Rules! Rules! Rules!
Too many things happened over the weekend and I really couldn’t pick just one of them to talk about. From the launch of the BigBrother stargame to the demise of the MBGN and internationally, singer Tank’s response to Brian McKnight’s recent ‘post-mid-life-crisis’, how could I possibly pick one to wrap this morning’s post around?
Now that you have my excuse, I’ll dive into today’s post. You know how the thing about rules is just that they’re meant to be broken? From the beginning of days there’s always been that fascination to rebel and just become the exception, the rule breaker – well, at least for some of us. Now, over the weekend, I was thinking to myself how most of the rules we get intrigued about breaking are the ones made by other people.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying we don’t like breaking our own rules but when you develop a rule, a guiding principle or whatever you want to call it, that is based on a down-right nasty experience from your past, it’s almost always impossible for you to break those rules – again, this is a generalization. Let us take relationships and general dealings with the opposite sex for example, I learnt some lessons veeeeery early on that helped me develop certain ‘guiding principles’ that up till recently, I didn’t realize just how valuable they’ve been. Some of these principles may sound silly but I’m going to share a couple of them and hopefully you’ll all be able to chip in and then take it from there:
Thou shalt not do the area runs
Most people laugh this off; yes, like you probably just did. But if you pause for a second and give this some serious thought, you might see the wisdom in the statement – especially for the guys reading. Who qualifies as ‘area runs’? Anyone who lives within 3 kilometers of your house, anyone who can get angry, up and leave your crib and conveniently walk back to their house. Also, best friends or really close friends of your siblings fall into this category along with exes of your really close friends too.
If you’re scratching your head wondering – then who’s left? You need to reexamine your ‘game’ and then do something about it. There are men and women outside this circle. Yes, they may bring just as much drama but trust me, you don’t want a mad, brokenhearted and angry chic capable of doing things you can’t imagine, living that close to you.
The walk is only shameful if ‘it’ wasn’t good
Walk of Shame? What’s that? And by this, I don’t mean ‘drive of shame’ is a better term. If there was a ‘oh, look at me, I just had sex’ look, maybe I’d think differently about this one. Ok, the point here is, as an adult, we should be responsible enough to process our decisions and take responsibility for them. You knew you were going to say ‘Yes’ if he asks you to come home with him; you knew it was a booty call; you knew about his girlfriend; you knew you’d have to leave early the next morning so instead of fussing about it, why not make it count? People cheat every second of everyday and I’m not about to go into the why or the how and like I said earlier, some of these ‘principles’ may sound silly, but I really see no need for you to go through the stress of cheating if it’s not going to be worth your while.
When I mentioned ‘rules’, I’m sure some of you thought I as going to mention stuff like:
- The 90 days sex rule
- The no kissing on the first date rule
- The learning how good he is sexually by how he handles the steering wheel rule.
If you don’t know, those are actual rules/principles I’ve heard from actual women and as crazy as some of them may sound, who knows, maybe it works for them and I’m not about to knock anyone’s hustle. All I’m asking us to do today is to share some of these rules/principles. Let’s examine them together based on experiences to see if indeed they are justifiable. Maybe you can even share a story that’ll further help convince us. So, over to you, use the comment box to speak your mind. Cheers.
PS: If you’re wondering what Brian McKnight has been up to, check the two videos below:
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heheee!!!
Wat Rules!!??
Actually, one of my personal rules is: the closer to my house, the better. I don't go out of my way to do 'area runs' though, but in a crazy place like Lagos nearer is better.
smh… sure you dont go out of your way?
unbelievable!!!!
At 10.25 & im still d fest 2 comment!! :D
*YIMU*
These rules are like ‘invisible societal norms’… i’m laughing my head off @ area runs… that will be mad tho havn a psycho stalker one-time-knack-gone-wrong on ur street like that Charlie’s neighbor in 2nhalf men… Walk of shame is just an individual tin when ur mind plays wit u dat evry person lookn at u somehow knows u just had sex or smtin.. For a guy dey r nt so bothered cos dose dat might know are probably giving them props n hailing them ‘sharp badt guy’ wit their looks!!! While for the girls…. well, i just wear my really big black shades, lock up n with my shoulder held high dt says ‘Fuck u if u judge me!!!’
For other rules tho, personally of course..
1. Never date a friend’s, sibling, extended family,ex’s bestfriend or ex-boyfriend… not just for anytin but just cos its a messy circle. If tinzz do not go well, u have to live with seeing those closer pple evryday or every other day!!!!
2. Vex money: no matter who u r, wherever we might be goin 2geda i MUST carry vex money. Incase if u fuck up, n i walk out like a Diva i must be able to sustain n be able to pay for my tippy!!!
3. If u try to get fresh with me the first time we are alone togeda without me giving u green light or initiating it….. Nothing for u!!!
4. I will think about it… What are thinking about?? U already know from the first time u set eyes on him if u were gonna shag him and u also already know from conversations with him if he is cool n ur kinda guy, n u already know dat u like him enuf to date him… So y d forming??? Just say yes already cos u know ur gonna, playing hard to get isnt gonna get u marks somewhere!!!
5. No married men – u can be sm1′s boyfriend or whatever- i like d competition but neva marrried!!!
6. Lastly, and this is d serious one.. if ur folks when we get to that stage esp ur mum doesnt like me or atleast be able to tolerate me.. I wont be able to stick around!! Its jst smtin personal…
Yup, i think dats about it!!!
Interesting list..
As or number 3.. chics be giving mixed signals sometimes so don't take it out on the poor confused dude..
5. This is not about you .. but I've heard this too many times among women.. just wondering if so many women have this rule then who are all the married men cheating with out there?
Hahaha read this yesterday but was crazyily busy at work and couldnt comment.
Nne vex is essential mehn!
i just learnt a new rule…………. never date ur frnd it just ruins stuff.
I had to hold back a little before posting this comment.
Afterall this is the reason why I put up the post in the first place. So we can share and maybe learn.
That being said, I think some background info may be necessary here, just so you don't get the obvious reply to your comment (should you then date your enemy?).
So please help us out. Thanks.
ok den. I and my 'good friend' decided to start dating and we had/have a lot of mutual friends, some where along the line, he claimed to lose interest and he started acting funny, bad thing was it was obvious cos we have mutual frnds and we all do stuff together. ryt now I have to hang out with them so I do not look like the burnt ex while I watch him just living his life like nothing was wrong. Mayb he pretended to luv me or we just arent good together, i really cant say, but I know if we never dated, our frndship would be very gud ryt now. We barely even talk again and our frnds kip whispering behind us.
im sorry but i dont agree wit this ooo.
i am married to a friend.
when we 1st met, i felt d chemistry but we jst chose to start out as friends. 2.5 yrs down d road, we are married.
me i will always say date a friend joor. dey already know al ur BS and prob seen u @ur best and worst.
I agree with you but not totally. I think the friends that know us too well always end up in the friend zone. I believe sex/relationships have an 80 percent probablility of ruining stuff
On d issue of rules in general, a Mark Twain quote ALWAYS comes to mind. . .
“Adam was but human — this explains it all. He did not want the apple for the apple’s sake, he wanted it only because it was forbidden.
The mistake was in not forbidding the serpent; then he would have eaten the serpent.”
@ @Ebironke: ur numbr 4 b making excess brains O! Babes b makin the Chase more important than the Personality.
The importance of vex money cannot even be over emhasized.. ALWAYS CARRY VEX MONEY!!!
I don’t agree with that whole ‘don’t date ur friends things’…who would u now date? I can’t date you if you aren’t my friend..it does not have to ruin anything..
I learnt a few years ago, that guys aren't as sensitive as girls (I'm speaking generally), they can be pretty clueless really, and it might be a frustrating waste of time to be waiting for them to figure it out.
So then, as a rule, I DO NOT SUB. Yes means yes, and no means no. Whatever I'm feeling or whatever I want you to know, you will know. No need to read hidden messages into my updates or try to decode anything. No time.
Actually, I think guys are just as sensitive if not more sensitive than girls. Them being clueless is not a fault of theirs, but ours as we honestly never really know what we want, we may give ourselves willingly to a guy and then days after, we're playing hard to get :s…like really? We're super confused beings.
If only some of us could be straight forward *sigh*
Abeg, whch 1 b d ’3. The learning how good he is sexually by how he handles the steering wheel rule’? Tell me, tell me, tell me – pls
I can’t even say yes to anything or make any commitment if I do not know his ‘capabilities’..I have to know what he can do..I can’t make a commitment and later find myself singing in my head and calculating money during sex..NO!! A very healthy sex life is important to me,thank you,
There is this couple that they let us talk to in the clinic..They have bin married for 2years,young innocent girl,virgin. While they were courting the man said they should save sex for marriage,she agreed. After getting married,she finds out the man can not get it up..It does not even stand to say ‘hi’ and get back down..NOTHING!!! I just can not!! Mba
Rules are blehhhhh.
Not having a relationship with an ex of a close friend or family member is more like a command….people be swimming with sharks.
Area runs are good for the most desperate times, it's just soooo convenient. Anyone who can get angry, up and leave your crib and conveniently walk back to their house is good if sexual actions have been made prior to anger setting in. If you're cheating and your partner works in just after actions have taken place, the idea of your neighbour coming to borrow salt or bedspreads from you is a valid way out of a dodgy situation.
Vex money is a matter of common sense…and fronting is essential to some extent, who doesn't enjoy the chase :)
Hahahaha… You're such an ollllll Gee… We need to see your resume, you sound like you are over qualified and experienced to comment on some topics.. Lol.. Sent from my BlackBerry wireless device from MTN
I'm sorry, but "The learning how good he is sexually by how he handles the steering wheel rule"?
Say what now?
What happened to the Learning How Good He Is Sexually By Seeing How Fast He Can Scroll To The Last Song On His iPod Classic rule?
Huh?
Since VEX money has been emphasised( this is a matter of life and death babes! You cannot vex n walk out only to walk back in or wait outside for him to take you home)
i think i'll just add my second rule; he fineh pass Thor, he dey make me drool, he get wife i no do :) koko of the matter is; a married guy is a NO! I no want thunder n lightning prayers of the Mrs anywhere near me n moreover me sef go marry.
The mere fact that are certain rules governing certain situations is enough to want to break them. Personally I don't agree with people that say you shouldn't date your friend's exes. One thing I would advise though is NEVER get involved with a lodge/flat or neighbour unless its just FWB, things could get messy.
@ Ebironke toh badt! like! ur comment…@iyamilele u got a point..toolz baba u r experienced o..wen are we all gonna hang? wud be cool…dont the rules apply 2 whr d guy lives, if he stays on his own or if he has a car and is doin well? Shud dat also be a rule n vice versa? if u really like a guy, wat wud disqualify him? Are d ladies left out? lemme know wat y'all think.
my rule number1 al diz church guys dat would ask u out by saying God said….its a no no for me oh! and if u wondering…trust me most of dem dunno hw to to treat a girl right… mainly cos dey feel dey are too sure dat u r going nowhere…#yimu.
true about church guys,smh
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