6, 2013
  • ijebuPrincess

    Oh well!just another way to look at things.

    May 6, 2013
  • Imagine how much more interesting "Think like a man, act like a woman" would be if Steve Harvey had implemented this awesome theory. hehehe

    May 6, 2013
  • Madam

    I just want to know where you people meet Women who like Interesting and Men who like Easy. Most of the Men I know are very fascinated with interesting things. They don’t want to settle, they get bored with “easy tasks”, they keep coming up with very bright ideas and how to to try new things. Whereas, the females I know are into “Easy” especially the ones in relationships. When they go on trips, they want to spend their time relaxing and shopping unlike the men who want to try out new things and sight-see and do interesting things.

    Yes, I know some will argue “Easy” and “Interesting” are relative but I really think Women like it “Easy” and Men like it “Interesting.”

    May 6, 2013
    • highlandblue

      LOL I'm happy I found someone who commented on my behalf. I think it depends on the environment. If you think your environment is too exciting, you wanna get away and chill. Meanwhile seeing as man is never content, if your environment is calm, you want something racy to escape the boredom.

      Balancing act

      May 6, 2013
  • chuka

    I couldn't agree more with your postulations..men; easy….women;interesting

    Irrespective of how relative the terms seem to be, your stance and arguement
    Kinda holds water….

    I concur; and I second too….

    May 6, 2013
  • Totally agree. You put it so well

    May 6, 2013
  • emmonfclassic

    The theory is valid. Men always prefer going easy and being calculative(evaluating the energy and efforts to be channelled into something and whether it is even worth it. I remember my mum used to say "emmy you are always using formular"

    May 6, 2013
  • maya davies

    So true….i may have avoided a few relationships simply because they seemed like they would become boring (d guys just weren't interesting enough). This theory totally explains why guys wud just rather sit on their couch and "hang out"

    May 6, 2013
    • …and the ladies would put in extra work intro dressing up and going to the theatre or restaurant or club. 🙂

      May 6, 2013
      • emmonfclassic

        hehe….counter attack.

        May 6, 2013
  • kophojomo

    Easy is boring…same old easy, same old laid back, same old fun-less, same old lazy bum….

    May 6, 2013
    • emmonfclassic

      you can always do something hard the easy way.

      May 6, 2013
      • kophojomo

        hmmmm…

        May 6, 2013
  • ini

    ……and no, easy does not mean LAZY. Some lazy ass brother will read this post & go 'baby, u see why i just like to chill and nt stress so much? It is all 'cos its in my dna!' Ta!

    May 6, 2013
  • tomipo

    Nice Piece….

    A classic Guy will always choose:

    -Positions where we can predict the
    outcome.

    -Path of least resistance.

    May 6, 2013
  • Belle Dame

    We (men) want life to be easy. Women want life to be interesting. <—– Hmmmmm….

    Compromise solves a lot of issues…

    May 6, 2013
  • There’s no theory in a relationship ‘cept for compromise. A man can’t want it easy all the time and a woman can’t want it interesting or rather adventourous all the time. So when he deserves his ‘easy’ time give it to him and when she deserves her ‘interesting’ time give it to her and there will be peace in the land! Come to think of it, a vacation is part of being ‘easy’ :p…… Now u guys can murder me! the

    May 7, 2013
  • joiedevivre

    hmm.intresting.this theory seems to hold water but then im wonderin bout smethin. Does ur theory have an age limit? Seems like dis pattern changes when both sexes grow older. Or else why do men when they hit 45 or older, tend to go on 'intresting' adventures; activities like bungee jumping or like dating a 20 yr old hot chick cos deir wife has become too easy or boring for them,while women are content to stay at home, relax and just chill?Bottom line: does this theory have an age limit?

    May 7, 2013
  • Bless ur soul!!! @joiedevivre! There’s really no theory. b

    May 8, 2013
  • I'm hungry

    May 9, 2013
  • The personality of the people involved also matters. If the lady is an introvert and the guy an extrovert then I’m sure the theory won’t hold much water. But then many introverts are known to have a freaky unassuming side that can challenge the nature of even the most extroverted person. The theory makes sense though but it may just end up being the exception and not the rule itself.

    May 9, 2013
  • ibidapo

    lol good article your couple friends need to chill

    May 15, 2013
  • shopsydoodle

    whoever said chilling was easy?

    June 1, 2013
Post a Comment