Orobo: Nigerian Insensitivity to BIG
Toolsman has written a couple of posts on being ‘thick’, ‘phat’, ‘voluptuous’ or whatever you can think of. As someone who has battled with weight for a while and also knowing that Toolsman knows nothing about being big or being a woman. It’s time to hear the story from someone who is a woman, has been big and is single *wink wink*. If you have never been big, you may not understand the point of this post and please if you have never been over a UK size 14 (US 12), then you have never been big.
I remember sometime in 2006, walking into a cinema in Queens, New York and paying to see Phat Girlz the movie, I was so excited that there was a Hollywood movie with a Nigerian element. *sigh* Not only was I not pleased with the very predictable Nollywood type script and the fact that RMD would have made a better ‘Tunde’ than Jimmy Jean-Louis, I found it hard to understand the concept of the movie. To me the writer just told a big lie that the Nigerian society preferred single phat women to the skinny ones. Maybe this was true back in the day but in modern Nigeria, I find that very hard to believe.
It is a known fact that Nigerians could be insensitive but what I find surprising is that in a continent where most women are heavily ‘endowed’, the thicker women are not appreciated. Shopping is a nightmare because you can never find things in your size and finding a tailor that can sew a perfect outfit to complement your shape and cover the rolls is like finding a needle in a haystack (it is that hard!)
Nothing irritates me more than being called ‘Orobo’; you might as well call me a N*gga because you are only stating the obvious that I am bigger than the average size 8. Blaming my weight for my health problems, I could understand but blaming my weight for my relationship status I am yet to understand.
A lady walked up to me in church once and blatantly said ‘Orobo when will you lose weight so you can marry?’ While poking the obvious love handles that I was trying hard to hide and God knows I was a second close to bitchslapping her till I remembered I was in public and risked being tagged as disrespectful and/or violent. It would be an unforgivable sin to the members of the congregation, so I looked at her and smiled because all the words in my head were words of anger and maybe some curse words.
The big women who are married feel they have the right to be big because they have husbands and maybe children. The first line of defence is ‘I am a married woman, so I can be big’ while of course we the single ones have no reason to be big. It doesn’t matter if it was an effect of self-esteem issues, health problems or genetics. As long as you are big and single, you are an outcast.
Forget what you heard or saw in Phat Girlz, single Nigerian men DO NOT prefer the single bigger women, it is a known fact that to get married, you would be required to lose weight and are free to gain everything back as soon as you say I do, of course at the risk of losing your husband to a smaller woman in extra-marital affairs. I am yet to find a Nigerian fashion designer that caters to plus-size women; I’m talking ready to wear plus-size clothing.
To prove I am not the only one that gets these insensitive comments, here are some of the comments on weight that some people have gotten in the past:
- If you look like this now, what will you look like when you have children?
- You know you look old, you will only get married as a second wife looking like that?
- My dear, with the way you are adding weight, you’d scare all the husbands away o
- Ah! stop eating the burger and ice-cream in America
- You look like you just came from a calabar fattening room
- You need to lose weight, now is the time to catch the guys
- Will your matriculation gown fit you at all?
- Hmmm…you will ruin my car shocks
And my personal favourite…
Aunty Orobo, wetin you wan buy, I get your size!
I could go on but like I said only the single and big would really understand. It is a Wednesday Dialogue post so for the benefit of those in doubt, I’d like to hear from our men: what is your take on ‘big’ women? Maybe we can take a mini-survey. Start by telling us your preference with respect to size in women and then let share your thoughts on the post. And of course the women can not be left out, have you experienced any form of ‘discrimination’ because of your size? Raise your voice, use the comment box to express yourself.
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About the Author
Sheila Jack of all trades, master of all... When I am not here, you'll find me at www.sheilaspeaks.com and on twitter as @Mxscharles.
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:) ?
*Le heavy sigh*
Well I’m proud to say I’m one of the few nigerian men who prefer thick big women. No disrespect to skinny women, but mehn holding, cuddling big women is it. Even better if she’s cute. You just wanna baby her and make her smile. I’m told I’m weird. :) I like that. #teamBigwomen
I can testify to his comment. He's not making this up…
Thumbs up Mr! Skinny women are evil! Tehehehehehe…………….
#teambigwomen #teamboobylicious i know him wella and he can never change, but really its all a matter of perception, nobody has the right to make you feel less of a human being, when people ridicule how you look it brings to the fore their insecurities about themselves, i used to feel so sensitive about how i looked until i looked in the mirror one morning and I'm like what the heck, if you don't like me as i am go hug a transformer joor. love yourself and don't let anyone run you down is my advice, but then again don't over do it, create a balance between your weight and your health
I am Nigerian, a man and single. In my 28+ years of existence on mother earth, i have never touched a skinny woman with a ten foot pole! I move to second your post sir! You have not had a woman if you have not been with a "‘thick’, ‘phat’, ‘voluptuous’ or whatever you can think of." woman! No disrespect to skinny women.
I assure you, there are a lot of guys out there who prefer big women. Some just feel they’ll be laughed at. *which I think is stupid anyway*.
Alter Ego Clothing is by a Nigerian fashion designer -Uche Nwagbo and she has a line for plus size women although she’s based in Canada.
I’m a size 12 myself but I’ve never experienced any form of “discrimation”. Apart from rude comments from friends and family, I always get to see an outfit that I like that comes in my size. Plus, I’m always ready to lash back at someone who makes a rude comment about my size. :)
I face the same thing on a daily and the funny thing is, I am not that big (Size 13) but because I am on the short side (height wise) I look bigger and rounder. These days I really dont care what snide comments people make about my weight. I've also been lucky to meet guys that have no issues and I mean no issues about my weight so I wont say Naija guys are all about Slim/skinny girls. Some guys really dont subscribe to the size 4, 6, 8 & 10s. There is a team of size 12, 14, 16, 18 etc guys/men out there. Good luck finding them. :D
Please, There is no reason for a woman to be too big or too skinny. Both are bad. Its not even about marriage or anything, it is for health. I used to be a size 18, then I realized that it was dangerous., Just as bad as drinking and smoking. So I lost the weight. .
Who cares what men prefer? I am a happy size 10 and by Gods grace I will never go back to 18 even after marriage. Please sisters, let us all live long for our childrens sake.
Lol. Toolsman… You know me well. #teamBigWomen4Ever
This is quite a heavy subject that has gone on and on and on..
Can we move on to less ‘weighty’ matters?
Tons a bunsh,
I wnt lie…unless I kno ur family history is famous for large sizes,I'm always tempted to conclude that fat people lack self control…I hv Neva bn traditionally fat..but Evrytime I gain massive weight I kno exactly wat I am doin wrong.
If u'd rather b big than slimmer,then embrace it wella… Dnt go formin weight loss regimen like someone I kno,who paid for gym membership, drinks all those fat burning teas, n eats one KFC bucket wit 1litre chivita every blessed day.. Usually on her way bk from gym!
Well its quiet but I beg to differ on the designers who do not cater for phat women . There are many of them though I can’t help you with names and addy but you could google up the abuja runway fashion 11.11.11 . Saw a couple of designer who dedicated every thing to plus size.
However,I do not let the society define me though…I always manage to run the show and keep their mouth mute.
Okay, I have never been big, but I identify with this post in the sense that I am not 'initially appealing' to men. I am not girly, I make my own fashion, and people describe my body type as 'oyinbo', which is the euphemism for 'minimally endowed'. No doubt, the light-skinned, skinny, weave-wearing girls get first pick. I like to think that my type is for the more discerning eye. People who aren't conventionally beautiful, in this sense, I think, have the advantage. You're not going to get hit on by as many randomers, it's like natural screening :)
There will always be an issue; the weight, the breasts, the skin colour. You can't stop people from being insensitive or judgmental. More than just your response to these people, however, also important is your perception. It sounds cliché, but what really matters is how you see yourself.
The lady in the picture is obviously Sheila.
Fat women = Hippos.
The aim is to be able to carry my partner and not have her carry me. The thing with being fat especially for a woman is, it makes her look old. I don't want a woman looking older than she should thanks to her weight. How do you appreciate a fat woman? By complimenting her extra roll or complimenting her double neck or by complimenting her non-existent chin? Call a spade what it is.
There's a correlation between your weight and relationships. It would be foolhardy to think otherwise. Get sensitive and call it discrimination, but it is what it is. Most men will go for a 'normal' looking lady than a fat woman. Of course there are exceptions to this rule. Some men dig fat, bouncing on top of lord knows what. Fat girls can find consolation there.
Bottomline: Instead of being antagonistic to the world for having a problem with your fat, do something about it.
Heyss… Mr Insect.. you just had to ruin your comment with that first line. Look to the left side of the page, you'll see the authors picture.. then again maybe I should just let her come and tell her own story..
I saw the profile picture, it's always been there. But I'd like to think this is Sheila in this picture. Personal amusement.
Lol @ Mr Insect! Mr insect, why so angry though?
Btw.. thanks for requesting the 'dislike' button.. with you around, it's really going to be useful..
The 'dislike' button has my name on it.
Put up your own picture, insect.
I agree with the Mantis on this, especially the carrying issue. But then, I have a slightly different angle. For most fat men and women, my problem is the attitude. They reek of lazy. If you can jump up and be agile and sporty I'm ok with you being large. I have some friends like that and they are damn sexy. But when your tummy is looking like you're preggs and you keep wolfing down large amounts of food and then you climb the stairs and end up heaving in a most unhealthy manner, nah, I'm not buying. You wont be a good role model to my kids.
And this post is the same as one I've read on this site before. Word for word. Is the Toolsman running out of new posts/writers? We delve.
Its actually not a repeat. Same topic, different post. You might be suffering minor deja vu.
This guy is one of the reasons I visit this blog. Hilarious comments all the time even though not everyone agrees with him.
Charvid in abj and lokoja hv ready to wear plus sizes..mainly sef..I'm nt even gettin paid for ds ad..
Nd Phat girls was nt. 2006 movie Joor…
err i know phat girlz was released in 2006. btw i think Sheila would've made sure before posting it #just saying
I was born fat after my mom overate. I was called ‘sally mama’ till my teen yrs wen I lost weight. I am nt overweight but I’m full size. Wen I go on a diet n lose weight, my husband won’t touch me but wen I add, he’s all over dat thing. I know men who love plus size women n I have 3friends dat make me look like angelina jolie. Its only normal for dem to struggle wit their weight but I know dat dose of us (n d men) who love dem, love dem, for their personality. Wen u finally meet d one, he won’t c wat u think he’s seeing n dat thing will be an added plus *wink*
hello love to know u pls
Second!
Second what, exactly?
Ahahahahahahahaha!!!! :p
im a curvy girl uk 14 to be precise and trust me im proud of my curves to all the big women out there you should be proud of yours too. :)
I relate so well with this post and it really annoying. I think its high time people started minding their biz. I know very big and beautiful women, beautiful inside n outside.
i went from a size 8 to size 10, a particular dude on my BBM would not let me rest. anytime i put up my pix, he comes like: U don become orobo oo, what are u eating, u better watch it, remember u never marry, pls don't come back to naija like this oo…. i got angry one mrn and deleted him…….#Onye iberi be
Lmao, the ‘carshocks’ caused me to burst into laughter! I for one have been heavier than my peers all my life, so I don’t get what the big deal is. My body, to me, is normal. Same way some people are short while others are tall, some are big while others are small.
Also, being big has never affected my love life. Truly, I seem to attract more male attention than my skinny/normal friends, though I think its largely due to my personality! I think it’s very important to learn how to dress and carry /comport yourself.
Some people can be insensitive and mean to the point of being cruel though. Now, when someone says something derogatory/asks me to lose weight, I have two favorite answers (1) I’d rather be this size with my face and endowments, than skinny and look like a horse *insert pointed stare* (2) I’m happy with my weight. Anybody who doesn’t wanna see me, close your eyes when I walk past! Lol
Fat girls get no love! Sad but true. I used to be fat but I guess I got tired of being labelled the culprit in food shortages at home and also being called the minister of kitchen affairs. The thought of being an outcast and possibly single forever made me shed that weight. I didn’t go on a diet neither did I work out. It was that fear that shed it. I can’t even explain. Forget relationships health wise, it is advisable to lose that weight.
@d “weirdo” who z into cute big girls.. Hmmm r u single? *wink* Lol!
Mr Preying Mantis.. No need to be so rude(evn doh ud call it blunt).. Fat women- hippos? Come on.. Comments like dat erode self esteem.
That being said, Sheila ur sooo right! Am a 16/18, n v heard all dat n evn worse! I had 0 self esteem. Then one day I realised.. If u dnt love urself, hu will? (Cliche I knw buh true). So. I try to eat healthy, I dress accordingly(thankfully am jst wide,no unneccessary protrusions) n I work my curves! If u dnt like it, go jump in2 d lagoon. N d guy that wud love my body, will. Its really dat simple.
This post is dedicated to the bbm chat I had yesterday. Excerpt. “Your bobo is taking care of you o, me: no bobo o, find me bobo now. Guy: ha!, as you fine reach? Nobody wan marry orobo?” Now, I am a size 14. I don’t remember ever been a 10. I have broad shoulders, and big bones. I tried loosing weight once and everyone begged me to add it back cos I looked sick. My point is that, know you body frame and structure and know the right amount of weight you need so as not to be overweight. You can still be big and not fat. There’s a difference.
LMAO @ 'I tried loosing weight once and everyone begged me to add it back cos I looked sick'. pele dear. dont worry u'll find true love
Forgot to add. I am also busty. The (little) fat I have is in the waist and tummy area. Which I work on when its just about to get out of hand.
@d "weirdo" who z into cute big girls.. Hmmm r u single? *wink* Lol!
Mr Preying Mantis.. No need to be so rude(evn doh ud call it blunt).. Fat women- hippos? Come on.. Comments like dat erode self esteem.
That being said, Sheila ur sooo right! Am a 16/18, n v heard all dat n evn worse! I had 0
@d "weirdo" who z into cute big girls.. Hmmm r u single? *wink* Lol!
Mr Preying Mantis.. No need to be so rude(evn doh ud call it blunt).. Fat women- hippos? Come on.. Comments like dat erode self esteem.
That being said, Sheila ur sooo right! Am a 16/18, n v heard all dat n evn worse! I had 0 self esteem. Then one day I real
@d "weirdo" who z into cute big girls.. Hmmm r u single? *wink* Lol!
Mr Preying Mantis.. No need to be so rude(evn doh ud call it blunt).. Fat women- hippos? Come on.. Comments like dat erode self esteem.
That being said, Sheila ur sooo right! Am a 16/18, n v heard all dat n evn worse! I had 0 self esteem. Then one day I realised.. If u dnt love urself, hu will? (Cliche I knw buh true). So. I try to eat healthy, I dre
@d "weirdo" who z into cute big girls.. Hmmm r u single? *wink* Lol!
Mr Preying Mantis.. No need to be so rude(evn doh ud call it blunt).. Fat women- hippos? Come on.. Comments like dat erode self esteem.
That being said, Sheila ur sooo right! Am a 16/18, n v heard all dat n evn worse! I had 0 self esteem. Then one day I realised.. If u dnt love urself, hu will? (Cliche I knw buh true). So. I try to eat healthy, I dress accordingly(thankfully am jst wide,no unneccessary protrusions) n I work my curves! If u dnt like it, go jump in2 d lagoon. N d guy that wud love my body, will. Its really dat simple.
Bukky you just made me laugh.
I am here to protest on behalf of tall slim guys. We get no love. All the shirts our size are made for big, wide people. I can't get a suit to buy ready made anywhere in the world. The only ready made shirts that fit me are the limited H & C slim fit (15/35) size (Lowkey gift request). When the body is fitting, the arms are too short. When the arms are long enough, the body feels like a parachute (makes me feel like jumping off the roof). Same for T-shirts. When I get my size, they turn out to be the male equivalent of "Show me your navel." Trousers and jeans are manageable for some reason but they tend to float because I refuse to grow a wider waist. When I wash them, they jump a few inches and there you have it! Boy alinco in jump-up-ay trousers. Abi na Michael Jackson? Kmt
I feel your pain on flights and having corporate shirts with sleeves that aren't long enough or buying blazers
*sigh*
Same thing for public transport. You people build danfos and taxis where my head is touching the roof and my knees are bumping against the iron seat in front. Planes are no better. I spread my knees on most flights (except in business class) just cos the seats are not made for tall peeps. Air France take note. -__-
And then your doors in your houses are too damn short. What are Nigerian builders turning into these days?! The light chandeliers hit my head, the fan almost decapitates me and the hand shower never goes above my head. I can't with this country!
You fat girls think you have a hard life. THINK AGAIN!!!
eeeya sorrry mate. it really is tough world. u r too tall….I bet the gals wont leave u alone too right, what is it most gals r looking for TDH…some add "with rock hard abs". I still think it is a little price to pay
i feel u jare. when you are over 6 feet tall, every one thinks you are abnormal when in reality, they need to 'grow up'.
oh yes, there's also the fact that everyone calls you 'lekpa' or 'tallest' (that's the one that ticks me off so badly, i want to slap someone). Never mind the fact that you cant get a decent pair of pants without trying on 400 pairs first. As for buying jackets, i have given up; jackets with sleeves that fit me just DO NOT exist.
The funniest part is that i am not skinny by "normal' standards. i am a UK size 10-12 but my height somehow doesn't reflect that. Even my tailor sometimes decides that the measurements she took by herself cannot be real; I look to skinny to have a 38" bust or 42" hips.
someday, a designer for my body type will emerge, or i will learn to make clothes!
Jennifer Hudson lost some weight, even Monique the quintessential fat girl is trying to lose some weight.
I used to be a size 8 in university, now I’m a size 10 and I work out whenever I get the chance in order to stay fit, not neccessaryily to lose weight. There are still parts of my body I wish were washboard flat- yes yes my tummy *sigh* but heyy its just not happened yet
Bottomline, don’t marinate in Ur own fat. Stay fit, stay healthy, dress to suit your shape/size and for your own comfort and most importantly l♥√عyourself the way you are first before U start looking for someone else who will accept U.
Jennifer Hudson looks terrible. She’s a good example of ‘skinny isn’t always nicer’
no she doesnt! she looks hawt and healthy.
Her head is way too big for her body, fact! Its the Oprah effect all over again.
*shrugs* i'm a pretty US 10 up/12 down (don't ask) with a nice rounded figure… i hate it when i lose weight… i think the trick is to stay within the BMI (body mass index) recommended for your age/height etc Just be healthy really….and confident.. there's someone for everyone.
BMI calc here: http://www.nhlbisupport.com/bmi/bmi-m.htm
' I'm telling you this as a brother to a sister. i wouldn't want you to cry because your bf left you cos you're big.' Those words came out of a dude to me and i was like WhatTheFlippingHeck!! are u for real? and the camel still continued saying i'm just looking out for you.
The insensitivity of most Naij men to a girl's weight is mind-boggling how wld u feel if someone asks why you are so broke :D I have a friend whose elder brother said she can't get married being the size that she is. people give me funny looks when i stare at my photos and go i'm so beautiful, i love me…. i love myself and i'm healthy that's all that matters :)
Sheila should come up with another post: Fat People Living in Denial.
"i stare at my photos and go i'm so beautiful, i love me…. i love myself and i'm healthy that's all that matters :)". No one's buying this.
Err didn't say i was selling it.
smh…
I could but then I would also need to do another post on people who are big because of their medical conditions which requires them to take drugs that have steriods in them or women on birth control pills that end up adding all the weight …
or better still i could also do a post on people who find amusement in making fun of other people online …and would like to imagine that they are better than the whole world
:)
It's a cold world, Sheila.
Your first paragraph seeks sympathy votes, which you've already gathered. Your post made no reference to fat people with medical conditions, rather, your post conveyed the challenges faced by a 'single' fat lady. This post focuses on the superficial. Don't turn this into a sob story.
I have no idea what you're on about in your second paragraph but I look forward to that post.
'….It doesn’t matter if it was an effect of self-esteem issues, health problems or genetics. As long as you are big and single, you are an outcast.' —> copied from the post
The post is based on the insensitivity of Nigerians and how they do not know how to speak to people. I am not encouraging people to live in denial, instead I am informing people like you on the effect of attacking others without any form of sensitivity to how they may feel…I chose the weight comments because that is the most common
This can be applied to anyone, I have a friend that has been told to add weight because no man wants to marry a bag of bones..really?! and trust me eating is not a problem for her, she is naturally skinny no matter what she eats…. Or a lady who has Alopecia and is constantly taunted because uninformed Nigerians think it is cool to say things like 'ah ah go and buy wig now, this your bald look na wa o, how will you wear a veil at your wedding'; if people knew how to think and consider people's feelings before speaking in the first place, she would not have to feel the need to constantly educate others on what Alopecia was or go home to cry.
THE POINT IS…before you insult someone or make insensitive comments consider how they are feeling or wonder if there is more to it than just FOOD.
Would a 'Milo clap' suffice, Sheila?
Errm…. is this Funbi Thomas Crown guy single? Im a single ‘orobo’ babe oh, and i am cute too..
looool, Funbi is very single into big curvy , well endowed and very single girls *logs out and hides cos hes gonna kill me if when he sees this*
The ladies are the ones who stay worrying about body weight considering what some people have gotten themselves into over time to stay fit…. fat, slim or in between…i think we should just preach about being comfortable with your self and ways to build self confidence….instead of walking about with a complex….there are more serious issues to be worried about than thinking about the person who will refer to you as ‘orobo’ on the streets of lagos…stay healthy and CLEAN!!!!!!!!
there is a market for everyone. I know guys that wont date a skinny girlz. Having said that, I have met friends who are plus sized but only chase after tdh guyz with abs to die for. Lets face it, a guy that spends so much time on getting fit, then physical attachment is obviously important to him and if he holds himself to such high standard by working hard for it, he might for girls he is dating as well? Dont get me wrong, there are prbly some (actually prbly just a handful) that are not that shallow. But if you are discriminating against some guys based on their physical looks, then dont be angry wen ppl do the same._PS- Sheila, this is not aimed at
PS- Sheila doesnt look like an orobo from her pictures (avatar and her website). Curvy is the word
Naija people are insensitive; not just on the issue of weight.
@guys that like fat women; what dress size is fat to you. 14-16; 18 and above; because there is fat, and then there are some people that look like 'lumps'.
my take is if all the comments about your weight make you unhappy, and you can do something about the weight, then do. Don't be sulking about being called an orobo while eating more junk. smh
I've always had this thought that fat people are always uncomfortable. Like the fatness is choking them from inside ….
For me, the issue of discrimination on grounds of body size cuts across various body types, although, I gotta admit that big folks have it harder, specially if you’re vertcally challenged (short) as well. I can’t count the number of time people have made snide remarks about my body, friends, acquaintances hell, even my mother. I’m far from being plus sized, very far, I fluctuate between size 4 and size 6 uk and us, (I’m never sure which is which) and I’m about 5″2 which means I look like a child in simple terms, which does make life slightly harder than it should be. But one thing I’m sure of is that regardless of your size or body shape, there will always be someone, man or woman, who would look at you, call you beautiful, and mean it!
Fat people CAN actually do something about it.
My sympathy goes out to the handicapped, the scarred, albinos etc., not fat people who refuse to do anything about the extra weight. I say 'refuse', meaning they can but they won't. You don't have to be skinny, you won't find your size in the market either (I'll tell you this for free). But when okada men refuse to carry you or passengers start grumbling and giving you dirty looks when you try to enter a bus you should do something.
As for not finding guys, I can't help but disagree. A lot of men love plus-sized woman and openly express this preference, so y'all should find each other somehow jare.
Carriage matters.
I have seen slim and also big girls with a whole load of carriage.
Maybe because they blessed with a curves to accentuate the extra flesh and big bones but my, they look so edible, ravishing and sexy.
Then the talk about being lazy and all, well, u tried lifting that number of pounds on your skinny bodies consistently and not break into a sweat?
Being fat requires more work, deodorant, perfumery, finesse and packaging but it is possible to ooze of grace and be gorgeous, even after having kids.
Fat girls are fun cos every part of them is a crease, loads to grab and hold and generally they are more humane.
Skinnies are predominantly bitches and arrogant and only more sexually flexible.
Many guys will always desire a fat girl for keeps, all other factors being equal i.e. hygiene, habits, carriage etc.
Who is asking you to carry your wife? I def don’t plan to. Who is ganna shoot me???
Two posts now by Sheila on being fat or not.
I'm sincerely tired. Can we talk about something else?
still searching for the first one :)
Was also going to say the same thing.. Where did she write a post on being fat before this? :s
I'm surprised no one noticed, least of all the writer and the toolsman himself. I have read this article before, and that was before the Naked Convos was launched.
err.. yes its not a new article.. we know that.. but thats not what Lisa was trying to say…
this article is not new…I wrote it for my blog a while ago…but it is the first time being featured on TNC…
no one noticed 'cause not a lot of people like you know my blog :)
Pls follow propertiva on twitter and like propertiva on facebook, http://www.propertiva.com: the future of real estate in nigeria
I need a big lady….I have not seen one that like me yet because I am small….i like big cute carrying lady who would not discriminate against my small size
Not only fat pple av issues just like Highlandblue pointed out, overly skinny pple, really petite pple, etc. do…
Shops would mostly carry broad spectrum products, that would cater to the needs of the greater part of the populace…its just normal, the higher the demand, the more the supply…. Same when it comes to relationships & pple…the norm is mostly sourced for & accepted.
My opinion is be healthy, be clean & be confident & the usual cliche ‘love urself’… As for discrimination & the things pple say, even a paraplegic would get insulted & av his/her self esteem rubbished…its just life & the fact that pple would always talk regardless and ur situation probably won’t change a person’s sensitivity level…
I had the same reaction when I watched Phat Girlz, I was wondering which Nigeria they were talking about. I have dated big girls and I have gotten all types of jokes and ridicule from Nigerian folk. Although I think our people are not sensitive in general. People like to say what is on their mind without thinking about the consequences of what they say or how it makes other people feel.
All I can say is develop a thick skin and dont let what people say bother you and I am sure there are folk out there who love bigger girls.
i rep d skul of tot dat says "everything in moderation". i like a slim or moderate sized lady with d "front" and "back " intact.av seen slim women who r shapely n cute and av seen big women who are gorgeous! my my my! Lord have mercy! one tin is sure, ders a level of weight or loss of weight dats unhealthy.. if ur thin n look anorexic problem dey o..and if ur bigger dan the Michelin blimp (dunno how many ppl recall d Ad) den get with the program: love urself, stay healthy and accentuate ur beauty..nuffsaid*
Please, there's no reason for a woman to be too big or too thin. Both are bad. Its not even about marriage or anything, it is for health. I used to be a size 18, then I realized that it was dangerous., Just as bad as drinking and smoking. So I lost the weight.
So Sheila when are u getting married?
Everybody must complain. You're too tall. You're too fat. You're too short. You're too skinny. As far as your healthy, be fat or skinny all you want. And as my biology teacher says: “anyone fatter than me is too fat, any one skinnier that me is too skinny, anyone shorter than me is too short and anyone who is taller than me is too tall” :D
Oh and I think Jennifer Hudson looks terrible now. (she had surgery tho. Monique too although Monique looks great)
hmmm, me i am too skinny. my bmi says so cos i am 5"8 and i weight 118pounds. i am serioisly trying to gain some.
i av frnds dat are big.
like someone said earlier, if u r big and healthy, den fine. but if u are am american 18/20 @ 20smtn, im sorry, i do not think that is healthy.
u can be beautiful/pretty/cute but im almost certain you wont b healthy.
as much as we love to concole ourselves, we av to face reality as well.
dont we all read about ppl dat slump?
or have cardiac whatever? its cos of the fat around their heart.
pls lets be less selfish and think of our loved ones and family. nobody wants us to die b4 our time.
lets stay healthy.
and as per single big girls, yes there are guyz that like big girls but they are few and far between.
I'm a fat girl. I used to be depressed about it when I was a teenager. I felt people rejected me because of it. People's rejection didn't hurt as much as my mum's, who, funny enough, is fat woman herself.
I am above all that now and what works for me is this: being strong and confident and realizing that my body size is not the determinant of my health. I could be a size 10 and have the same health risks as a size 20. I engage in a few physical activities, I LOVE to dance! I jog when I am not too tired to and get this, the point is NOT to lose weight. The point is to be active!
I believe that when fat girls understand that people will ALWAYS have one issue or the other with the way they look, they'll work more towards becoming healthier than towards becoming what people want them to be, which is usually skinny. I don't plan on losing weight. I love my rolls. I love my belly. I love my fat ass. I love myself!
I have a great personality (which is really what matters anyway), and quite frankly my life would be soooo much better without ignorant people who won't give me a chance because I am fat.
@funbi thomascrown…please are u married? can we hook up am single, searching, pretty fair orobo
okay i think i should say something to defend women who are not too fat.
i wear a size 20, though it looks like i wear an 18, cos i am beautiful.
i weigh…u can imagine…and yes, am not married.
however, i dont think love is about weight very much. its true that in sex, a man wants to carry the woman, but that is sex. sex has a way of being insatiable. today its a big bom, tomorro its skinny boobs, the day after its an anorexic…a man will always want something better, slim or not, divorce, adultery and bullshit still hits women smack in the face. but a man who loves and is content in that love does not have sex he makes love. that means putting the other first….
having said this, i believe that a fat woman who makes attempt to curb her excesses is still attractive, but only to a mature man who isnt sex crazy or driven by his libido 90% of the time.
from what i hear, slim women are not as caring or loving or warm as fat women, but the public opinion that matters so much to immature men hurts more than women realize when society ostracizes them for not hooking up with a beauty (model thin size,) but who wants a man who follows the world? really? who wants a man who does gymnastics 24/7? real love making can be HOT and steamy and flexible without the bones crushing each other…
its about the feeling, and feeling is also a pre condition of the mind…
dont over eat, dont fornicate, seek ye first the kingdom and try not to be insensitive. one mans meat is….
um…u can find me in thetruthshallsetusfree@facebook groups.com, HEARING THE TRUMPET SOUND, therieheart@gmail.com, therieheart@yahoo.com, Author: Redeeming Blackbridge…
that is; men looking for a lovely, decent, fat wife.
thank u!
The problem there is no one universal accepted unit of measurement for 'Orobo' so it becomes relative. This being the case i think the generally accepted standard for 'Orobo' in my area Delta, Warri, in my informed opinion is about size 16- 20 with variations for height.
Comparitive to the West UK caucasian's think anybody above 12/14 is more or less FAT in the 9Ja context that is slim and size 10 and down is skinny as most should be aware we don't do size O in Nigeria thats considered almost depraved.
Its in the black community that we have the subject of ASS augmentation, so to me and in my experience 'Orobo' is LIVE & KICKING and 4Sure Winning unless youre looking at caucasian men then thats a diffrent Ting as for me i cant get Enuff of 9ja Beef neva really liked pork so im Cool and Satisfied.
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Hey! I know quite a few american men that admire big women, me for one, will take a big gal and treat her like a queen. I don't care if she is 400 pounds. She can come stay with me at my condo and i will treat her like a queen. Especially black gals, women and that doesn't mean taking them to bed for sex right away. I'd love to get to know a few nice ladies and treat them right!
I think the trick is to maintain whatever figure fits you better. Trust me some people look better slimmer while some look better fatter. I went from a size 10 to a size 8 and it was the guys that were complaining the most especially since my booty went down too. So my advice to all girls is to stay in your comfort zone and to hell with all the haters.