Published on April 30th, 2011 | by thetoolsman51
The Vagina Monologues Remix Finale.
Breaking & Entering By @Ms_Dania
I really wish I didn’t have It. Wish I could cut it out. After all, I didn’t ask for it. And it has done nothing for me.
It is the reason they’ve followed me since I was 6.
Tunde and Jerry in the play ground, trying to see under my dress as I went up and down the Janglova.
Up and down.
It is the reason Andrew, 24, stalked me when I was 12.
What else would he want with a child half his age?
Chris broke it off with me because he wasn’t getting It. Turns out he couldn’t do without Pussy after all.
I remember when I used to guard It sacredly. “Sit like a girl!” mama would say. “Close your legs!” the teacher would say, “You’re a lady”, and then all the boys would start to giggle. Silly little pricks.
And so I sat and closed and guarded preciously; my vagina; my ladyship.
Until he came along.
And took It. Just like that.
It really wasn’t his fault I think. It was IT.
I told him it was mine and mine alone. At least until someone took possession of me formally and then the person would inherit it.
But then he started to kiss me. And touch me. And then IT started to feel things. I didn’t understand; I still don’t. Why was one set of lips reacting when the other was getting kissed?
He pushed me down on the bed. I started to panic, but IT was loving it.
Let me go! My head screamed.
Why? IT replied, you’re loving it.
My mouth just whimpered.
He pulled down my skirt forcefully and slapped my thighs apart. My head won. STOP, I screamed. He took off my panties. NO! I started to cry. He looked at the tears on my face and faltered.
Then he looked at IT and IT said to him, look I have tears too, I’m wet too.
And he broke in and took It. Just like that he took it.
It was not yours for the taking you fucking bastard.
It’s one year after and he’s still here. What can I say? He was the first. He’s taken my ladyship; he has to have me.
I hate him.
I hate my vagina.
I want to cut it out.
But then I have to pee.
The Angry Vagina By @miafarradaily
Hello Men. How y’all doing? On behalf of my furious vagina, may I say:
Fuck you, cocks, schlongs, penises, johnsons, Mr. ‘your owner calls you happy but the only person you make truly happy is your owner’.
You don’t know shit.
You don’t know what it’s like to be wandering along, living your private little life and then for some greater good bullshit, it suddenly starts to rain red pain.
You ache and you cramp and you’re confused and just when you think, “finally, some sympathy!” someone shoves a big phallic piece of absorbent shit right up you.
Once and again, every 4-6 hours, every month of every year of your life that matters.
My blood, my pain, my agony.
Hey you! Yeah, you! Sitting in the back there…crossing your legs and playing with your phone under the table…
You came from a vagina.
You came from blood and pain and agony.
You came from OUR blood, OUR pain, OUR agony.
What’s that? Birth is a miracle? Motherhood is an honour? Are you kidding me with this Hallmark bullshit?
It’s a miracle I haven’t honoured you with death yet.
Indignity? Let me tell you about indignity!
Indignity is having some young kid with two consonants in front of their name poke and prod and shove metal as far into you as they can.
“This will be a little cold’ “This might be a tad uncomfortable”.
No, douchebag, looking at your stupid little face is uncomfortable. Those shoes I got on sale are uncomfortable. Going jogging in a g-string is uncomfortable.
Having a SPECULUM, a metal instrument of torture thrust and then expanded inside me? Uncomfortable, you say?
Why don’t you come a little closer, yeah that’s right…give me a good shot at your educated nose and I’ll show you uncomfortable.
Sex. Yeah, I see you; lady who wants to pretend having a vagina isn’t one big cosmic joke. Sex you say?
“Sex is good.” “Sex is nice.”
Remember your first time? Remember:
Oh, but now you’re saying “it gets better” Indeed.
You wear your ankles for earrings and in return you get the equivalent of a jumbo Toblerone bar.
You think this is fair?
There is NOTHING fair about having a vagina.
Know this: Swine get a better deal than you. They get to come for HALF A FREAKING HOUR. 30 minutes. And your clit gives you what, 5 minutes tops?
All pigs are equal, some pigs are more equal than others and Miss Piggy? Has a better sex life than you.
Sex is the cover up! Sex is the freaking distraction!
Here is the truth:
YOU ARE A RECEPTACLE for every promotion he didn’t get, every girl that said no, every squash game he lost…he pounds all of that into you and then leaves his salty detritus behind. On you; inside you; in that wet spot underneath you
A vagina: the most defenceless cavity in the human body.
At least a mouth has teeth. At least an asshole puts up a good fight. A vagina? Our traitorous vaginas? A pinch there, a lick here and they open up like flowers in the sunshine.
Not smiling anymore?
Not feeling so Amazonian?
So, we have come to the end of the monologues (*sniff). And a befitting end too. I’d have apologized for the length of today’s post but after reading it, I’m sure you know why I won’t. Share your thoughts on rape and the ‘injustice’ brought to the vagina, use the comment box, speak your mind. Cheers.