Respecting The Lingerie
Hey people. Start of another week and I hope it’s a ‘hassle-free’ one full of pleasant surprises for all of us. I had an amazing weekend that climaxed at the MTV Meets with MTN event last night where I a Galaxy Tab twice in one night.. Well, the audience protested and I only left with one but I’m still so giddy because as much as I give stuff away, I’ve never ever won anything from a draw. So, huge s/o to the MTV team and look out for MTV Meets, they have some awesome stuff lined up this season.
Now, today, I wanted to share a story a friend of mine told me but as I did my blog round, I read something that absolutely captured what I had in mind so I’m jacking from Jozen, a writer I once featured here. I’ll see you guys on the flip side.
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I showed up at his door drunk, in heels, a trench coat, and underneath, a brand new piece of lingerie I bought. And can you believe this fool wanted to just talk? — true story from a female friend.
Dude, she had on some lingerie, but I told her she didn’t need all that, just get naked. — true story from another friend
I bought a new lingerie set, and you had the nerve to tell me you were too tired. — true story that happened to me in college
Fellas, enough is enough. The women are out there talking bad about us, putting less effort than ever in their nightwear and it’s our fault. We have no one else to blame but ourselves, because we have found some way to disrespect the lingerie.
Now before I go any further, let me stress, I am not speaking to all of you guys out there. I know some of you men love lingerie, respect it even. To you, hats off. Your father taught you well, and you also clearly do not have any access to Internet p0rn.
As for the rest of us, we’ve become desensitized to the lace. We’ve seen a lot, done even more, and now we’re acting like spoiled children. I know this because this is how I’ve acted in the past.
I’ve been a fairly outspoken advocate against lingerie for various reasons. My biggest complaint has been the way women use it as a gift. Lingerie isn’t a gift, ladies. It’s wrapping paper. The gift is underneath, and if I’ve had the gift a thousand times, the idea that the new wrapping paper is going to excite me is slimmer than her g-string. I also am a fan of the sweatpants and a tank-top aesthetic, the way it screams, “I’m down for whatever.” That look has the feel of a quiet indie film with the potential of an explosive ending. Lingerie? Not so subtle. Huge production, something like a Jerry Bruckheimer film.
But, as I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that just because I have this unfavorable opinion about lingerie does not mean I should go around disrespecting it, acting like my woman just didn’t put in all this effort to please my eyes. That’s a jerk move, and exactly the type of thing that encourages her to wear it for someone else who would appreciate it.
Back in the day, our grandfathers, fathers, and uncles treated lingerie with some appreciation. It was a special occasion, and they acted accordingly. If they were tired, they did some pushups or jumping jacks to get ready. If they were overly excited and anxious, they did some breathing exercises to get things under control. They didn’t go to sleep, they didn’t rip off the lingerie. They peeled it off, and stayed up all hours of the night to show their appreciation.
Now look at us: the grandsons, sons, and nephews. We’re treating lingerie as though it’s nothing special. Maybe it’s because we live in an over-sexualized culture these days, and a lot of young ladies are walking the streets in denim lingerie just to run an errand. More specifically, some of us have gotten around so much, lingerie isn’t even special anymore. Still, that’s no reason to disrespect the legacy of our elders. If the older men in our lives knew the way we treated lingerie, they would ground us.
The blasé attitudes towards garter belts and see-throughs need to cease, if only because it will affect the attitude of women everywhere. The less we care about lingerie, the less women will wear it, the more mismatched panty-and-bra sets we will see, and men, we do not want to see things go there. That is a dark world.
They are also losing their respect for us with every slight, every rejection. There they stand, right in front of our televisions, with something so silky it looks like we can drink it, and we tell them to move because we want to catch the highlights from the game we missed. Next thing you know, she’s searching for trips to Jamaica on Hotwire.
Fellas, join me in doing better. If we keep on acting like we’re too good for lingerie, women will think lingerie is good for nothing. We need to let our women know, we love the lingerie they wear for us, we respect it, and we covet it. From now until forever let’s ask for more lingerie, not less, and when the women supply our demands, let’s act like we know what to do, and do it better than that.
- Jozen (Check his blog here)
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Do we have lingerie lovers in the house? Ladies, I’d like to hear from you, what’s your take on this? Have you had any experience where you went the extra mile to look good underneath it all for your man and he didn’t notice? You know the drill, use the comment box to speak your mind. Cheers.
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Never worn any, ’cause I’m not sure what his reaction would be.. That’s really all.. *sigh* perhaps I should ask him what he feels about lingerie? He never complains when he sees me with none.. Ok now this is awkward….BYE! LooL
lol.. maybe you should ask him though..
Its harder if ure nt voluptious tho. U feel u look awkward in a lingerie. I luv em. I just feel I’m too model-like to pull d sexy look (. .)
Hmmm.. maybe but then again, good lingerie helps with the 'packaging'. it's all about creating that illusion isn't it?
Lingerie! I wear not just cos of my man but cos i love the way i look in them!
Well, good.. but definitely, some form of encouragement from your man would be nice right?
My sexiest Lingerie, my EX bought it. Dude went shopping and bought me sexy, lacy tins. Oh and he knows how to work the ligerie :D
ahem.. and he's the EX? obviously it's not by knowing how to work the lingerie
Oh yes! Its not by knowing au to work d lingerie alone. Sometimes, fate deals with us some cruel cards :(
Yeah, I can relate
LOL!!! Loved this line “The gift is underneath, and if I’ve had the gift a thousand times, the idea that the new wrapping paper is going to excite me is slimmer than her g-string”.
I think just like every other thing, everyone can’t love lingerie. The key is to know your man and act accordingly lol! Personally, the few times i have bought lingerie, i was drawn to it maybe cos of the fabric, style and colour and i thought i’d look great in it. I thought of my man much later lol!
Hmm.. so maybe women don't even encourage their men if most of you claim you buy lingerie first for you before thinking about him. Or is it just that you don't expect him to appreciate it?
Well…….I really don't see it as an issue or something that's so important it needs to be encouraged. He either is in to it or he isn't. Lingeria should not be a criteria for grading your man. I thought of my man later not cos of the lingerie itself but cos of sm'in else which is really private :).
I once read a post where the writer spoke about how the right choice in underwear and lingerie can help boost self esteem, confidence etc.. In the comment section of that post, alot of people likened use of 'sexy lingerie' to foreplay expertise. Some argued that foreplay is important but how you present the 'package' is equally important. Some guys wont even get to foreplay if the package isn't presented properly.
Hope I got that right..
Anyways, point is sometimes men dont really express themselves well enough when it comes to these things, a little nudge and you'd be surprised…
I'm not disputing the fact that lingerie could boost foreplay but i don't think without lingerie, foreplay is dead. There are sooooo many other things that encourage foreplay. Lingerie again, is optional IMO.
Remembering those times *sighs* :D a complete gentleman he was.
I’m a lingerie lover and it’ll hurt like hell if my man does not appreciate it
LOL! If I buy it… Ofcourse it’s for him to see. Is it for photoshoot? Somebody has to see it…not just my mirror o… (˘̯˘ )
LOL
Funny enough, I recently had a lingerie convo with a friend.
I remember telling him, ‘lingerie is too much covering on a woman’s body’.
For me, in the bedroom, ‘as bare as possible’ with just enough to let my imagination run wild is it.
A lingerie is like putting my favourite ice cream behind a show glass and telling me I have to work to earn its pleasures. Boring.
*looks left, right* This comment sounds very igbotic (-__-) it's like junking the art of foreplay.. but then again, I guess we all can't be the same.. as long as your women like it.. good for you..
ok, I love lingerie for myself. lace and silk make me feel all feminine and sexy and stuff, so I’d buy it even without encouragement.
That said, lingerie is NOT comfortable. So if I wear it around the house and/or to bed, I’m trying to send him a message, so he better be paying attention!
IMO, it’s not about loving lingerie or not, it’s about appreciating the fact that your partner makes an effort to be sexy for you. Even if you aren’t particularly turned on by lingerie, a wolf-whistle wouldn’t hurt!
PS. this applies to brazilian waxes as well…those things hurt like the devil!
The lady makes a fine point.
Team nashural calling?
lol, hell to the NO!
@Tiki, Lool brazillian wax…now thats better than any lingerie
Never worn lingerie. Nono's first comment reflects my sentiments on the matter.
PS: Mr. toolsman, do you 'like' your own comments, or do you have fans on standby waiting to do it for you?
Even the 'LOL'!
lol.. funny thing is I was just thinking about this.. strange..
Wait, you said NEVER? Wow?
Yeah, a psychic once told me i'm psychic.
(Sure it isn't you? My senses are tingling <in a non-sexual way>)
Never felt the desire to. I'm not averse to it, it's just never crossed my mind.
Perhaps when I get into some semblance of a steady relationship, I'll be with someone worth the effort.
Ok, I think I've figured it out, I think the first like comes by default because I'm profiled as an Admin…
Glad to know you're not averse to it ..
Ah, that makes sense.
They're always in my lap, any way.
i’m so hooked on buying lingerie…silky, lace, and any undergarments at all. Most of the time when I’m buying, its cuz i feel good in them, what my spouse will think seeing me in them is secondary…. although comments from him when I wear them bursts bubbles *winks
a guy once told me the best kind of lingerie was the 'wrapper'……mschewwww
lwkmd!
somebody doesn't wanna cough up the dosh for VS…
How come no one has mentioned how expensive lingerie is! especially if you are erm racking up the the racks?
When I buy it, I buy it for myself because it makes me feel good. But i'll be damned if I get into some contraption and it's not appreciated or worse it's ripped in a rush. There will be hell and also a check.
I've never actually "presented" myself to anyone in lingerie. Maybe…
lingerie is for the lady. IT should make you feel delightfully good then your confidence and glow will strike him.
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I love lingerie…i love to shop’em at any time any day…..my man love it wen I wear it for him n wen I took it off for him…..
You should also keep in mind that if you hang on to someone too tight, you can lose them. You don't own her and if doing something that makes her feel sexy, or pretty means that much to her, why not let her.