Published on July 31st, 2012 | by Guest47
The Naked Convos 4 And…Love. (#TNC4 Review)
Last week was the fourth edition of The Naked Convos which took place at the Oriental Hotel in Lekki, even if the invites on Twitter said Victoria Island. Hell, I don’t even know Lagos and I know that that is not V.I.
Anyways, I heard about the first edition and the second and that’s when it started to sound like a lot of fun and I was determined that whenever the opportunity presented itself I had to be there to experience it for myself; and it did.
I was told I was going to be disappointed; I was going to have fun; there were going to be a lot of cute guys…people, I didn’t care. I got in the car and headed to Oriental Hotel in LEKKI.
So let me share what I learnt at the event from the beginning to the end.
- Oriental Hotel is not at Victoria Island.
- Nigerians STILL in 2012 do not start on time.
- The gate fee doesn’t include drinks or snacks…eat before coming.
- Ebuka is a very, very beautiful man. Smiles like angel, his voice is like that of an angel. Ebuka is an angel…that doesn’t mind being tied up.
- Love means so many different things to different people. To some it is, money; others, time and to some others, sex…and to a few others, it does not exist.
- When you blow condoms out, they look like really huge penises.
- Gbemi is just as beautiful as she sounds.
- Tula is not as tall as I imagined and has never said the words ‘I love you’ to any of his lovers
- When Nigerians girls, do not fake their accents; are comfortable with themselves and are real, they are beautiful and funny as hell.
- He even did a six months rule for the babe and she…she just… Nah, mehn! *sobs* Jimmy is hurt.
- Ladies, before you put a condom on a banana, please, make sure that you kiss/lick it a little bit. The boys like it, and as a clean child, I don’t know why. Just do it. It makes them scream like little girls.
- Koromone should have a hotline. Lord! Koro, if you ever read this, do you go both ways? Asking for a friend.
- When saying I love you, if you really mean it, the words ‘lurv’ ‘luv’ ‘lur’ don’t count. Spell it out.
- Boys, word of advice, if you are going to go all out to say ‘I love you’ with rose petals on the carpet, please ensure you have someone to clean up the mess.
- Some believe that just as much as you can fall in love with someone; you can fall out of love with them. Some think it is easy and possible; others think it isn’t easy but it is very possible (I think that was Toxic.)
- Toxic’s Pastor says it is okay to be freaky with your legal partner.
- If you have a one night stand, SHUT UP ABOUT IT. If you know you can’t shut up about it and the guilt would eat you out, DON’T DO IT…except you want to use it as a reason to break up with your partner
- One night stands do get tiring and boring, and after a while, you begin to look for someone special. (The boy that said this…call me.)
- If you tell Toke (that’s her name, right?) that you love her too soon, she will run.
- If a person tells you they love you, the best responses-and most common, are ‘Awww…’ ‘Thank you’ but I prefer to just be silent for a few minutes and ask how your day went.
- Some men have hearts and pockets so big can love more than one woman at a time.
- And yes, MEN, according to Adey, PAUSING YOUR GAME FOR A GIRL IS NOT A BIG DEAL. Urgh! *flips wig*
- Ladies, if you want to give it up on the first date or the twenty first, according to the guys, it doesn’t matter. They won’t think you cheap or easy. To every rule, there is an exception. I have been in the middle of many male conversations about girls, and Yes, Ladies, sometimes, with some men, it does cheapen you.
- The Naked Convos is a good place for you to restock your condom collection. Honestly. It was everywhere like Cossy’s breasts in a bad bra.
- Sex should be fun and interesting…and adventurous. Whatever your partner likes, you can compromise. Do almost everything. From whipped cream, to blindfolds…to sex toys…to choking and…slaps, but…anal can be very touchy for some.
- Some don’t like when you stick a figure up their ass. They might kill you. Resurrect you and kill you again… Not my words.
- Have I mentioned how incredibly dashing Ebuka is? Gosh, My Lord! *fans self* I need a minute.
- Taking a minute still… (Breathe and Scene) I mean, Ebuka, are you single? I don’t need to date you. I just want to carve out your face with that smile on it and pin it to my dressing room mirror with your voice recorded saying how beautiful I am every morning. Is that too much to ask for? IS IT?!
- I had a lovely time and the organizers did a lovely and phenomenal job. I was not disappointed at all.
- Just because you pose for picture, doesn’t mean you will enter the final cut. The Naked Convos no dey put #TheUglyOnes for final album…after…after…*wipes tears*
- But out of all the funny stories, laughter and cute boys, I realized something. Love is a beautiful feeling where if you really feel it, it never dies; and sex is the cherry on top that comes with it. It is everything the Bible says it is and No, it doesn’t keep you in the friend zone. It gets you through a lot of tough times and more. We hurt each other everyday. No consideration for emotions whatsoever. And with all the comments that I heard that evening, we are not ready to stop. A fight continues because one person refuses to surrender but humility, acceptance and meekness is not weakness. Think about this. If we all loved each other the way God intended us to, do you think we would all be this messed up? (Yes, we are all messed up.)
Well done, T.N.C. I look forward to the next edition.