Published on August 31st, 2011 | by thetoolsman76
The philosophies of love & marriage.
Hey people. Today’s dialogue session will be introduced by @xoAFRO who writes at Afrosays To Me. Enjoy.
“Let your knees greet the ground my son as I pour you a blessing”
In an antiquated but richly decorated hut that was very modern in its own time, a weathered old man placed his large leather palms on the head of his only son, his last child, a young man of marriageable age.
The bedding on which the ancient man lay was not so far from the floor that he could not lift the tired bones in his hands to the head of AkinTunde. A mild fire said continuously, CRACK CRACK CRACK in the spacious room, lending some warmth to the elder’s now weak bones. AkinSola knew the spirit of his fathers and their fathers too would call him tonight and he sought to gift his only son in the time that was left to be extinguished.
“You will bring greatness to our clan. Meat and palm oil and palm wine shall be plentifully yours. Your farms shall be watered with the sweat of many sons and your quarters with the gossip of many women.”
He coughed some of that bitter, dry cough that had put him on this bed. AkinTunde would have offered some words of solace but this moment was not as others.
“You will surpass your father and his fathers and even their fathers…”
AkinSola surpassed them all. This is how we know: In the belly of his stores, there was meat and palm oil and palm wine in abundance. On his farms, there was the competition of many strong sons and in his quarters the most beautiful women made bed.
It was said that mothers advised their daughters to take the route past AkinSola’s house on their way back from the stream. “Men like a girl that can balance a water pot and very well shake her behind. Sing a nice song too, AkinSola might marry you.”
Indeed, of AkinSola’s sixteen women, of these water pot girls he had married three and they would not stop coming. All the girls dreamed of joining the select of new wives he always married every new moon.
All the girls.
“You know you’d be twenty-five next year? Aren’t you looking to get married or are you waiting for the government to give you a husband? Is your matter a Vision 2020 issue? We have been praying since, your father and I are worried! No man has come to visit you in this house, you don’t have any boyfriend that we know of…”
“Mummy! It’s okay now!”
“Just find a man that loves you. You know men these days are unreliable? They say they love you and they can’t stay away from other women. Not every man is like your dad but even your dad gave me problems in our first few years of marriage and if not for Christ… Sha, marry a good Christian man that would stay at home with you instead chasing women all over the place…
That is how your aunty told me that Kemi’s husband has been keeping one girlfriend like that. Can you imagine? Dele, that sweet boy? He rented a place for her in Ikeja and she’s even pregnant gaan! Your cousin is considering getting a divorce…”
“Sha find a man that won’t be jumping all over the place. A good Christian man…”
Mother and daughter, they continued chopping Ugwu leaves in the lantern-lit kitchen, the smell of fresh palm oil heavy in the air and the sound of its dance on the cooking pot playing to the choking air, CRACK CRACK CRACK.
It seemed funny to Stacy how times had changed. She remembered how father had told her about his grandfather who had kept marrying into his seventies. Stacy lost herself in the philosophies of love and marriage. Maybe man was only trying to cleverly adapt to society’s demands. Jimmy Swaggart? Bill Clinton? Tiger Woods? Ryan Giggs? Arnold Schwarznegger?
“…A good Christian man that would not break your heart…”
She would not be that naïve.
CRACK CRACK CRACK.
This short but excellent piece captures quite a lot of popular love and marriage philosophies in these parts. From the relationship between age & family pressure to religion, compromise e.t.c. A while back, I was thinking about some of these philosophies and how relevant/irrelevant they are nowadays. For instance, why must a woman marry before a certain age? Today, I’d like to hear from you; which love/marriage philosophy gets to you the most and why. Also, we can share the ones we appreciate/hope to adopt. Use the comment box and speak your mind. Cheers.