Published on May 12th, 2012 | by thetoolsman4
Rounds 2012 WK19
I know I ought to welcome you and all that bla bla that Terdoh writes up here when he’s welcoming you to “Rounds” but truth is I can’t be bothered. You’re here already so you might as well just maximize the bandwidth and read the link you’ve opened.
Having said all that, Welcome to Rounds.
Let’s kick things off on the local scene,
Nigerian President Goodluck Jonathan has requested that his fellow African leaders should empower the youth and women with education and entrepreneurial skills to enable them take up leadership positions in the next decade. The president went on to state that one of the problems limiting the youth’s ability to pursue their leadership dream is the lack of financing as the salaries obtained from paid employment is too little to fund such desire in a typical African setting…Here I used to think we were the leaders of tomorrow, dem don shift am go next decade now. Issorai. Meanwhile this GEJ will just be talking sense outside the country, I think his brain gets better reception when he travels. However if you think this will make him increase minimum wage, you might want to think again.
The National Broadcasting commission (NBC) is seeking to ban the importation of used TV and radio sets otherwise known as ‘tokunbo’ from the year 2015. According to the NBC, this is in compliance with the deadline set by the International Telecommunications Union (ITU)…wait! the who? Ban what? Why are they doing this to us? its my Hausa brethren I pity in all of this sha, no more annoying transistor radios.
The Big Brother Star game started last week and already, lots of drama has noticeably gone down. Nigerian celebrity representative ‘Goldie’ has already began to show her true color. This was evident on Day 2 as Goldie openly wept (hence ruining her makeup and revealing her color). Goldie claimed to have been weeping because she was missing her late mother. (Y U NO weep for house na). Our dear Goldie would later let the floodgates open again when she had a little bust-up with fellow housemate ‘Roki’ . It can be reported that Roki referred to Goldie as a ‘Gold-digger’ and this made her all emotional and pained hence the tears…Wait! Isn’t Goldie short for Gold-digger? I’m honestly confused here, I promise. Anyway, Goldie better behave, all this crying up and down isn’t why she is there o.
I know you guys want more of the Big Brother gist but please exercise behaviour, that isn’t the reason we are here.
A brother of one of the victims of Norwegian mass killer Anders Behring Breivik threw a shoe at him in court on Friday, the first time the trial has been interrupted by a public outburst.
“Go to hell, go to hell, you killed my brother,” the man screamed from the second row of the public gallery as he hurled the shoe at Breivik a few metres (yards) away, newspaper VG reported on its website.
The shoe missed Breivik but struck his co-defence lawyer, Vibeke Hein Baera, who was seated closest to the public gallery, during the presentation of an autopsy report.
Talk about bad luck. But damn! Have you ever been so fucking pissed, you threw a shoe?
Police described the thrower as the brother of one of Breivik’s victims, but the man’s name was not immediately available.
Some in the courtroom applauded, or uttered the word “finally”, and others started to cry. The shoe thrower was removed by police. Police numbers were boosted in the court after the incident.
“If anyone wants to throw something, you can throw at me when I’m entering or leaving the court,” Breivik was quoted by local media as saying after the incident.
“Don’t throw things at my lawyers.”
You’ve been warned.
The dude has been termed psychotic sha. Even though a second opinion found him stable.
Have you ever been struck by lightning?
In the balls?
A 53-year-old man in Madrid who was crotch-punched in his scrotum was said to have been walking down a street in the Spanish capital with his son when he was hit by a bolt of lightning and left unconscious.
The lightning is reported to have travelled down his leg before striking the ground. His son called for paramedics who took him to Hospital de la Paz.
Doctors say his heart and brain functions were not affected in the incident and that the man is now in a stable condition.
So yeah, are you having a bad day?
A presumably dinosaur-loving man from Nebraska has legally changed his name to ‘Tyrannosaurus Rex’
White folks be bat-shit crazy yo.
23-year-old Tyrannosaurus Rex Tyler Gold — previously just Tyler Gold — reportedly made the name change official at a public filing in a York County courtroom.
There he claimed that the Tyrannosaurus Rex moniker was “cooler” and that as a entrepreneur it’s important to have an easily recognisable name.
Because he wasn’t making the change to hide from creditors or law enforcement and had gone through the proper legal channels, Judge Alan Gless granted the request.
So now Tyrannosaurus Rex can enjoy using his new name on official documents including bills and his passport.
Well, people in the US bear the name “Edward Cullen” so I guess T-Rex isn’t so bad. No?
The What-The-Fuck?-Why-Is-This-News? section is open to all. So if you see something on the news on TV or read it in a newspaper/magazine, please send it to us (email@example.com) before midnight on Fridays along with your name and source and who knows, we might just use it.
@Cumical and @Sirkastiq signing out. See y’all next week.