Published on January 16th, 2013 | by Dami Oyedele53
Ms. Career Woman vs. Ms. Homemaker
Hey people, Toolsman here to make a quick announcement before we get into today’s dialogue. So I mentioned at the start of the year that we’ll be adding some new members to the team. I know some of y’all have written to tell us we have too many men on the team so we’ve gone out to bring in some
emotions exciting women onboard. Please join me as we welcome Miss Dami Oyedele to the TNC team *insert applause*. I’m going to be taking a step back from Wednesday Dialogue for a bit while Sheila and Dami drive the conversations (and they promised not too over emotionalize things here). But not to worry, I’ll be back with more announcements soon so you’ll know what they have planned for me. Now back to the ladies.
Ms. Highflying Career Woman.
There’s a thrill that comes from getting the job done – at my day job. I feel validated when a hard-to-please senior colleague says “good job!” There’s a warm contentment that slides from my head to my heart when, after slaving over a presentation for days, I finally get a nod and a smile of approval from my team lead. I feel alive; all is right with the world.
Can I be honest with you for a few minutes? I wish more of us would step up and tell ourselves the truth.
If I have a disagreement with my colleagues, we all understand that it’s just business. We deal with it, I put it behind me and I go home to peace and quiet. I can afford to splurge whenever I want to, on whatever I want – no questions asked, no one to report to, and there are no children whose future I feel guilty about shortchanging for a pair (or two) of red bottoms. My schedule is mine. And, no in-laws! As if tiptoeing around my own family is not enough work.
I am an intelligent woman. I love my job, and I am good at it – some days I’m even great – and very soon I will be giving my boss a run for his money! Why would I choose to put the work side of my brain into voluntary, early retirement? Just the thought of it gives me shivers.
Can anyone guarantee that I will get this much joy and peace of mind from being a wife and mother? I don’t know oh. What I do know is that I want to ride this high for as long as I can, without being interrupted.
I honestly do not understand why anyone thinks being a housewife is not a good thing. To be honest being a housewife is full time job and a very fulfilling one as well. Young women today are in a hurry to make it big on their own, I hear them quoting lines on being the next tycoons and ‘mogullettes’ of their generation and very few talk about building homes with happy husbands and well trained children. Truth is, I am one of the few that wants to be a housewife while my friends seem to make a conscious effort not to identify with the stigma of being a housewife.
In our Nigerian society, more women are afraid to admit to being housewives, which has contributed to the increased number of failed businesses also known as boutiques in our country. Ladies, let’s be real with ourselves, stop all this ‘liberation and feminist talk’ and accept the fact that there is absolutely nothing wrong with being a housewife. As a matter of fact there are more advantages than disadvantages of being a housewife.
As a housewife, I get to enjoy to be there for my family, my children know my values and morals not just what Aunty Saratu, the househelp or Aunty Uche, their teacher in school teaches them. I have one schedule to worry about and besides the morning rush to get the kids ready for school and getting them in bed; I actually have enough time to do things for myself like working out or going to the salon or shopping. As a housewife, I am also a financial consultant because there are some months when budgeting knowledge comes in handy. My husband knows I am there for him when he needs me and in every way possible.
I am fulfilled being a housewife and I just wish other women would stop seeing it as a lazy fall back job because it is not easy to sacrifice and put everyone else before yourself.
To the women reading, take a position, Career Woman or Homemaker? Why? What/who should drive this decision? The man of the house? The woman? The economy? To the guys reading, which would you rather have and why? You know the drill, use the comment box to express you.