Rounds 2012 WK16
Good evening, good people of the interwebs, and welcome to your weekly News Rounds.
***
Remember George Zimmerman? The dude who shot Trayvon for ‘looking suspicious’? Yeah, George Zimmerman apologized to the family of the black Florida teenager he shot dead in a surprise witness stand appearance on Friday and moments later a judge agreed he could be released on $150,000 (93,005.95 pounds) bail in the racially charged case that has captivated the United States.
Now I don’t know about you, but if George was black, and Trayvon was white, it’ll be an entirely different story. (And this is just our opinion here) Shit, if Trayvon was a beloved dog of white owners, George would be going to jail for sure. Animal activists would ensure that.
“I wanted to say I am sorry for the loss of your son,” Zimmerman told the parents of Trayvon Martin, Tracy Martin and Sybrina Fulton, who were in the Sanford, Florida, court.
“I did not know how old he was. I thought he was a little bit younger than I am. And I did not know if he was armed or not,” said Zimmerman, 28, the son of a white father and a Peruvian mother.
Moments later, Circuit Judge Kenneth Lester Jr. set bail of $150,000. Zimmerman’s defence lawyer had requested bail of no more than $15,000 and prosecutors, who had opposed his release, suggested bail of $1 million.
Rest in peace Trayvon.
***
Mercury records, a UK based record label has unveiled Dapo Oyebanjo popularly known as D’banj, as one of the artistes signed on the international record label.
When is this guy going to make up his mind? Wasn’t he signed to G.O.O.D Music before? Isn’t his name “Daniel” anymore?
D’banj was unveiled on the label’s website on Friday alongside a host of other international acts such as Elton John, Bon Jovi,Jay-Z, Jennifer Lopez, Nas, Rick Ross, Ne-Yo, Big Boi-of the Outkast fame, Fabolous and many others.
D’banj, recently signed with Kanye West’s G.O.O.D. Music label, which is also owned Island Def Jam.
According to D’banj’s new website www.dbanjofficial.com, his hit single single “Oliver Twist” is set for release May 14th.
Oliver Twist is going to be released?
*chortles* *dances to Oliver Twist*
Hold up, Terdoh…I don’t get it yo! Does Mercury records sign people who ‘own’ their own labels? Check out the list again. And is D’banj spiraling out of control. That n*gga will soon feature in a Nollywood movie. Mark my words.
***
Doctors at the National Institute of Child Health (NICH), Karachi, have successfully operated on the Pakistan baby born with six legs.
Well… damn!?
A team of five experienced doctors have successfully separated the extra legs and limbs from the baby today (Thursday). He is very much safe and secure…the doctors are examining the infant to plan for necessary treatment to…ensure he lives a normal life,” the director of NICH, Jamal Raza said.
The baby’s father, Imran Shaikh, who lives in Sukkur, says he is grateful that his son has being treated. “We are a poor family. I am thankful to the government for helping us treating my baby,” he told the media. Imran Sheikh also asked well-wishers to pray for the complete and early recovery of his son from the disease.
Meanwhile, the Prominent gynecologist and President Pakistan Medical Association Dr Samrina Hashmi has said the abnormality in the baby could be because of several factors, including improper medicines taken by the pregnant mother and contaminated water.
“In every 10,000 child births one baby is born with an abnormality such as a hole in the heart,” she said. “Then there is a possibility that several eggs were fertilised instead of one,” she said.
So listen here guys, talk to your sperm. Tell them to lock up once Usain Sperm Bolt has reached the egg. No fighting for space. We can’t be having six-legged humans in Nigeria. Our government won’t do shit for you oh!
Haha! Sometimes, the eggs sef won’t allow a nigga’s sperm be great. They just be attaching like some word document. I’m more bothered with how you gon’ find shoes for them legs, or drive, or climb the ladder of success shiii…
***
Also, Italy promises to help Nigeria fight Boko Haram, How? I dunno…maybe Al Pacino?; Apple’s new iPad goes on sale in South Korea; World’s oldest man celebrates 115th birthday; Jonathan vows to eradicate Boko Haram, with help from the Italian Mafia of course; Man Utd is still world richest club. And Puff Diddy, Diddy Dirty Money, Puffy Daddy is now the world’s richest Hip Hop artist, followed by Jay, Dre, Birdman, and 50 in that order.
***
You know how you turn on the sports channel and see a player old enough to sit down at a table of elders and break kolanut with the wise playing for the U17 league? Yeah, well the NFF told reporters that measures have been put in place to stop the act.
“We will stop the invitation of any player from the league to the Under-17 team,” NFF President Aminu Malgari said.
What he’s not saying is that they will be invited from Ojuelegba under bridge, Oshodi along etc…
Now get this, Further, players invited to the cadet team must produce authentic credentials with issuing dates not less than 10 years prior. Additionally, such players would be required to currently be in secondary school, and be in a position to write and be photographed with at least 10 of his or her classmates.
Am I the only one laughing at this?
Also, for the Under-20s and Under-23s, players would be required to state their institutions of learning, provide first SSCE results with names of at least 10 classmates. A list of siblings with names and dates of birth would also be required to be listed in the declaration form.
Though he admitted that the task will be herculean, it has to be put to an end “It is our determination to put this machinery in motion, backed up by MRI machines to ensure that we detect age cheats in our football,” Maigari said. “It is damaging to our football and we have to stop it.”
This dude is definitely on some top notch mushrooms..MRI machines indeed. We get light?
And so now, Okocha and Kanu will not have to watch their age-mates bully their children.
Amen.
***
TUPAC IS ALIVE!!! IT’S A MIRACLE!
But Jesus did it first. In 3 days. So this has to be some form of plagiarism right?..
For those who don’t understand what I’m talking about, a hologram of Tupac Shakur was formed at the Cochealla festival on Sunday night. He appeared on stage, performed one of his singles, and disintegrated into sparkles like Edward Cullen. Other hip-hop artistes that performed at the show include Dr Dre and Snoop Dogg.
Watch the video over at our S.U.G.A.R section -> Tupac Hologram
Tupac Amaru Shakur has sold over 75 million albums worldwide as of 2007, making him one of the best-selling music artists in the world.
Tupac’s hologram rapped better than Ice Prince and is largely requested worldwide to come back and give Soulja boy some career advice.
Yo Terdoh, did you notice the boner on the Hologram? Like that was just pure genius..I mean how did they do it? Can’t still put my hand on it. The only thing wrong with the performance was that we could see through it…
Wait, Kev, You noticed THE BONER on the Hologram? Ok.
***
Popular comedian and actor Bright Okpocha popularly called Basket mouth has turned to one of Nigeria’s rappers.
Believe it or not, Bright recently freestyled on Dj Jimmy Jatt’s Jump off.
Here is the video if you people think I’m joking. Because it’s not even funny…
Hahahahaha! Its not even funny. Terdoh your mouth is leaking now o! Well I’m sure you know a thing or two about not being funny feels so yeah..carry on)
***
In the WTF-Why-Is-This-News? segment:
Exercise is normally good for you, but not when you do it like this. This is not winning.
A weightlifter has reportedly shot himself by accidentally dropping a weight on a bullet.
Why would you work out around bullets?
The 56-year-old claims he was left with a ‘gunshot’ wound to his shoulder after dropping the dumbbell onto a rimfire .22 caliber bullet.He says this caused the bullet to shoot towards him and leave him with the wound which required medical attention.
Police have confirmed they found no gun at the home, but that they come across a shell casing from a .22 caliber bullet.
They added that officers found the man’s story suspicious, but not impossible.
Someone should ask him to do it again and prove it..all this story isn’t necessary.
***
In more WTF news, Hunger Games (the movie) has driven some people crazy. Police in California say a burglar made himself comfortable after breaking into a family’s home drinking their champagne and then taking a shower.
I don’t understand how you will break in, see champagne, and settle down to drink it there, then enter your ‘victim’s’ bathroom to take a shower.
In fact the naked burglar was still in the shower when the family returned home and called 911 and he was still in the shower and lathered up when officers arrived.
Officers — who arrested the 25-year-old at gunpoint — say he had also helped himself to a meal at the Mojave Desert community home before jumping in the shower.
Guess the dude had to look good for his mugshot and you know prison food is crap.
*****************************
The What-The-Fuck?-Why-Is-This-News? section is open to all. So if you see something on the news on TV or read it in a newspaper/magazine, please send it to us (rounds@thenakedconvos.com) before midnight on Fridays along with your name and source and who knows, we might just use it.
@Terdoh and @Sirkastiq signing out. See y’all next week.
This section, always ridiculous. Lwkmd.
The football people are jokers. Dbanj is just an idiot
Hilarious as always :D
"Puff Diddy, Diddy Dirty Money, Puffy Daddy" LOOOOOOOOOOL
WHAT?!!! "Basketmouth the lyricist"? Doesn't he have friends? My question is, how did that guy manage to hold the camera steady? Lord knows I would have dropped that shii and rolled out of the studio, literally. And what's with the seizure-like spasms?? Nigga, this ain't the 80s.
But hey, what do I know?
I feel so bad for Trayvon's family. It's gotta be heartbreaking to see that murderer freed, even for a minute. Let's hope justice is gotten at the end.
Nevertheless, the U17 one is just hilarious! I'd like to see how they implement that one in practice!
LOL!!! …the only section on TNC i always find time to read …u guys keep up the good work
And yes Terdoh is King :D
A child ws born wt 6 legs?! O.O…dts sme great news 4 al dm end-of-world magazines vendors carry abt nowadays….heard our presido also went 2 Germany 2 ask 4 support on d boko haram ish..nigga s funny sha…lool @ d burglar dt bathed..he popped champagne, ate nd went 2 hv his bath..dts living mehn…d owners of d haus were snitches 4 rainin on his parade..am sur he wulda done d dishes nd prolly done d laundry afta he ws done wt his shower