What’s Your Number?
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The truth is out, Naija babes have decided to validate the Durex survey that claims they are the most unfaithful women in the world. While most people might be surprised after watching the Battabox video, some people like me don’t understand what the noise is all about.
Believe it or not, the Nigerian dating scene does not support fidelity. Yes I said it! Any single young woman who is madly in love with one guy that isn’t her husband is considered stupid by friends and even family. (Ok, ok, I’m generalizing). It’s popularly known as ‘putting all your eggs in one basket’ and from history, it’s wiser to spread your eggs arounds.
If men can be players having more than one girlfriend at a time, why can’t we ladies do it too? I’m pretty sure someone reading this is already preparing a double standard type of argument (the holier-than-thou’s and the ‘good’ girls) but before you start let me explain how it works.
At some time in a woman’s life, she will have at least two ‘toasters’ or as many as five (if she’s that good). During that time, she’ll perform an extensive analysis by highlighting the pros and cons of each man before deciding to commit. On the otherhand, she is also aware that men have egos to be stroked (no pun intended), so she gives each one the impression that he is the only man in her life while looking for ways to get rid of him. This helps to keep their egos in check. While some of them would consider themselves players, they won’t know they are the ones being played by their ‘prey’.
At the end of this process, she picks the one she’ll marry and commits to him (or tries to) ’for marriage’. Which means as long as she is single and not sleeping with all the men, they are all her ‘boyfriends’ fulfilling different purposes. In financial terms, they are simply hedging against risks and only want the maximum return on investments. In this case, that would be their time, emotions, happiness etc.
Because this is TNC and we encourage expression, I’ve decided to put this up for discussion today. Start by giving us a NUMBER. Then tell us your views on cheating. Do you support having multiple partners a.k.a not having all your eggs in one basket? If this is the case and if most of us agree with this, then do you wonder why so many people break down when they get dismissed from a relationship? Shouldn’t it be just as easy as moving on to one of the many backup plans?
Please allow me to add a note. I’m sure we all felt the ‘real-ness’ of the comments in that video. I’d really like for us to keep all the face-saving comments to ourselves today. This is TNC, if you’re scared your boyfriend/girlfriend will fire you because of your comments, please go ahead and comment anonymously. You know the drill, use the comment box and express you.
Disclaimer: this process does not apply to all men/women, some just can’t pull it off.
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About the Author
Sheila Jack of all trades, master of all... When I am not here, you'll find me at www.sheilaspeaks.com and on twitter as @Mxscharles.
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erm… am i 1st? noooo i dont think so…. oops i'm 1st wow, how did it happen?
-______- Nothing new here… download the video pls. Thank you :)
Done did it
-________________-
kilode
you!
hi dear
DAMN, THESE GIRLS ARE THE ANTITHESIS OF BEAUTY!!!!!
Buhahhahahahahahhaaha
I swear!
What he said, definitely not what I thought -_-
I thought the exact same thing when I saw that video 2 weeks ago. Like how did they gather ALL the ugly 'girls' in Nigeria?
May they not store my name as "Expenses" or "Dulling"
Amen! Amen! Amen!
Buhahhahaha…. How many chics do u av?
none.
say the truth and shame the devil
Hian! NONE OOOOO! MISS SAPPHIRE013
but y?
he's gay.
ask how many boyfriends he has…………….
none. we all don't do guys :p
Well, some of us have been 'unlucky' in relationships. :(
:-( will u still remember how to mate? oops i shld av asked how long ago….
anyway u r probably doing sometin wrong
According to lamarck's theory of use and disuse abi?
loooooooool. I bet they already did, if you go around toasting girls.
Nah fam, I don't roll that way yo.
Amennnnnnnnnnn
And what school is this???? The gbagauns sound like they originate from some Southern Uni…I'm guessing in Ekiti or Ibadan
More like ibadan…
Laspotech, Ikorodu campus. lol
Omg omg… The girls… Haba,
Oh by the way, Hi Sheila. remember me ? you Spanish speaking show off…
Sanction!!!!
Stay away my nig, Freaki or Chinedu or whoever you are at this moment. Stay away
My numba is 10. If am not sleeping wit all of dem, i can date up to 20 sef. kini wahala? Abegi, girls cannt dull. the men sef wil be dating plenty n tellin us wia d only 1's n dey will be brapping al of dem o. abeggiii. girls, dnt dull.
Hehehhehehehehhe!
10? TEN? Really? Are you serious? Ok, so tell us, what do they do for you? I mean, how many needs can one woman have?
err… -____-
O_O you are a strong woman!
As ihhhnnn…
strengthened or rather, powered by alomo
The "interviewers" yoruba accent tho!
The girls don finish us.. Choi…
Azzzzziiiiiiin! (>_<)
My number is 5,bt its difficult 2 kip up
Its necessary,me r terrible u v 2 b on top of ur game
1. In my opinion, I think the "research" is flawed on many levels, the babes r prolly not a representative sample of Nigerian women.
2. My no.is 1..&this is not "holier than thou" or being judgemental. there's no point in committing to having a relationship (note the singular), when u know u aren't ready to be faithful to ur partner, it tells a lot about the integrity of the person in question! Plus 1 is enough work, how do u juggle between 2 or more men with other demands of life..mehnnnnnn
It's called multitasking. It's a very good brain exercise :>
I put all my eggs in one basket and give the basket to God!
Goodbye
-____-
So now your men are called eggs abi? I'm getting you braff…
They are eggs, they have eggs, or balls or errr……what's it called?
d razz word is blokos and d tush word is testis, err some r cool with balls…. they r far from eggs tho, eggs r fragile those things aint mehn
hmmmm
Oooosheeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i dont hv a number… And no its not bcos there's none, quite the opposite aka KEEP 'EM COMING! A guy of 21 doesnt go around with girls to look for Ms.ComeNshareMySurname. He's having fun and flexing. Me? Same age will now be looking for husband… Olowo orimi etc. WRONG MINDSET! I've learnt to have fun with everyone of them. If you're looking for xtra, stay the hell away or pretend… This way i get to know each of them when they feel comfy and evict them without too much attacgment or them ever knowing there was a competitob. It works for me sha b'cos i cant do 'deep' with more than 1 person…
Nikki God bless ma thoughts exactly..not judging anyone cos I aint no saint buh mehn where do you get the energy??.. Not saying its stressful buh you gotta provide for one emotionally hw do you do that for more than one…
1. Those girls look weird. i doubt they're even dating ANYBODY!
2. my number is 1. i just don't know how to share myself that way. Plus, one guy giving you a headache is more than enough.
10? TEN? Really? Are you serious? Ok, so tell us, what do they do for you? I mean, how many needs can one woman have?
I said 1 jor!
Wrong reply… sorry..
huh?
how can u date a calabar dude and need extra? he is like 5 in 1… so we get u, at least i do
i mean… *giggles*
Lol @ ur point number 1…U'd b SHOCKED!!! Really….
Ose omo yii. Waa gbayi. 1 is the number
some of us don't know how to play the dating game, u might even say we hate the toasting process. so my number is usually always 0,1 or 2 ;)
On cheating, i've learnt in the last couple of years the large grey area that exists in the relationship between males and females; whta exactly constitutes as cheating? Entertaining another taosting, going out on dates, making out with no sex, oral sex, full sex? Bt either way, i don't agree with cheating in any form (i just understood that 2years), if u are in a commitment, stay committed and accept early on that not all relationships end in happily ever after.
PS: I'm all for open relationships ;D
i need to read my replies before posting them, i almost sound uneducated. sigh.
lol. Will you be angry if I agree?
Ahem.. open relationships.. interesting..
really simple. u and ur partner make a reasonable agreement, like adults. then make reasonable agreements with the extra (to enter a 'situation'), that way noone is cheating. then if u r lucky, you, your partner and the extras can have fun together :D
In other words, orgies?
I don't like 'open relationships'. First because it sounds to me like two confused people pretending to be together, and secondly because there is usually a party who wants the relationship to be closed.
I prefer 'friends with benefits'. That way, we can be sure nobody is fooling themselves.
Same thing, different terms…
I guess I just like clarity. Ambiguity doesn't cut it for me.
Just realized, I didn't answer the question.. My number is 0..
0? ZERO?
Don't you date girls then?
*runs away*
better run far away.. I actually re-read the question.. I got it wrong initially, thought she asked how many we are currently dating/in a r/ship with.. Anyways, that should be one.. I say should because just like you explained in your comment below, there are factors one needs to consider.. I'll get to that in a bit..
(Y). I'll be waiting on tenterhooks.
mee toooooooo
@Tiki, @Sapphire, I replied you guys below
sat the truth broda….. not 1? haba
None. No Number. 0. Zip. Nothing.
Commitment kills. Stay Single biko. ( -_-)
Then you can have plenty plenty plenty eggs to play with ^_^
haaa
Those girls with H factor, multiple gbagauns and different kinds of darling yaki + cheap clothes are talking abt having 2 or more boyfriends??!!
I'm starting to wonder how much the so-called boyfriends are giving them o, cos if u want to spread ur eggs, u wanna be sure u r making returns!
Eyi egbere to n lo curve 2 na n soro. Egbami. Awon omo poly oshi.
Hissss.
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL! My sentiments ezzaili!
Erm.. but why judge though? We all have different value systems, maybe to her yaki is the best weave money can buy? Maybe all she wants/needs is a Curve 2?
Lmao, Tula stop joking abeg. Which kain?
I'm not judging, I'm just saying. Its in everyman/woman's nature to show off a little bit when u have some money even if its small. Maybe by ur hair, clothes, shoes, whatever. I'm sorry but those girls look broke! And I'm saying if they are dating more than one man as they claim, then they should do better, except they are doing it just to scratch d kpekus!
Still sounds like judging to me… You're still not taking their value system into consideration.. even with as many as 10 bf's , do you even know what she's demanding from them? It could gifts like N500 recharge cards etc?
na….. most girls r copy cats, with all d guys they r dating, dey shld copy their snrs in d same trend… i honestly dont know why or rather cant explain why dey look so cheap.
Money doesn't but taste. They may have the money but have no idea what to do with it.
Aren't there plenty of them like that?
hmmmmm good point….
oh puhleeesze!!!!
Bless you jare (that's if you're not being sarcastic o). Everyone talking about how they look 'funny' and 'cheap'. Haba!
I'm the only one allowed to be sarcastic around here. Thank you -_-
Seen :D
duh… u r doing badly with ur sarcastic job
but dont they?
Not everybody can date a rich guy. Maybe her numerous bfs pooled together can only afford Yaki.
PS. Not all girls date for money – for some people, the need for companionship far outweighs the urge to compete with your neighbor's 31" Brazilian weave.
Looool! Stop Eet!
It's true na! :D
loooooool
companionship with 2/3 boyfriends……………. the girl has loads of issues then
lmao.
Haba Aunty Shuggar…wetin Poly students do you na?
Huhuhuhu! Eez it me ni?
Sorry jare…aunty shadee not shuggar…why did I say shuggar? *thinking*
I wonder too ( ._.)
Arabinrin yi n binu sha
Lol, ok, let me come and do my Miss Complicated thing. My number 'depends'.
Before Tula and the TNC resident ( and über-annoying) insect lambast me, let me explain myself:
1. I cannot jump headfirst into a relationship (of any kind) na. I gats to know the guy first. Any number of guys may be part of this initial screening procedure at the same time. The record high at the moment is 14.
2. After the first round of screening, I drop some, and move to the 'dates-and-invites-to-mine' stage. I'm too busy to have more than 8 guys at this stage at any given time.
3. Depending on what I find next, we may move on to the final stage next. Or not. If neither are deemed serious, we go just dey 'catch fun'. However my limit is four.
4. If a clear winner emerges, and I find that I have fallen for him, I eliminate all competition. At which stage my number becomes 1.
5. I have found it necessary at times to have a back-up aka Plan B aka Assistant Boyfriend.
Lol. That's the gospel truth.
PS. Please note that numbers include both guys within the national territory, as well as in the diaspora.
for lack of anything intellectual to reply to this right now, I'll just do this:
___o____O__
loooooool. But what I just said makes sense! plus I believe that is actually what happens to most girls.
Btw, Is that one open eye and one not-as-open eye? If it is, your head seems quite broad!
Or is it you on your stomach? If yes, nice butt!
hahahaha.. go AWAY!!!
Hahahahaha
And she took the words right out of my mouth! well, except that stage 1 never had 'candidates' that exceeded 8
Assistant boyfriends are an absolute necessity. :D
O.O… so wrong..
lol. Is it though? I have dated in my life (oh, how I have dated! lol). An Assistant Boyfriend has often been the only thing that stood between me and insanity.
My dear, 'hmm' is all i can say. Now that i have resorted to asking for a proper definition when it comes to this whole dating business. And men these days don't want definition, they're comfortable with 'let's just go with the flow'. If you want something, you ask for it. shikenan!
@Tula; no sane girl will go out of her way to develop two relationships simultaneously. The assistant boyfriend is usually your go-to guy when Le Beau acts up or just refuses to understand that you have hormones. :D *sigh*
That's one thing I won't accept. Where I come from they call it 'Understanding and Response', aka interpretation. A guy will just be feeding you all the ambiguous nonsense he can think of, and he expects you to deduce that he wants a relationship, serious or not is for the birds to know. After 6 months of sampling your cooking, your bank account and your delectable body, he will tell you that he 'thought you knew' that this was just for fun.
If na me, you go spell am out in black and white o! I don't care how old-fashioned it is, I must hear 'I want you to be my girlfriend' and then proceed to detail what that entails! That way when you mess up, I will be totally justified in cutting your balls off.
Not that I would need justification, really. :o)
mwuah…. no corner corner…..
The cutting of balls part is right up my alley!
I know how many names i have been labelled because i asked for specifics?
'you're too harsh, abeg'
'why must you make me expend so much energy?'
'you too charge'
'These days, these things don't happen like that again o. where have you been?"
'i'm just trying to let you know how special you are to me, and how much i respect you'
'sometimes, i think you like grammar too much'
'woman! i like you and want to be with you, what's there to define again?'
'must you be so hard and unyielding? you be woman o!'
Need i continue? I give up! I'm trying to design a form for the next batch of candidates. I think I'm gonna need your help.
Hi-5!
_______o_
lol. In English please.
is dis one eye? or someone lying flat with his bombom facing up?
That's me giving honor to whom it is due. It's called "prostrating "
Good boy. Don't stop. lol
Ahem! I have just one thing to say: I hope the assistant boyfriend is gettig it too sha
The video looks like an auditon for Tura soap. What audible pain!!! Dee fulk?. Anyway, my number is ZEHRO. I do not know how to cheat… Its unblushing, I know. But, what is a man to do?
Hello. *extends hand*
Hi…. *insert shy face here*
:$ Hello, U like zero? I like zero too :)
hi…. my name is erm erm erm… whats my name again? fogerrit, how are u :-)
I use to follow you on twitter…
mee…? why use to? oya follow again :-) :-) :-) :-)
You didn't say you don't want to cheat , you said you don't know how to. That means one day you may learn, and then realize that you like it.
A non-cheating man is all fine and good, but one who knows what he is missing and doesn't care, sounds better IMO than one who has his head buried in the sand.
Which one are you?
In addition, I think the word 'dating' needs to be properly defined. Shouldn't there be a difference between dating and 'going steady'? or is the actual going steady called dating? In that case what do we call the process of getting to know each other before dating? bearing in mind that you may be getting to know a number of people?
This is a bit of a gray area, isn't it?
Yes please help out with this….
Well @thetoolsman, I was kinda hoping for your take on this…
Sapphire dont shy away from the topic and answer.
Lemme get something straight…is the question how many partners one can have, or how many ADDITIONAL partners one can have?
Coz all y'all saying zero like that….
I think its how many can you handle, at once.
Can we sit on the fence?
I was clear on my position on this subject until recently. Now I don't know what to think anymore. There are some really great arguments for multiple dating and lets not lie, people doing it seem to be winning. On one hand its not smart to put all your eggs in one basket, on the other hand, giving a guy the impression he's the only one is not right, that's major deception.
To do the smart thing or the right thing? Everyone has to make their own choice.
Like!!!!!!!
Anyway, all that said, my number would be 2. 1 in Nigeria, 1 'in the abroad'. I would like to call them my Naira and Dollar/Pounds account.
Max 3.
2 in Nigeria. 1 9-5 and 1 business man…..I'm sure we know why.
Goodbye
(._.)
jisox
Saphire, biko, where is your answer? ( ._.)
*Sapphire
erm erm erm
Ouch.
That's a bit cold, don't you think? How would you feel if you were 'hassle-free f**k' for one and 'cook' for the other.
Been there done that! People use people everyday honey!
i am "afraiding" u o
lol, she aint even playing yo!
Sigh….omo poly oshi!!! :p
For me
@ all times i always have at least 4guys around me. nothing less.
As to which is more or least important. that really depends on my mood.
Please note that all 4 guys have a potential for marriage within a year. :)
LMAO!! You r great!!
I don't have a number, as long as I haven't officially labelled any guy as Le Beau, then I can date as many as I please (shan't put all my eggs in one basket ;) ) after all, we are friends.
On the other hand, when there's a 'Le Beau' in my life, I allow a few hangers-on who all know about the Chairman
As d relationship gets more serious, they all fizzle out till d wedding band comes on.
I speak from experience cos I have been burnt quite badly in the past with eliminating all potentials cos of my one-week old beau…..
Crucify me!! I don't care cos it works for me…..
Bro hug!
I think its much easier for the ladies to give numbers though. Most dudes would usually have just one point of focus. Well, because of the financial responsibilities, et al . Since in the world we are in, the male folk tend to shoulder more of the responsibilities. Better to have all your eggs in one basket before you break the camel's(your) back.
I like you..You like me..let’s be together..or we go our separate ways..
I say 0 (Alone) /1 (Together)
X
Am going to be very judgemental and say that those girls in that video are pathetic.
Why do girls go about saying guys are heartless, guys are these,guys are that? Shut the fuck up and take a sit. If you haven’t tried them all then don’t judge them. Now concerning the matter what’s the point of having more than one bf and putting them into categories ? If the so called perfect bf should find out about your devious ways do you think he will still be with you and even if he is its to pay you back. #whatgoesaroundcomesaround.
Those girls need to take a chill pill and think about their lives, they are not far from their down fall. Your parents sent you to school learn na boyfriends you dey find. Desperate hoes :D
PS: Am a girl -__-
*I am a girl
*take a seat!*
loooooooooool
Dat video sha….
Well, true talk – its very pricey 2 av more dan 1 girlfriend now. Not worth it. Note d label is 'girlfriend'. My, I jus turned down a FWB who wanted girlfrien- 2 status:- I freaking know wot dat means so 'hell no'.
But @ a certain level as a guy, u will def av pple wwho do u for every reason other dan material or financial.
But wen a girl finally catches d bug 4 her-kinda guy, she wld be setting urself up 4 a fall avin more dan 1.
You should not be exclusive to anyone (or sleep with anyone) unless you're engaged to them or married to them. This is what I plan to tell my unborn daughter.
In other words #TeamSingleUntilMarried
Shall you be telling her your personal, applied philosophy or the doctrine of a reformed man?
good question! buhahahaha
They all mean the same thing in my case. I really dunno how some of you girls do it. Must be broken pieces of you all over the place.
After you get your heart broken the second time, you stop to care so much. lol.
Ps. I was lucky enough to be able to find and gather all my broken pieces, and I'm almost done putting them back together….Yay me!
you always like to sound like an old man
He is old!!!!
ok.. so, contrary to Tiki's comment, I think having a 'back-up' plan should only happen subconsciously, if anything at all. What I'm saying is, for no reason should anyone set out to be in a relationship with more than one person at once – it's just setting yourself up to fail. If you can't find MOST of what you what in a man/woman then why not just stay single? There's no way you can justify it by saying one person serves your sexual needs and another one, finance blah blah blah… Thats just GREED and please don't get me wrong, the natural human instinct tends towards 'greed'.. well, at least for men. I mean, there are about 5-7 women for every man out there. For women, the greed works in another way. It's that feeling of always questioning the status quo, always wanting to know if there's more out there.
But again, I say, if your initial decision was not made as a result of you settling/bending to pressure, then you really shouldn't have a reason to question the status quo.
Now, with respect to having a backup plan. I say it happens subconsciously most of the time. We all have that one person you 'run to' when in a r/ship crisis.. Most of the time, the person is a member of the opposite sex, if you're related to them, all well and good for you. But if he/she is a friend, as long as they are not completely hideous/unlovable, you'll think of them as a back-up plan and this should be the only form of 'backup' that should be excusable when in a r/ship.
I actually agree with you. I have tried both ways, conscious and subconscious backup plans, and I realised that when I KNEW that I had an alternative, I was less inclined to work at my current relationship, since I knew there was someone waiting in the wings. However when I applied myself to my relationship, the backup plan seemed redundant, so much so that at some point I actually cut off contact with him.
The best kind of back-up plan is the one who doesn't know he's being considered as a back-up plan, but who you suspect still likes you. That way the fear of his possible rejection keeps you working at the relationship you have, but if you get your heart broken you may still be able to rely on him.
It sounds so wrong, but it's the only way things can work sometimes.
Gbam!
hmmmm Tiki…d way ujust put ideas in my head en
lol. You know you want to. I bet you already have someone in mind.
as in en… kai
hmmm,mmm
well said.
ShoutOut to @3:08, the one & only, Barney 'Dully' Stinson.
But Buhahahas aside, why is financial-insecurity the major reason for their 'multitasking' endeavors.
Just doesn't do much justice to all the types of ladies I've met / or there are. #Sheldon-Shrug
@sam and shugga lemme answer…..
keeep urself till u r married… face ur studies and be a good girl, talk to ur parents when u r broke. :-) cut ur coat according to ur size…. :-):-):-):-):-)
i actually tot second or multiple bfs is cos of sexual satisfaction or shld i say libido based or emotional stability.. must it be money? what of those who have d money and have more dan 1?
i dont like to judge but mehn my pride wont let me date a guy cos of money.
and what if u have no money, are a poor student and ur parents r dirt poor???
let her manage…. or date one rich guy? poverty shldnt b an excuse to keep plenty men
ur body is d temple of God. ………… but will they listen? instead some guys will say they wanna worship god in his temple……. now see those teenages keeping 5 of u at a time
Wow, no way I could go through all the comments. My number's 1 and even that 1 has kay leg, call me old-fashioned but I won't enter a relationship if I feel its not going to lead to marriage, and how can I be considering/pursuing marriage with more than one person at the same time, that's just a recipe for plenty headache.
Saphire u cunning lady, u didnt answer the question, by the way, please are you the @nature_gurl on twitter
Just wondering if the married ones can comment….
Hehehe…I should guess so…(at ur own peril)
I think some of these commenters are married.
LMAO!! "Personal boyfriend" tho!?!? … still watching…brb!
This has been not just very entertaining, but also very educative I must confess!!! Boy!! Babes r on dis infidelity thing on a more serious P than I was willing to admit… My number of choice and preference definitely is one (1)… but we can't always have what we want now can we?? `\( ._.),
You bloody girls must think the sun shines out of your asses eh? Talking about forms,candidates and shii. *hiss. GTFOH. And Sapphire(sp?) You've turned this site to Nairaland. Posting senseless comments. We'll like you to shut the fuck up once ina while. Thanks and God bless!
y u com dey vex na
Buhahahahaha! Coward.. No identity….
You can say what you have to say without being disrespectful. Maybe you should take your own advice – but apply it in a more permanent fashion.
Options make u put less effort into making ur relationship work. Greed makes you keep seperate men as income sources. Evil makes you manipulate many into thinking you care when you are only using them. What goes around surely comes around. You will have kids, I hope u will desire they are played by a girl/guy like u, IJN, amen!
My name is Lé Ninja and I am not a terrorist….sorry, and my number is 1.
Sapphire don suffer, unfortunately Mr XXX i'm not ready to be "sensible" with my comments neither am i ready to shut the f*ck up…. ;-)
ps: mehn do av to b a coward? i dont bite sweety ;-) love u too mwuah…,. buhahahahahaha
Mehn…. Y'all are taking a huge piss on love men. Thought that was the reason for relationships and the likes… I prolly thought wrong.
If one girl loves me enough, why will I need another?
Errrm,nufin nu 2 say..I agree with highland blue
Who are these girlS and how did they get the number of guys they claim to have?