The Naked Convos 4 And…Love. (#TNC4 Review)
Last week was the fourth edition of The Naked Convos which took place at the Oriental Hotel in Lekki, even if the invites on Twitter said Victoria Island. Hell, I don’t even know Lagos and I know that that is not V.I.
Anyways, I heard about the first edition and the second and that’s when it started to sound like a lot of fun and I was determined that whenever the opportunity presented itself I had to be there to experience it for myself; and it did.
I was told I was going to be disappointed; I was going to have fun; there were going to be a lot of cute guys…people, I didn’t care. I got in the car and headed to Oriental Hotel in LEKKI.
So let me share what I learnt at the event from the beginning to the end.
- Oriental Hotel is not at Victoria Island.
- Nigerians STILL in 2012 do not start on time.
- The gate fee doesn’t include drinks or snacks…eat before coming.
- Ebuka is a very, very beautiful man. Smiles like angel, his voice is like that of an angel. Ebuka is an angel…that doesn’t mind being tied up.
- Love means so many different things to different people. To some it is, money; others, time and to some others, sex…and to a few others, it does not exist.
- When you blow condoms out, they look like really huge penises.
- Gbemi is just as beautiful as she sounds.
- Tula is not as tall as I imagined and has never said the words ‘I love you’ to any of his lovers
- When Nigerians girls, do not fake their accents; are comfortable with themselves and are real, they are beautiful and funny as hell.
- He even did a six months rule for the babe and she…she just… Nah, mehn! *sobs* Jimmy is hurt.
- Ladies, before you put a condom on a banana, please, make sure that you kiss/lick it a little bit. The boys like it, and as a clean child, I don’t know why. Just do it. It makes them scream like little girls.
- Koromone should have a hotline. Lord! Koro, if you ever read this, do you go both ways? Asking for a friend.
- When saying I love you, if you really mean it, the words ‘lurv’ ‘luv’ ‘lur’ don’t count. Spell it out.
- Boys, word of advice, if you are going to go all out to say ‘I love you’ with rose petals on the carpet, please ensure you have someone to clean up the mess.
- Some believe that just as much as you can fall in love with someone; you can fall out of love with them. Some think it is easy and possible; others think it isn’t easy but it is very possible (I think that was Toxic.)
- Toxic’s Pastor says it is okay to be freaky with your legal partner.
- If you have a one night stand, SHUT UP ABOUT IT. If you know you can’t shut up about it and the guilt would eat you out, DON’T DO IT…except you want to use it as a reason to break up with your partner
- One night stands do get tiring and boring, and after a while, you begin to look for someone special. (The boy that said this…call me.)
- If you tell Toke (that’s her name, right?) that you love her too soon, she will run.
- If a person tells you they love you, the best responses-and most common, are ‘Awww…’ ‘Thank you’ but I prefer to just be silent for a few minutes and ask how your day went.
- Some men have hearts and pockets so big can love more than one woman at a time.
- And yes, MEN, according to Adey, PAUSING YOUR GAME FOR A GIRL IS NOT A BIG DEAL. Urgh! *flips wig*
- Ladies, if you want to give it up on the first date or the twenty first, according to the guys, it doesn’t matter. They won’t think you cheap or easy. To every rule, there is an exception. I have been in the middle of many male conversations about girls, and Yes, Ladies, sometimes, with some men, it does cheapen you.
- The Naked Convos is a good place for you to restock your condom collection. Honestly. It was everywhere like Cossy’s breasts in a bad bra.
- Sex should be fun and interesting…and adventurous. Whatever your partner likes, you can compromise. Do almost everything. From whipped cream, to blindfolds…to sex toys…to choking and…slaps, but…anal can be very touchy for some.
- Some don’t like when you stick a figure up their ass. They might kill you. Resurrect you and kill you again… Not my words.
- Have I mentioned how incredibly dashing Ebuka is? Gosh, My Lord! *fans self* I need a minute.
- Taking a minute still… (Breathe and Scene) I mean, Ebuka, are you single? I don’t need to date you. I just want to carve out your face with that smile on it and pin it to my dressing room mirror with your voice recorded saying how beautiful I am every morning. Is that too much to ask for? IS IT?!
- I had a lovely time and the organizers did a lovely and phenomenal job. I was not disappointed at all.
- Just because you pose for picture, doesn’t mean you will enter the final cut. The Naked Convos no dey put #TheUglyOnes for final album…after…after…*wipes tears*
- But out of all the funny stories, laughter and cute boys, I realized something. Love is a beautiful feeling where if you really feel it, it never dies; and sex is the cherry on top that comes with it. It is everything the Bible says it is and No, it doesn’t keep you in the friend zone. It gets you through a lot of tough times and more. We hurt each other everyday. No consideration for emotions whatsoever. And with all the comments that I heard that evening, we are not ready to stop. A fight continues because one person refuses to surrender but humility, acceptance and meekness is not weakness. Think about this. If we all loved each other the way God intended us to, do you think we would all be this messed up? (Yes, we are all messed up.)
Well done, T.N.C. I look forward to the next edition.
by @Andhiii
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First?
Awww, nice! Now I hate myself even more for having missed it! Very apt rundown, Andhiii. Thanks.
And okay, I accept, I DON'T KNOW! @thetoolsman, mind telling me what it is? because I'm beginning to feel like the red-headed stepchild.
buhahahaha… you'll make a good stepchild tho :p
I enjoyed the straight-faced humour in this review. I wasn't at the event :'( and I found 3, 6 very useful. :D
Wow, were you taking notes? You pretty much covered most of the salient and interesting points and I love your summation in no. 31.
I can like to use this to make all those that didn’t attend feel bad.
PS: I sincerely hope Ebuka does the voice recording for you, and that its a wood or metal carving you want not actual flesh and blood
"Wow, were you taking notes?"
Atink she was mehn! Even while she was putting condom on banana she had a good idea of what was going on around… and beside her! O_O
Andhii is jes remarkable mehn!! //0\
I sat behind the reviewer of the event. She knows how to catwalk. It's like her waist and shoulders don't exist. In fact, I was catching feelings and things. Ok bye
Err…. I guess the review must be really useful for you then, seeing as you probably missed a lot of the action..
As in! I didn't even realize that all these things took place! I didn't even know when they were snapping photo. It's like I was never there. I sha met the reviewer so that was enough :-D
Ode -____-
Sometimes u sound like an old man and reading dis comment, u sound youthful… I don't even know y I'm trying 2 figure u out….
Hi Sapphire! Lol
Hhhmmmmm! He laughs…. Smh
Amanda! (•ˆ⌣ˆ•)
Oh, well.. I’ve stopped crying now.I’ll see that cute butt of toolsman’s I’ve heard so much abt later. Maybe @ TNC5.
Uh, I think cossy’s breasts will be everywhere in a GOOD bra.
(//_\\\\)
Seriously hoping NYSC posts me to lag… Should start praying and fasting sef :(
LOL! Yes, Terdoo! :) Let's just say I am very observant and I was paying attention.
:D aah a sound review greeaat…I missd out on all of d first segment…latey latey like me
Ebuka is angelic & all yea…but I kinda sorta liked all of Jimmy's restless energy X_X
Can't wait for TNC5 & aswear I won't be late ds time
P.S. Ooo I didn't pose & I'm in d pictures :)
Nice review. The reviewer is pretty as well, in addition to knowing how to handle a banana. :)
So Amanda has a steel-trap for a brain. . . cool cool
Wonderful piece, Nigerians when educated are phenomenal! I'm marveled. I intend to make ur acquintance @anghiii. Expect my tweet. :)
It's AnDhiiii…
Wen is TNC5??????????
Hanks jemjem
Now i feel awful about missing this TNC.
Great review.
So it’s Ebuka now abi? *snaps fingers*
Thanks* (arrrrrrghhhhhh!!!! I feel like an idiot now) *covering face*
Ok, so I'm new to d whole "TNC" experience, jst started ffing d blog n all, never bin to any of d event, but from what I've read, I can tell its pretty interesting. I'm already addicted to d writeups n kip waitn for new posts. Anyways, str8 to my question; hw come most of y'all knw urselfs? Is dre like anoda forum where u guys meet? N where can I see d pictures from d event? I'd really like to see Ebuka and Jimmy *winking*
Thanks…
Hmmmm! I'll like 2c Ebuka and thetoolsman…. Dey r handsome abi? #okbye
ermmm…. One question…
On behalf of those dat cld av given a leg to b there but as fate could av it, cldnt make it, can't we get a video?
These was a very lovely review but just feels like I missed a whole lot.
D only tin dats gonna keep me TNC 5 is if m out of d country…
Rili wanna meet @thetoolsman cos I tink u ve gotta b super brilliant to b able to pul dis sort of tins off
N @TTXIII cos m obsessed wt his frictions
His friction ke? *rolls to oriental*
Hmmmm…..TNC crew should start thinking of expanding…nd coming to other major cities in Naija…in d mean Tym…wen is tnc5?i now want 2 c ebuka….so much hyping….
TNC5.. December.. We are already thinking about moving the TNC series to other states..
Ok…dats nice…
N yes I want to see toolsman and shake his hands…wat a good n courageous job…
:) Thanks.
Lastma, buh I missed. I'll xperience tnc one day. All de same, love is a beautiful tin.
I got one question for andhii, are you Nigerian?or Kenyan?I follow her on twitter and all and I goTta say you really made us that weren't at the event rue missing it…looking forward to TNC5
I'm Nigerian. :D
I'm glad you all want to be at TNC 5 but to get the best you to participate. Hopefully, I'd meet you in December.
Love the summary
I don't think I'll ever be at any TNC event *real tears*
Great summary, i feel like i was there :)
http://shelovesthefinerthings.blogspot.com
Amanda ^_^
Timi!
Any chance of u guys bringing the next edition 2 abuja…….?